Monthly Archives: December 2015

10 Ways to Stop Being a Scrooge in Your Bedroom

It’s the season of joy, peace, and love! Except that some couples are not getting much of that in their marriage bed. Instead, one or both spouses are Scrooge-like this time of year — withholding sex or enthusiasm. Here are 10 ways to stop being so stingy and enjoy a little more holiday cheer in your bedroom!

10 Ways to Stop Being a Scrooge in Your Bedroom

1. Remind yourself of the Reason for the Season. Look, I’m a Grinch by nature. I think the Christmas season gets way too much focus, and I struggle every year to get into the holiday spirit. So if you’re struggling with your mood too, I completely get where you’re coming from.

But you know why we celebrate Christmas at all? It’s not because Mary and Joseph marked December 25 on a calendar as Jesus’ birthday. It’s because we’ve set aside this time to celebrate our Savior taking on flesh and beginning His earthly mission to save us — out of His amazing love. Whenever you feel annoyed by something during the holidays, including your spouse, remind yourself it’s about love.

Keep that forefront in your mind, and commit to displaying Jesus’ love to your spouse this holiday season. Your attitude is where your holiday spirit can begin.

2. Get something for each other before Christmas arrives. Since this is the time of year for extra generosity, start with your spouse. While hunting down Christmas gifts, find little love reminders to trade ahead of time.

Bring her home some flowers or a pretty nightgown. Give him some silk boxers or a picture of yourself in that pretty nightgown. Write a holiday-themed love poem for your beloved, like:

Poinsettias are red
Garlands are green
But you’re the best Christmas gift
I’ve ever seen

3. Decorate your bedroom. We decorate the living room and other places around the house. Why not spruce up the bedroom with some holiday touches? Maybe a garland around your bed frame, a holiday-scented candle for the nightstand, a small lighted tree in the corner, or cozy Christmas bedding.

In my home, when the cold weather comes, we slip on our flannel sheets, and both of us are more eager to slide under the covers and cuddle up together. Take a little extra time to make your bedroom an inviting place.

4. Play sexy Christmas music. Get yourself in the lovemaking mood with some holiday-themed music that makes your heart and your libido grow three sizes. Try my Christmas intimacy playlist or create your own.

Extra points for slow-dancing with your beloved to the music. Clothes optional.

5. Make time for lovemaking. Yes, we know you’re busy and stressed. There are 1,572 things left to do before December 25. How can you possibly add “sex” as item #1573?!

Find. A. Way.

Do more shopping online. Bake fewer cookies. Buy cupcakes for the holiday party instead of making them. Even skip that party you didn’t want to go to anyway. Find somewhere, somehow to cut back and make time for the two of you to make love. It will refresh you both and maybe even give you a little more pep to get things done this holiday season.

6. Send the kids to Grandma’s. She wants to see them anyway. Or look for other opportunities for your children to engage in holiday fun with family or friends that leaves you and your spouse open for private time together.

One church I attended put together a babysitting night for children run by teenagers in the congregation. Couples dropped off their kids and went to do holiday shopping. Well, sometimes we went holiday shopping, and sometimes we just went home and enjoyed other pleasures. But feel free to find someplace for the kids to go so you can hang onto your couple time and keep the bedroom fire burning.

7. Buy holiday-themed lingerie. I’m not saying you have to dress like a Sexy Santa or Erotic Elf, but there are some fun Christmas underthings and sleepwear. Keep your marriage bed festive by adding some red and green to your only-for-my-lover attire.

Or simply wrap a Christmas bow around whatever you’re wearing and let your honey unwrap you tonight.

8. Hang mistletoe, right above your bed. Does anyone else remember teenage guys pulling out mistletoe and trying to get kissed? Mistletoe seemed to be everywhere. And now that I have a man I daily want to kiss, I don’t seem to see it anywhere.

Why not grab a bunch of mistletoe and hang it in your bedroom? You can put it right over your bed or another strategic location and invite your own little Kiss-mases.

9. Do something extra for your low-libido spouse. If your spouse is already low on the sex drive scale, he/she is likely more overwhelmed during the holidays. Offer to relieve that stress in whatever way truly helps your spouse.

