Well said.

I see what you’re saying. I’m Reformed myself, and I reject the concept of “the One” or “Soul Mates” because of that theology. From God’s perfect, eternal, outside-of-time perspective, he knew and determined and planned from eternity past all the events of my life, including the circumstances around my meeting the man who would eventually become my husband. From that end, there was no one else for me. But the other side of that coin is that, from my frail, time-limited perspective, there were in my life any number of men whom I could have married and had a godly, long, fruitful marriage. Christians throughout history have acknowledged this mysterious compatibility of God’s viewpoint and sovereignty and our limited perspective and actions — it’s even got a name, “Compatibilism.”

What I object to, as a Reformed person, is the mystical notions underpinning the idea of “the one” or “soul mates.” God’s will is accomplished through MEANS, like being set up on a blind date, or responding to someone’s email on eHarmony — even means like input from friends, butterflies in the stomach, attraction, etc. It isn’t accomplished through trying to “discern” whether or not someone is “the one” in some mystical way.

In other words, my objection to the concept has nothing to do with a rejection of the idea that GOD has sovereignly determined my marriage, but a rejection of the idea that he is obligated (or even likely) to communicate to someone that a particular person is “the one” BEFORE marriage, because I reject the idea that our actions are dictated to us by God in some mystical way. As Matt Chandler has said before, the way you know someone is “the one” is that you’re married to them.

I have seen too many younger folks moan and worry about whether or not so-and-so is “the one,” rather than actually having a look at so-and-so’s character, godliness, suitability for being a husband/wife, attractiveness, etc. It’s not our job to worry about those things. It’s our job to trust that God will use our (hopefully obedient!) choices to guide us.

Yeah, I agree with affair-resistant, but not affair-proof.

Some say 5 things wife to do to affair proof your marriage.That’s not a guarentee.There are blind spots.if you do the 5 and still there is an affair,then what

Humanity is more complicated than that.

Do we dump a child on the street or adopt them out because they didn’t turn out the way we hoped they would? No, we love them as our child and raise them with the best of our abilities to help them reach their true potential.
Shouldn’t we extend the same courtesy and love to our spouse?

Sexual Intimacy solutions?
You don’t add spice to an open wound. Healing needs to occur first.

Yeah, this. God won’t stop us from anything because we have free will, but I do believe, in His mercy, He’ll give us warnings or nudges

That’s actually funny ?

Thanks for being bold and honest. You’ve saved many married persons from much heartache just by this article.

God bless you.

Because I think the terminology in our culture already means one thing, and trying to adopt it for another doesn’t work well for most. Sounds like we’re debating semantics, rather than the actual concept.

Yes, but that’s my point. I know the Greek origin of “soul mates” and the idea that Zeus split people in two and we wander around looking for our other half, and I know what pop culture means by the phrase, but rather than reject it I would prefer to redeem the term “soul mate.” I think it is a true and wonderful thing that God will sovereignly directs to the person best suited to help us be more like Jesus. Why wouldn’t we want to promote that idea and that view of the “purpose” or marriage?