I pray you’ll find answers and hope. Blessings!

Amanda wrote: “Sexual sin & temptation seem to hurt more than other sins.”

Eric sez: I want to mention the flip side to this, namely that all other sins hurt our sexual relationships as husbands and wives, and that hurt sexual relationships then lead to temptation and sexual sin. Importantly, this began with Adam & Eve’s response to the Tree of the Knowledge of Good and Evil.

However, those who blame eating the forbidden fruit for sex are dead wrong. They have unwittingly fallen into the Greek philosophy of Gnosticism, the heresy that the body is essentially evil and only spirit (or soul/psyche) is good. I once heard a radio preacher assert that when Adam and Eve made aprons of fig leaves they were trying to hide from God. But the Bible seems to say they were hiding from each other (Genesis 3:7). Hiding from God came later, when they hid in the bushes (Genesis 3:8). When we sin, we discover first that we’ve hurt each other. Only later do we realize that our sin is also against God.

Adam and Eve were created naked and told to have sex, and that this was “very good” (Genesis 1:28, 31). From the beginning, therefore, our first parents played naked in the Garden and made love, no doubt multiple times daily on a bed of moss in the moonlight. This may have gone on for months or even years, as God miraculously prevented Eve’s conception until after they’d sinned (see Genesis 3:16, “I will greatly multiply . . . thy conception . . .”).

I imagine that, feeling guilty toward Adam, Eve glanced at the part of her hub’s body with which they became “one flesh” and crossly said, “cover that thing up”; then she did the same. Thus the fig leaf aprons. Incidentally, the King James Version’s translation as “aprons” is the best rendering of the Hebrew text. Modern versions that say “tunics” miss the point.

So, to return to my earlier assertion: any time a Christian husband or wife sins, he/she hurts the sexual relationship with his/her spouse. Absolutely. In the months I’ve been reading J’s blog, again and again I’ve noticed that wives and husbands complain about difficulties with enjoying sex. Or the hubs seems more interested in porn than in giving his naked wife some hot loving in bed (or out under the stars, for that matter). So the best principle that I know of for improving one’s marriage is to keep short accounts with each other regarding sin, no matter how small or insignificant it may seem. Confession and forgiveness toward one another and repentance toward God is paramount. This works every time!

With point #1, I understand what you’re saying. I’m not equating sinful lust with PMS. Rather, how visual some men are and how that can tempt them to lust. I don’t believe it’s lust to have an automatic reaction to a pretty woman, but rather to dwell on that thought, even foster it. Which sadly, some men do — and that’s sin (Matthew 5:28). Likewise, for many women PMS causes body changes that can tempt them toward other sins — like anger, malice, slander (Colossians 3:8, Ephesians 4:31), fits of rage (Galatians 5:20). I like a little grace when I’m feeling bad and on edge, but ultimately it’s my issue to control. Just like yes, indeed, if he lets it go to lust, that’s his sin. I just think it’s good to be in each other’s corner when we’re struggling but wanting to do the right thing.

And yes on #2, I try to present both sides on my blog. But in all honesty, I hear far more often from wives upset that their husbands are visual than the other way around. So that’s what I addressed here. I still believe men are more visual, but that women can be visual too.

Thanks so much for your comment, Amanda!

Oh, that had nothing to do with sex. My husband doesn’t see the mess around our house the way I do, so — not surprisingly — he’s not as motivated to clean it up. I used think it was intentional or lazy, but it’s not; he really doesn’t see it. I’ve learned to get over that.