That could mean taking care of the kids to let her have a little time for herself, giving him a massage at the end of a long workday, offering to bring food home to avoid having to cook dinner. It could be more quality time, affection, or words of affirmation. Whatever it is that helps your particular beloved feel re-energized, do it. It’s the loving thing to do, but it might have the added benefit of allowing him/her to refresh enough for bedroom activities.

10. Play hooky one day. With the busy days, bustling crowds, and holiday stress, taking some hours off work or from other obligations may be exactly what you need. Take off a morning or afternoon to spend time together. Grab a long lunch, and make it a “nooner.”

Devote specific time to be intimate together, even clearing your calendar for a few hours to make it happen.

With all the tension of the holidays, it can be easy to shove aside your sex life. But ban the Scrooge from your bedroom, and enjoy the goodwill of sexual intimacy together this season!

Permission to Feel Beautiful with Bonny Logsdon Burns

We are nearing the end of this Feel Beautiful series, but I definitely haven’t run out of favorite marriage bloggers talking on this subject. And each has something special to add to this conversation.

Today we have Bonny Logsdon Burns, who runs the Oyster Bed 7 site with lower-drive wives in mind. Her outreach for godly marital intimacy is amazing, and she has a compassionate heart for those who struggle with libido. She’s delightful in so many ways, and I can’t wait to share what she has to say on feeling beautiful. So here it is!

Permission to Feel Beautiful with Bonny Logsdon Burns

I love this series. I feel more beautiful already! The wisdom in each guest post is as unique as the author’s brand of beauty. Thank you, J, for allowing me to accompany all these great encouragers!

For a long while I was not in a good place with sexual intimacy and part of the struggle was trying to reconcile the inner beauty/outer beauty mindset. Scripture seemed to tell me inner beauty was the only thing of value. However, my husband likes me wearing makeup and nice things, which involved my outer beauty. And honestly, I felt better about myself when I spent time on my outer beauty. But, wasn’t this focus on outer beauty a sin?

Can I be both Mother Theresa and Marilyn Monroe (the faithfully married kind)? Is that OK with God? If so, how does that work?

1 Samuel 16:7, “…..The Lord does not look at the things man looks at. Man looks at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart.”

It is interesting to me that in verse 7 of 1 Samuel 16 (above), it says the Lord does not look at outward appearance as a man. Yet, just 4 verses down we read:

1 Samuel 16:12 — “He was ruddy, with a fine appearance and handsome features.”

Then, I saw all of these heroes and heroines of God described as having physical beauty.

Sarah             (Gen. 12:11)
Rebekah        (Gen. 24:16)
Rachel            (Gen. 29:17)
Abigail            (1 Sam. 25:3)
Esther             (Esther 2:7)
David              (1 Sam. 16:12)
Joseph            (Gen. 39:6)

God is not against physical beauty.

1 Peter 3:3-4, “Your beauty should not come from outward adornment….rather it should be that of your inner self….”

Peter isn’t condemning a woman’s outer beauty. He is saying do not make it a pre-occupation. (Actually, the whole section is about how a believing wife can win an unbelieving husband over to Christ with the beauty of her way.) Christian women are encouraged to develop inner spiritual beauty. I don’t refute that.

However, God is not against outer beauty. He created original eye-candy! He painted lovely even in normal stuff. See?

Thistle for Bonny's post Beach for Bonny's post Rooster for Bonny's post

In the midst of trying to figure out the balance of inner beauty versus outer beauty, I realized inner beauty and outer beauty are like hydrogen and oxygen. Meld them together and create life giving water, H20. InnerBeauty2OuterBeauty. You see, the inner beauty needs twice the nurturing, but outer beauty is still important and a blessing from God. So, yeah, I think it’s okay to be both Mother Theresa and a faithfully married Marilyn Monroe.

Give yourself permission to feel beautiful.

Knowing that God created beauty, why is it still hard to embrace beautiful?

Saying that you feel beautiful does not mean that you are arrogant or vain. 

Vanity desires to be physically beautiful at all costs. There is no thought to serve any other than yourself. I would venture to go as far as to say it is similar to an addiction, being consumed with thoughts of the mirror and the desire to hear compliments.

