Comments on: Enjoying Sexual Intimacy While Dealing with Infertility

By: D.S.

D.S. — Wed, 24 Feb 2016 15:07:57 +0000

In reply to Leigh. Very cool! I've never heard of NaPro technology. It won't work for me (no Fallopian tubes), but I know tons of people with unexplained infertility that may not know about it. Glad you commented!

By: Leigh

Leigh — Wed, 24 Feb 2016 13:39:20 +0000

Thank you for saying that you would mourn with us! It means so much to hear that. I often feel like I am expected to rejoice with all the pregnant mamas I know, but no one wants to walk with my in my sorrow. It is so painful. Intimacy can also begin to feel draining. I know that seems impossible for couples who can’t imagine having sex often to be draining, but when the problem centers around sex, it really can be…

Also, my heart goes out to all the women commenting here. I am one of you (22 cycles to conceive; my precious first pregnancy ended in miscarriage; now attempting to conceive again). I have PCOS and extremely low estrogen. If I can be so bold, I would like to encourage those experiencing infertility to look into NaProTechnology. It has higher success rates that IVF and is a lot cheaper! And I say this with no judgment, just a desire to let more couples know about this option.

NaPro takes an intensive review of hormones, cervical mucus, anatomy, etc. and seeks to address and return a woman’s fertility. IVF, in essence, skips over the causes of infertility. If you have ever been told you have unexplained infertility, your doctor is not knowledgeable enough in hormones and cervical mucus. Basically, when IVF came on the map in the late 70s, it dominated the medical field, and only a select number of doctors continued to research hormones and cervical mucus. They now have a clearer picture and can help couples achieve pregnancy without excluding sex.

By: Justme

Justme — Mon, 22 Feb 2016 21:59:23 +0000

In reply to Courtney. I hope you write a book one day on this subject. You worded it very well.

By: Happy Hour | The Romantic Vineyard

Happy Hour | The Romantic Vineyard — Fri, 19 Feb 2016 22:00:46 +0000

[…] Enjoying Sexual Intimacy While Dealing With Infertility<

By: J

Thu, 18 Feb 2016 21:26:21 +0000

In reply to Stormy. What a heart-rending story.

By: D.S.

D.S. — Thu, 18 Feb 2016 20:27:38 +0000

In reply to Ashley. That's actually my point exactly. Adoption is not a substitute for having a biological child, and it definitely shouldn't be viewed as a last resort. Adoption should be a priority of all Christians, not something that is offered to infertile people as their obligation or their substitute. My younger sister is adopted, and I find adoption to be a beautiful thing.

By: Stormy

Stormy — Thu, 18 Feb 2016 18:19:10 +0000

My husband and I had years of infertility. We did IUI and conceived our first baby only then to lose that baby through miscarriage. Then we did more fertility treatment. We were emotionally spent. So we shelved the treatment and started to try naturally. I had less than a .5% chance to get pregnant every month. It was stressful to keep romance alive when all you wanted was to bring home a baby. But i was determined to not pet our sex life suffer because of tue stress of infertility. After years of trying and hoping, we explored adoption and it wasn’t for us at the time. We decided that at that point in our lives, if we were to be childless, then we would continue to make a beautiful life with each other. It was hard to get to that point. To truly be ok. I wanted a baby so much and I spent so much time crying and mourning the life I imagined we would have. We knew God would bless us tremendously no matter what. We had a beautiful life. My husband always would tell me “we are a family” and that my husband wanted to be enough for me. So sometime in those years of waiting, i got to the point where i was completely ok with whatever happened. The Lord was good to us always. And we were shocked when we naturally conceived our son with no treatment! Unfortunately, he was stillborn when I was just a month and a half from my due date. He died and with him all of my dreams died too. He was so wanted after many long year . God performed a huge miracle in creating him and he was gone. That was the most difficult thing I have ever been through. To say goodbye to our son until we join him in Heaven . We knew we would want to have more children after that. I was no longer ok with being childless because I was a mom, just a mom with no baby in my arms. I missed my firstborn so much, but we both wanted more children. So we decided to try again once I was cleared from my doctor. We got pregnant again 3 months after our first son was stillborn. This time, we were lucky enough to give birth to a living baby boy who is now 4 years old. We wanted to try for another baby and had more infertility. We were now part of the world of secondary infertility, having infertility when you have a living child. We did minor fertility treatment and concieved our 3rd son about a year after we started trying (we actually concieved twins and lost one of the twins in my first trimester). We welcomed him home last summer. I made it a point to have fun while tying to get pregnant. I made sure that we would not let it get stale and boring. To continue to enjoy each other. Our journey to parenthood has not been what I dreamed it would have been all those years ago when we started. But no matter what, God has been faithful to comfort us and give us a clear direction. We had to lean on him so much over the years. But He is always constant and He always reminds me that no matter what, my husband and I are a team. We have been through the depths and I know that my relationship with God comes first and my relationship with my husband comes 2nd to that.

By: Ashley

Ashley — Thu, 18 Feb 2016 04:26:34 +0000

In reply to J. I don't think people should say "just adopt" like there is nothing to it. However, adoption is a wonderful thing. For a number of years it's been the way I would want to have children, rather than biologically. The book of James' description of pure religion includes caring for orphans. I think it's safe to say that adoption is very close to God's heart. Why does it have to be a very last resort?

By: Tom

Tom — Wed, 17 Feb 2016 18:24:06 +0000

In reply to J. Agreed; adoption is a wonderful choice. When we were unable to have any more biological children, God all but dropped a baby boy in our lap via adoption. I can't imagine my life without him now, but there were certainly a lot of additional concerns brought up that typically *don't* come up with biological children. It's not a decision to be taken lightly

By: J

Wed, 17 Feb 2016 16:18:09 +0000

I’ll just add one more comment to the adoption thread going through here. I have several friends who have adopted, and I am deeply moved by how they opened their homes to a non-biological child and made him/her their own beloved child. It is absolutely the right choice for some. And I love the idea that the church as a whole supports bringing children into godly homes, because our children are our biggest mission field.

That said, before trying to get pregnant my husband and I discussed what we would do if unable to conceive. We decided that if we couldn’t have children, we wouldn’t have children. I don’t believe that decision was outside God’s will, because we would have used our time and resources to support other efforts that reached out to children. I know couples who do this very thing — two couples spring right to mind who were childless themselves and taught wonderful Bible classes for children at their church for years and years.

Many couples who struggle will conceive, but some will not. It’s a tough and prayerful decision what to do next. I wholeheartedly believe in adoption, but I also believe that choice rests with husband and wife and God.