I have many other posts about how to talk to your spouse about sexual issues, but ultimately you gotta sit down outside the bedroom and tell him that the status quo is unacceptable. Explain why it’s so important to your sense of intimacy that you also experience great pleasure and sexual satisfaction. Let him know that you need mutuality in your experience. And then follow-through with some boundaries, if necessary: “I’m eager to engage in sex with you, but if I feel like you’re merely using my body, I won’t be able to continue. I need us to be together in sex, not separately pleasuring ourselves.” What’s tough sometimes is staying calm and firm, while also expressing how much you love and desire your husband. Those two need to stay in balance.

Pray for wisdom before you start any such discussion. And search around my website a bit for some other ideas. Honestly, with 600 posts, it’s a little hard for me to suggest which particular ones, but see what you can find. Saying a prayer for you myself. Blessings!

So very true! Thanks for chiming in.

Well, her sister wanted to take us both out to eat. At a bar & grill. So we went. The din in that place was deafening, but we managed to find a table on their patio, so I enjoyed it. Well, sorta. I’d rather been home; I hate crowds, and I wanted sweetie ALONE. We got to bed around midnight, both tuckered out. 80 years will do that to you.

But by three AM, after a little spooning both of us were in the mood. I’ll cut the story here, except to say, that “don’t wanna” doesn’t necessarily mean “wait til tomorrow night.”

Eric

Thank you.