Feeling your beauty, will not make you vain, unless you let it.

What if I start letting myself feel beautiful and rejection jumps out of nowhere to trample my heart? This is a real possibility. Your brand of outer beauty isn’t going to appeal to everyone. Just like your brand of inner beauty, having a heart soaked in Jesus, isn’t going to appeal to everyone.

“If the world hates you, keep in mind that it hated me first. If you belonged to the world, it would love you as its own. As it is, you do not belong to the world, but I have chosen you out of the world. That is why the world hates you.” (John 15:18).

However, both your outer beauty and inner beauty are pleasing to God. He’s really the only opinion that matters.

Beautiful girls can feel beautiful, too.

Accepting that you have pleasant physical features does not mean you are haughty. It’s acknowledging that God is a better designer than Louis Vuitton, Coco Chanel, and Christian Dior combined.

Beautiful Christian ladies who realize their beauty, may experience guilt, shame, or confusion because of it.

My personal story of confusion is from when I was a child. Because of my coloring; black hair, blue eyes, and fair skin; people stared at me. Occasionally, my mother would cluck her tongue at these people (usually boys) and yank me away. I thought they were staring because of something wrong with me. I didn’t know that people stared when something was good, too. It wasn’t until one of my sisters told me I was, ‘such a beautiful child people stared,’ I realized what all the yanking was about.

You may experience guilt over undue attention or guilt for enjoying the undue attention. The attention is a little nod from God. It’s okay to delight in it for a moment.

You may experience shame that men other than your husband notice or shame that your beauty was the (perceived) cause of sexual abuse (it was not your fault!).

Gorgeous Jesus girls, embrace your God given beauty! He wanted you to look the way you look. If you are actively nurturing your inner Jesus beauty, free yourself from the heavy thought that you are causing another to sin with your outer beauty. Their heart and lack of self-control is what is causing their sin.

Christ’s freedom will help you feel beautiful.

“Through faith in Jesus we have received God’s grace. In that grace we stand. We are full of joy because we expect to share in God’s glory.” (Romans 5:2).

He gave you your beauty so that you can use it to serve HIM more fully.

Admit you’re feeling beautiful, what’s the worst that could happen?

You’ll feel fabulous.

When you start to feel beautiful you might want to take care of that temple you’ve been hauling around all your life. Drink more water, less caffeine/sugar. Eat more fresh food, less processed. Get more sleep and don’t say mean things to yourself. Dance, or at least take a nice long walk. All of this will spill over into feeling beautiful and liking it.

You’ll feel empowered.

Satan uses our negative self-image and negative self-value as a hurdle to many things, including sexual intimacy. Owning your inner beauty and outer beauty chases Satan away and can improve sexual conflict. There’s nothing more attractive than a beautiful woman with beautiful ways about her.

Jesus will be heard.

The reality is, our society values outward appearance. Your pretty face and warmth of heart will help draw people to you. Once they pick up on your hope, you’ll be able to share the story of your favorite designer, Jesus.

..I have become all things to all people so that in all possible ways I might save some. I do all of that because of the good news. I want to share in its blessings.” (1 Corinthians 9:22-23).

Bonny Lodgson BurnsHi! I’m Bonny Logsdon Burns. I write to encourage the low libido wife at www.OysterBed7.com. I am passionate about empowering and equipping low-libido wives through God’s Word and practical tools. If you are a low-libido wife, please check out my book, Unlock Your Libido: 52-Week Sex Drive Transformation. It’s an easy journey that may have profound results.

My husband, Dave, and I are candid about struggles and victories in the sexual arena. We have three grown sons, two daughter-in-loves, and one sweetpea (granddaughter). My favorite thing to do is laugh at Dave’s corny jokes. We are currently relocating to south Florida, please pray for us because we’re living the notion that major relocations cause serious stress. Connect with me through Twitter and Facebook.

Q&A with J: “Will My Larger Penis Hurt My Bride?”

Today’s question comes from a fiancé getting married soon after the holidays. The husband-to-be has a couple of concerns about making the first sexual experience positive for his bride. Well, and positive for himself, I’m sure. Here’s what he wrote:

I am engaged to my beautiful future bride. We are both virgins and have no experience with the opposite sex.

