Thanks very much! I really appreciate your reply and sympathy.

Thanks for shedding light on this. I tend to write to wives more than husbands, so that’s why there’s more of that on my blog. But I agree wholeheartedly that this type of abuse happens — female on male — and it’s inexcusable.

By the way, when my boys were younger and I was looking for babysitters, many friends thought I was crazy to want male babysitters. Since I wanted my sons to have good male role models, I thought why wouldn’t I hire a quality, trusted young man to watch them? Especially since I knew someone molested by a female babysitter as a child, so I knew it didn’t just go one way.

I’m so sorry for what you endured. Stories like this break my heart — that never should have happened to you. May God be with you and heal you in every way.

I’m one of them.

I was molested on a camping trip by a family ‘friend’, a single man. I kept that to myself for years.

While my mother didn’t touch me, at least that I remember, she never allowed me any physical privacy until I was an adult and even tried to watch me after that. I clearly remember her watching me in the shower well into my teen years and commenting that I had a good body. How creepy is that? And I saw it as okay.
That wasn’t the only abuse I suffered from her as a child.

Since I was a people-pleaser who couldn’t say ‘NO’, I was twice sexually assaulted while serving in the armed forces. I was even asked if I enjoyed it. Note that she, the female sergeant who assaulted me, was punished for what she did. For years, I suffered flashbacks which were often horrific and took a long time to get over. It’s been thirty years and I still don’t like to think about it. At least, I no longer blame myself for what she did.

Sometimes sex is not easy at all. My wife is fortunately, understanding.

I really should stop reading social media about this since it rarely talks about female on male sexual abuse. At least, I’ve not seen a lot. Not a lot of positive portrayal of male sexuality.

Thanks for your blog. I sometimes take a while to work up the courage to read a post if it’s too difficult like this one was. Thanks for discussing this.

Thank you so much 🙂

Thank you so much! I guess the biggest problem for me is, that abuse made me feel like I am only lovable if I give a man sex. I wanted to be loved so desperately and I gave myself to many many men. And I saw such an ugly side of men and it haunts me so much. Sex has only been about pretending. Gritting my teeth while it was being done to me. Feeling used and dirty after. Over and over again, for years. When I became a christian I stopped having sex, met my husband and we married. I hoped that somehow God would make everything work but it has been a tough ride full of tears and mental illness (depression, psd, anxiety)…my husband is an angel for walking through this with me, I really hope that one day I can let my guard down and share true intimacy with him.

Thank you 🙂

I don’t think anyone here is saying that it’s just prayer and intention that gets you over this. Even those of us who have not walked in those shoes feel deep, abiding sympathy for the victims of abuse. It is a very terrible thing. But I personally know women who have, though seeking continued help and healing, moved from a place of open wounds to scars. I pray, pray, pray that abuse survivors do not give up.

Thank you for your empathy and compassion, lulu10. I absolutely agree that abuse needs to stop. Immediately. Everywhere. Forever.

What a beautiful testimony!