I like my religion just fine. It’s the one that says:

“Do to others as you would have them do to you.” Luke 6:31
“Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ.” Ephesians 5:21
“Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves, not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interests of the others.” Philippians 2:3-4
“Be devoted to one another in love. Honor one another above yourselves.” Romans 12:10
“In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself.” Ephesians 5:28
“Husbands, love your wives and do not be harsh with them.” Colossians 3:19

Maybe you should look at the whole Word of God instead of picking out one scripture you like — the one that puts you in charge. (“But many who are first will be last, and many who are last will be first.” Matthew 19:20)

Very interesting. I’ve started doing some research on this. I can’t recommend it yet, but I’m looking into it. Thanks, Sally!

Thanks for your response Ashley. No I haven’t thought of that. Something I will look into!

THANKYOU so very much a.nony! For your info and but especially for your prayers. And to everyone who has been so encouraging! It’s amazing to me how God continually works in my life to strengthen me day by day through His people. Even ones I don’t know. So THANKYOU and bless you each and every one.
It’s a long story and an even longer road my husband and I have travelled in our sex life. He has been patient, kind and supportive. I shall continue to search out how to improve our sex life hopefully till the day I die! Sign me,
Always content but will never stop seeking to improve our sex life!

As someone who has broken a 15 yr sex addiction this is not necessarily true. Porn feeds the sexual desire making you want it more. In a ‘Christian’ orientated marriage this is then handled by yourself or your wife. So it can cause massive issues, especially if you do not have as willing a wife as this one is. I can identify with the husband (although 20 yrs younger) as previously I could easily have sex 3-4 times a day (or in a row) if my wife let me.

Thankfully about 5 yrs ago my wife accused me of being a sex addict and after a lot of research I agreed and sorted it out. Both my wife and I have noticed a massive change in behaviour now my sex drive is no longer constantly being fed with porn. We still have sex issues in our marriage but at least the sex addiction isnt the excuse any more.

Second, this article drew my attention because I have the opposite issue… I’m high-drive and he’s low-drive and needs help from the blue pill. With honest communication we have learned how to pleasure each other as our bodies and desires inevitably change and remain somewhat unmatched, and my engine is definitely a lot slower in starting even though the desire remains. Vibrators and marital aids are helpful for women who may have difficulty with instant arousal. So, while her “plight” seems a dream come true for me… I can get how she feels used because it’s not a mutual thing and he seems not to be concerned with her pleasure (in her eyes… we do only have one side of the story). There does need to be communication and a middle ground for them both… even if she finds other ways than intercourse to pleasure him. Many women “give up” the pleasure because they don’t want to take too long or “burden” their husbands. They train their husbands to stop trying to give pleasure. The number one thing that changed my whole attitude about my marriage bed was telling my husband I’d never say no. Now I happen to be married to the kindest, most selfless man around, who at even a whiff of my discomfort or fatigue would not force his way… but I finally realized that the bonding was often more important than my peel-me-off=the-ceiling pleasure every time. So many wives in their 50s are experiencing empty and platonic marriages because they gave into flagging libidos and didn’t consider their husband’s sexual needs; or, are facing a cheating husband or one searching for a more willing partner. Not nice, I know. But if I were her I’d be searching for ways to get on the same page with her spouse, who still seems to still prefer her, and to express how she wants their bonding to be significant for them both, to ask him to give pleasure, to go outside the box. How long will a man want to be with an unwilling partner who just “takes it?” If as described this man is really so selfish and boorish, I don’t get how they’ve gotten 40 years in… I know change is not impossible but it won’t be easy. I was a wife who needed a new attitude (of submission and respect) to make her marriage better. I wish her the best and I pray she will desire her husband as he does her.

Extended foreplay.

MCARLINE, have you tried going to a naturopath? The one I goes to really digs down to the root issue, and has helped me with several things. Just an idea!