My problem is I’m afraid I might hurt her when we make love for the first time and that is by far the last thing I would want to do. I’m afraid of this for two reasons one I am larger than the average male down there. . . I don’t think I’m a monster but I worry I may hurt her if I’m not careful. That brings me to number two which is my inexperience. How do I know if I’m pushing the limits without going over? We are both excited about joining in that union I just don’t want the first time to be a bad experience for her, or me.

Q&A with J: "Will My Larger Penis Hurt My Bride?"

I’ve written on this subject a couple of times before: Penis Size: From the Wife’s Point of View and Is My Penis Big Enough?

But frankly, most men are more concerned with being big enough rather than too big. In this guy’s original email, he provided specific measurements, and yeah, he’s definitely on the large end of the scale. So I understand and admire his concern for his virgin bride.

Here are a few things husbands with an XL penis might want to think about:

Vaginas are amazingly elastic. The walls of a woman’s vagina are comprised of folds of muscular tissue that can stretch several inches beyond their normal set point. Even though a single finger or two fingers seem to fill a wife’s vagina, God’s beautiful design allows her body to accept her husband’s penis and even deliver a child through this canal.

Having gone through the childbirth experience, I can tell you that no penis is as big as a child’s head. So rest assured that — unless your wife has physiological challenges like defects or vaginismus — her secret space can accommodate your size.

Arousal helps her vagina relax enough to stretch. Your bride’s vagina isn’t like silly putty — more like a rubber band. Silly putty, you can just pull and stretch and that’s that. Rubber bands require some exertion to stretch to the right size. Your “exertion” is called foreplay, my friend.

When a wife becomes aroused, two important things happen (besides her feeling really good): Her vaginal walls secrete lubrication, and her genitalia swell with increased blood supply. The lubrication makes her vagina slick so that the friction of intercourse feels pleasurable rather than painful, and the swelling relaxes her vagina so it can stretch further.

Dude, it’s your job to help these two things happen. Thankfully, God made this part a whole lot of fun . . . for both of you. Take your time turning your wife on, expecting that it may be 30 minutes or more before she is fully aroused enough to have intercourse. As soon as she begins to lubricate, you can use your fingers to spread that lubrication around her genitalia, which will make foreplay there feel even better. But she won’t be ready for penetration until her vulva swell to 2-3 times their normal size.

Remember, though, that foreplay for a woman isn’t merely stroking her girly parts. Sure, that feels good, but the whole kit-and-caboodle contributes to our excitement about lovemaking. A slow massage or caressing her arms and legs or a fabulous make-out session can arouse your wife enough to get things going down there. Slow down and enjoy the journey, knowing that it will make your destination that much sweeter when she is eager and excited to make love.

Lubrication is key. I mentioned lubrication above, but some wives don’t produce as much as they need or get there quickly enough. I remember being reluctant to add lubrication early in my marriage, because it felt like something was defective if we needed it. But that’s just not so. Sometimes our bodies respond quickly, and other times they don’t. And it can be nothing more than what time of the month she’s in, because hormones affect that.

Your bride should have a personal lubricant available in case you need to add some additional moisture. There are many brands, so let me break down the basics for you. They mostly come in water-based or silicone, with those having a different feel and lasting different time periods. I suggest you buy both to find out what you like. Popular store brands are K-Y, Wet, and Astroglide, but you can also find quality products online like Good Clean Love and my personal favorite, Sliquid. Another option altogether is coconut oil, which you can find in the health section of your store, and many couples swear by it.

Simply make sure you have something on hand, just in case. Even if you don’t need it that first night, you might want it later during the honeymoon or in your many, many opportunities to make love afterward.

Communicate with your bride. Whether it’s your large penis penetrating her or how you’re touching your bride, you should cultivate communication in the marriage bed by asking how things feel.

Now you don’t want to interrogate her, so don’t throw a barrage of questions at her constantly. But check in now and then, asking for feedback. Watch her reactions. Encourage her to speak up if something feels uncomfortable. Let her know that her pleasure matters to you.

