Comments on: What’s So Great about “Shooting Blanks”?

By: J

Sat, 28 Jan 2017 16:45:56 +0000

In reply to Lara.

I’m so glad this worked well for you. Your house must have been a delight with so many blessings around! And what you point is certainly a consideration. We should think about all the options of the future, possibilities we don’t know might happen.

However, I will say that if I had died, and my husband had considered remarriage, he would have upfront told that woman that he did not desire to have more children. And if the scenario were reversed, I would have done the same (because this womb was closed after two kids, no matter who came knocking). My point being it certainly isn’t something that a spouse should pressure the other into doing, when that spouse isn’t ready to say no to that in the future (especially if something drastically changed), but oftentimes both spouses are quite sure that neither desires to have more children.

Thanks for your comment!

By: Lara

Lara — Sat, 28 Jan 2017 15:57:31 +0000

My husband’s first wife passed away from cancer at 43. Three months time from realizing she was sick to planning the funeral. He was left with 5 children. When we met I was 28 and had never been married and very much wanted children of my own. I immediately wondered with 5 kids if he had been “fixed” . Thankfully he had not been! I went on to become his wife and mother to his other children ( the youngest being 5 when we married). We have had 5 of our own together. Children are such a blessing! I would implore women to not ask this of their husbands .. you do not know what life will hold. A woman only has so many years of fertility anyway but a man is fertile till he dies . Your decision could affect an entire other family not even formed yet as well as your own. Limiting who would be willing to be a mother to possibly young children if she has to give up her personal desires to give birth. Or limiting your husband’s search for healing from such a loss as your death in another loving marriage with someone possibly younger than you or he is currently.

By: Eliza

Eliza — Thu, 08 Sep 2016 05:20:48 +0000

In reply to MJ. A friend of mine's husband also had the procedure done, but got pregnant after a 'test run' ;-) I would definitely recommend getting the 'all clear' from your Dr before having unprotected sex!

By: Salina

Salina — Sat, 03 Sep 2016 16:32:01 +0000

I am all aboard the vasectomy train! Lol! But in all seriousness, it was the best decision for my husband and me. We have two little girls. I got pregnant with my first at 32. It was an uncomplicated pregnancy, doctor even said textbook pregnancy. Sure, ok. Labor and delivery a completely different story. Extremely traumatic for me and I know contributed to ppd. I had it bad for almost a year. We had really considered her being the only child. After about 15 months, with thought and prayer, really felt it in my heart to have another. So we got pregnant a second time, again, uncomplicated pregnancy but I was in a lot of pain through the end. Praise God though that labor and delivery of her was a breeze! God knew I needed it. We knew that 2 was going to be it for us. I do absolutely believe children are a blessing but I also know my limits. So the fact that my husband said, hey, I’m going to take on this responsibility of contraception, really lifted a weight off my shoulder. I did not want to do hormonal bc for the remainder of my reproductive years.
So as many have pointed out, it’s not a one size fits all type deal, but it certainly was the best choice for our family.

By: Tony

Tony — Tue, 30 Aug 2016 21:39:08 +0000

In reply to J.

My daughter is now 17, almost 18 and now lives with me most of the time.

You just have to be the best dad you can be and hope your child will make good choices.

Already accepted to her first choice college. Will graduate high school with both high school diploma and her Associates degree, so a good head start on the BA and then grad school.

By: J

Tue, 30 Aug 2016 10:44:30 +0000

In reply to Bob Dierdorf. :)

By: Anonymous

Anonymous — Tue, 30 Aug 2016 03:34:40 +0000

My hubby had an awful time with his vasectomy. The first side was easy just a snip, no big deal. The second side was not. He lifted weights in high school and college and the urologist said that causes torsion of the vessels which made it almost impossible to get to the area he needed to cut. He ended up taking his testicle out of his scrotum and the procedure took almost 2 hours. He was in a lot of pain for almost a week and since has had some issues with swelling. Everything works fine but I think psychologically it changed something for him. He makes comments about being “neutered” and not good for anything in that department anymore. I’ve tried to tell him there is no visible difference but he isn’t sold. Maybe because of the trauma?? The only difference I notice is I don’t have to deal with birth control anymore, we can have sex ad lib and maybe a little less fluid when he ejaculates.

By: Bob Dierdorf

Bob Dierdorf — Tue, 30 Aug 2016 03:31:35 +0000

In reply to Brent. Ditto to Brent. Understanding better how the female mind and feelings work, has caused me to do some personal re-evaluation and make adjustments necessary to better intimacy of mind, heart, and body. Thanks to you and all the women who have been giving us men a good education.

By: J

Tue, 30 Aug 2016 01:22:08 +0000

In reply to Tony. My heart goes out to you with your situation. I have a friend whose wife left him and took their three kids, and it was devastating to him to lose that daily contact with his children. I pray that you can still be involved as a father, find ways to heal, and pursue the best for your life. The God I know is a God of comfort, and I long for His people to be there for you in this difficult time. Blessings.

By: J

Tue, 30 Aug 2016 01:11:03 +0000

In reply to RC.

I’ve talked to a lot of spouses about this procedure, and found very few who had issues. I’m not doubting the American Urological Association statistics at all, but if you Google about health issues, be prepared to find all kinds of stuff — some supported, some not. And oftentimes it’s the people who had issues that are most motivated to complain online.

But I agree that anyone considering permanent contraception should discuss health risks and potential side effects fully with their doctor. It’s always advisable to make a well-considered choice.