Comments on: What Does Your Marital Intimacy Say about Your Faith?

By: Karen R.

Karen R. — Tue, 02 Feb 2016 02:51:50 +0000

In reply to Amanda.

I am so sorry that this happened to you. You didn’t deserve abuse. Not at all.
I thank God for this blog and I think it serves to provide a Biblical and godly view of sex that is healing and freeing. I am praying for you and that the therapeutic relationship provide healing for you so that you can experience all the joys of intimacy that are available to you and that you deserve. I totally resonated with your statement, “I am broken….” We are all whether we are aware of it or not. 😉 Blessings to you.

By: J

Mon, 01 Feb 2016 18:53:47 +0000

In reply to Jim. That's a good point. Thanks, Jim.

By: Jim

Jim — Mon, 01 Feb 2016 17:50:33 +0000

A wise woman once said: “Show me a couple’s love life and I’ll show you the state of their marriage.”

It was her way of saying that couples who make love to each other on a frequent basis are more likely to have less personal strife between themselves. Oh, they’ll still have disagreements, but the fights won’t be as mean and spiteful as a couple who have stopped being sexually intimate with one another. I only know this from personal experience.

What I find sadly ironic about this topic is that there are many spouses, both man and woman, who withhold sex in the marriage because the other person just isn’t spiritual enough. Their argument being that if they just prayed more, and got more involved in the church, then I’d be more willing to make love to them.

By: a. nony

a. nony — Mon, 01 Feb 2016 17:14:37 +0000

In reply to Lynn. Yes! We do often thank God for the good gift of sex when we pray before our meals, and ask for His help when things aren't going as we'd like.

By: J

Sun, 31 Jan 2016 16:04:10 +0000

In reply to Lynn. Beautiful.

By: Lynn

Lynn — Sun, 31 Jan 2016 13:57:24 +0000

I have sometimes given an outburst of thanks to God when I’ve been overcome with love for my husband – I think it startled him the first time. This morning, at our grace before breakfast, my husband gave thanks for our food and for our morning activity that had just preceded. This seems perfectly right to me!

By: J

Sun, 31 Jan 2016 00:53:48 +0000

In reply to Amanda. I'm so sorry this ever happened to you. So painful and wrong. I will be having some scriptures soon that deal with the ache of our sexual pasts.

By: J

Sun, 31 Jan 2016 00:52:15 +0000

In reply to Ruth Buezis. Thanks, Ruth!

By: Ruth Buezis

Ruth Buezis — Sat, 30 Jan 2016 21:15:58 +0000

I love your series on memorizing scripture and applying it to marriage and I LOVE this post. Thank you for all that you do.
Ruth

By: Amanda

Amanda — Sat, 30 Jan 2016 17:21:41 +0000

Hmmmm…I have trouble with intimacy and sexuality because of sexual abuse. That is something that was done to me, not something I wanted to do. So I find it hard to say that a lack of faith is the cause for the problems in our marriage. I do have trouble trusting God though because I have trust issues due to the abuse, I cant fully trust my husband and I cant fully trust God because I’m afraid to be vulnerable. I guess I’m scared I might get hurt again…but our marriage is strong and we are very content with each other, even though we dont have sex. For two years I have burdened myself with guilt and shame for not being able to be a “good wife”. I have read so many articles on marriage and sex and I know what the bible says. But through all this I have been reducing myself to this one thing. There is more to me than sex. There is more to my marriage than sex. I am broken and I cant fix myself. All I can do is pray and go to therapy. I cant force myself, that would be abuse all over again. My husband is wonderful, he loves me like Christ loves the church. He loves me inspite of my brokeness, inspite of having to live without sex. Like Michael loves Sarah in Redeeming Love. I hate myself for not “being how I should be”, but I dont want to hate myself any longer. I will never heal if I do. I think God wants me to accept myself the way I am and trust Him to fix everything when the time is right instead of me beating myself up all the time. So I think we can have marriages that shine before others inspite of brokeness. You dont need sex for that. My husband loving me so much even though he cant sleep with me is a perfect picture of the love of Christ.