That first time, as you enter her body, go slow and ask how she’s doing. Look, I know this will require an incredible amount of self-control on your part. Because at that point, everything in your body is going to be screaming, NOW! But I also believe that loving husbands are capable of such tenderness in this regard, and it will benefit you to check in with her at that point and see how she’s doing. Give her a chance to adjust her position, spread her vaginal lips open more, breathe out slowly to relax, and whatever else she needs to do to feel ready.

That said, some wives at this point don’t need all that. So if she simply responds, “I’m great. Go for it!” Then listen to your wise wife.

Basically, either way, listen to your wife. You can help her learn from the get-go to respond to her sexual sensations and feelings, and women who value their own pleasure in the marriage bed tend to be more enthusiastic partners in the long run.

Understand that she will be sore afterward. The next day and beyond, her vagina will likely feel sore. It’s not because you hurt her, but because she’s using muscles that didn’t get used before. It’s like she went to the gym and signed up for the Advanced Aerobics class. Think of it like Sex Boot Camp. (I’m going to get flak for saying that one, aren’t I?)

Be kind if she complains about soreness later. And understand she may need a little recuperation time. I’m talking a day or two maybe, because it really is like stretching new muscles, and the best way to make that not hurt long-term is to keep using the muscles. Most newlywed couples can engage in sex almost daily, or even multiple times in a day. Whether they do so is less dependent on their bodies and more dependent on attitudes, schedules, etc.

Intense pain is not okay. One last caveat: If your bride does experience extreme pain, that’s not normal. Some women do have physiological issues that prevent their bodies from cooperating with sexual intercourse. If she cannot engage that first night because it hurts too much, don’t push it. Be sexual in other ways. And when you can, take her to see her gynecologist to find out what’s going on and get answers to make her feel better.

Honestly, I think you’re going to have a marvelous wedding night! That first night together can be a beautiful time of exploring one another’s bodies and experiencing deeper intimacy than you’ve ever had before. Congratulations! Wishing you many blessed years of wedding bliss.

Wrap It Up for Hubby: 10 Christmas Gifts for Your Marriage Bed

Every year, I try to come up with Christmas gift ideas for hubby. I hope to suggest some less-obvious ideas, especially items that can be used to enhanced your sexual intimacy.

Here is this season’s 10 Christmas Gifts for Your Marriage Bed. Maybe you can find something to wrap up for you and your hubby!

10 Christmas Gifts for Your Marriage Bed

ADD AMBIANCE TO YOUR BEDROOM

1. Canopy. How about introducing a bed canopy? Those always look so romantic and sexy in historical bedrooms, like you two are hiding away in your own private retreat. Check out this classic canopy from Bed, Bath & Beyond:

Majesty Bed Canopy in Black

2. Light bulbs. Colored light bulbs are one of the best ways to add low lighting to your bedroom, the kind that gets you two in the mood. This is also a great way to lower the spotlight enough that you feel more comfortable baring it all for hubby. You can find them at your local hardware store or shop online. I think this one is particular pretty:

GE 25-Watt Incandescent A19 Stained Glass Light Bulb

3. Wall art. I bought a wall decal for our bedroom that we plan to put up in our bedroom (after we repaint over the holidays). I love the idea of putting positive messages and scripture on our walls, and I found a wonderful Song of Song reference through Etsy. Wouldn’t it be nice to have a message like this in your bedroom? From Sound Sayings.

4. Love Notes. How about trading love notes to spice up your romance? How about leaving one of those notes for your beloved in the shower? Yes, you can. Aqua Love Notes comes with waterproof pad and two colored pencils you can mount and use in your shower.

Aqua Love Notes - Waterproof Notepad

h5. Signal. Looking for a unique way to give your lover the go-ahead for tonght? Why not use the bat signal? I suspect most hubbies would love to get this signal to step up their superhero power and rock their wife’s world tonight. Cape optional. From Hammacher Schlemmer.

Mini Batman Bat-Signal

6. GameThe Dating Divas specialize in activities and games for your marriage. For those Do It Yourself-ers, check out this fun Spin the Bottle game. This looks like something even I — craft-challenged person that I am — could make!

Candice-SpintheBottle-Pinterest

DRESS FOR INTIMACY

7. Socks. Did you know that people tend to climax more easily with their socks on? No, seriously. It was a surprise finding in sexual research. So help your man keep his feet warm and his marriage bed hot with some personalized socks. Etsy has about gazillion options for you to choose a great pair of socks he’d enjoy and add your own romantic or sexy message. Maybe something like Let’s knock socks?

Personalised Black Socks Any Text - Personalized Text In Lots of Colours - Great Birthday Present -

8. Fun undies. Given the upcoming release of the newest installment of Star Wars, I thought it would be super-easy to find boxer briefs that actually said “The Force Awakens.” I mean, come on — that’s kinda funny, right? But I had no luck.

You could opt for Star Wars undies or maybe something more direct, like these fun undies he can swagger into the bedroom wearing. From Webundies.com.

9. Lingerie. I have a friend who used to work at Frederick’s of Hollywood. She explained that the same scenario was played out before and after holidays multiple times: Hubby comes in looking for lingerie for his wife, has no idea what size she is, selects something he thinks is sexy, and after the holiday wife shows up to return said lingerie with words like, “I don’t know what he was thinking.” I can shed light on that: Your husband was thinking he wanted see his wife looking sexually interested, and lingerie signals that.

So oddly enough, one of the best things many wives can get their husband is sexy lingerie for themselves. Find something that stretches your comfort zone a little, but not too much. Those of you who are worried, I promise you can find items that look suggestive without looking slutty. For example, here’s a lovely nightgown from Macy’s, in plus size. (I didn’t want to post anything more suggestive here, but you can find plenty of options.)

nightgown

GIVE THE BEST GIFT

10. You. Probably the best thing you could wrap up for your hubby is yourself. Make a big, beautiful bow and place it on your body. Wear it over lingerie or just by itself. And then let hubby unwrap his favorite present. Because, after all, he has been a good boy this year, hasn’t he? Instructions can be found here.

Picture of Make your own Giant Decorative Bow - easily!

Here are some of my previous posts with gift ideas for your spouse:

10 Sexy Stocking Stuffers for Your Husband

What Does Your Wife Want for Christmas?

10 Sexy, Manly Items for Your Hubby’s Christmas Stocking

13 Sexy Valentine’s Gifts from Your Grocery Store

8 Cool Valentine’s Gifts for Your Hot Hubby

8 Sweet Valentine’s Gifts for Your Spicy Wife

What’s on your wish list this year? Any great holiday gift ideas for your hubby?

Adiós, So Long & Get Gone, Insecurities! with Beverly Weeks

Not only is Beverly Weeks a wonderful advocate for wives, marriage, and marital intimacy, she’s also a gal who cracks me up. If you want to find a wife who fits, “Strength and honor are her clothing, and she can laugh at the time to come” (Proverbs 31:25), look no further than Beverly.

Married to her husband Rick for 20 years, they experienced great struggle in their marriage and 03redemptive healing from God. Now they reach out to other couples, along with their ministry partners, through the Intentionally Yours website and marriage events. I hope you enjoy Beverly’s authenticity, humor, and godly message about losing our insecurities and feeling beautiful.

Adiós, So Long & Get Gone, Insecurities! with Beverly Weeks

I can hear his heart pounding as he pulls me closely to his bare chest. His hands begin to caress my cheek and glide through my brown wavy hair. He pulls my body closer to him, and for a brief moment we embrace. I can feel the sweat on my husband’s brow as his fingers begin to crawl up my back like a brown recluse spider. I know without a doubt that there ain’t but one thing on my man’s mind, and honey child, I can tell you at that moment he’s NOT thinking about Christmas shopping with me at T.J. Maxx!

With great hesitancy, I crawl under the bed sheets in an outfit that seems to have less material than the average Kleenex tissue. For the life of me, I can’t figure out how I even managed to slip it on my imperfect figure without displacing a hip or causing a serious neck or back injury.  I lean over to whisper in his ear what I have been agonizing in my mind. Anxiously anticipating what I am about to say, my husband sits up in bed. Without regard, I recklessly blurt it out…Honey, hold on just a minute, we gotta turn the lights out!”

My insecurities and low self-esteem begin to attack my mind. I imagine that my husband’s eyes are drawn to the stretch marks, the extra tummy fold. There’s been no time to apply the fake tanning spray, for my day has been consumed with laundry, work, and two high school basketball games. What if he is blinded because my bare legs are glowing in the dark? It is then that I don’t feel pretty enough or feel that I even come close to measuring up to the beautiful women on the magazine covers or the billboards.

For a moment, a horrifying, hilarious thought comes to my mind. Just what if, I am on top and lose my balance and fall down. I could possibly squeeze the life out of him! My neighbor is a funeral home director, and I envision the chuckles and what would be said as our friends and family walk by my husband’s funeral procession. “Here lies Rick…Poor fellow he never had a chance. He was smothered to death!”

I lie there frustrated, disappointed, knowing that once again I have allowed my large-sized insecurities (LIES straight from the enemy and the pits of Hell) to become a hindrance to a passionate night of intimacy with my husband.

Have mercy. Somebody pass me a jar of crunchy peanut butter and a chocolate bar. I am about to step all over my hot pink polka dot painted toes, and I’m gonna need a pedicure by the time I am finished!

You see, for many years I found myself trapped, in the bondage to low self-esteem and my insecurities.

I allowed my pessimistic attitude and negative thoughts to take up free rent space in my mind and dictate my performance or willingness to make out with my husband in the bedroom. It was not until God restored our marriage many years ago and began to do a healing work in me emotionally and physically that I was able to recognize this. I began to cry out, Father God, I need you to set me free! Heal my mind. Help me to enjoy this intimate gift of pleasure with my husband as you intended.

There were days that I would have to look in the mirror and say, GOD, help me to change my attitude. I want to love the lady in the mirror the way that You do.

I want to love the lady in the mirror the way that You do. - Beverly Weeks Click To Tweet

My friend, I found my healing in the cross. I began to read God’s Word and learn His perspective of beauty and how I am fearfully and wonderfully made. I began to repent of my negative attitude which among other things was filled with coveting what other women had. Maybe you can relate to what I am talking about… If only I had her legs, her waist, her eyes, her hiney… If this makes any sense, I had to get rid of my toxic victim attitude and rise above my self-pity! I began to confess to GOD that I needed healing and some permanent fixing!

I John 1:9 says, “If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and willing to forgive our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness. “  

God has done amazing things in my marriage and for our sex lives! The chains have fallen, and I am learning to enjoy this great gift that God intended for marriage. My husband looks at me like I am a precious diamond. He holds me in his arms, and there have been times that I have even seen a tear fall from his eyes. He pulls me close, and the first thing he says to me is honey, you are so beautiful.

You see when my spouse sees me, he does not see the flaws and imperfections. He sees me through the eyes of his Master, He sees me as a beautiful daughter of the King! At the same time I am recognizing that my husband is my perfect gift from God.

What insecurities are you battling with? I want you to know that there is healing made available to you, through the power of Jesus.

Beverly WeeksBeverly Weeks is an energetic, Jesus-loving “girl-next-door.”  Her inspiring, transparent messages are seasoned with a little laughter, candid real life struggles, and filled with Biblical truths. Often times people who hear her speak say the same thing: “She’s just so real.”  An evangelist at heart, she has a love for her audience that is fully evident both on and off stage.

Beverly is a trained Biblical Counselor and Executive Director of a Pregnancy Resource Center. Her greatest joy is being a wife to Rick, and mom to her two children Tyler and Macy.

Blog/Website: Dialog with Beverly through her blog post, and follow her speaking schedule. She would love to meet you at an event in your area. www.intentionallyyours.org

Booking Beverly to Speak: If you are interested in booking Beverly for a speaking engagement, beverly@intentionallyyours.org. Available For: Church Events, Women’s Conferences & Retreats, Marriage Conferences & Retreats, Banquets, Seminars, Pregnancy Care Center Events.

Hey, wait a second, who wrote this? I’m just a simple southern girl, tee-totally in love with my Jesus! I love chocolate, peanut butter with bananas, alfredo sauce, shopping, and consignment shops. Did I say I LOVE chocolate!