Monthly Archives: October 2016

When I Went from Anonymity to Transparency

The Christian Marriage Bloggers Association, of which I’m a member, has a monthly blog challenge from time to time. For the month of October, the challenge is to write a post related to a specific picture:


Isn’t that beautiful? The photo was taken by Kate Aldrich Photography. Kate and her husband Brad are also members of CMBA and blog at One Flesh Marriage.

Looking at that picture, I considered several possible topics: the exclusivity of marriage,  private moments between husband and wife, the importance of flirting, the lyrics to “Singin’ in the Rain”… But what kept coming back to me is that photo represents who my husband and I were for about three years on this blog.

When I began writing Hot, Holy & Humorous in December 2010, I was anonymous. Just “J.” No last name, no picture, no identifiers about where I lived, no information about my kids. I had several reasons for starting out this way. Among them:

♦  My kids were young, and — while I was talking to them about sex in age-appropriate ways — I didn’t want my writing about sex to come back around to them in any way. I wasn’t sure how this ministry would go, and I thought if others knew I was writing about sex, it could be mentioned in front of my kids in awkward ways. My kids were a priority.

♦  My family and friends didn’t know the whole story. Since I was sharing pretty freely on my blog about my personal testimony, I didn’t know whether such information could get back to them. And I wasn’t ready to share how much I’d screwed up before marriage or how hard my marriage had been in the past.

♦  It gave me the freedom to talk more openly. At least that’s how I felt at the time — that not having to reveal exactly who I was allowed me to reveal a lot of why and how I was. That is, I could talk about why I thought sexual intimacy was so important, why wives needed to figure out this aspect of their marriage, how we can pursue God’s better design, and exactly how to make love (that is, specific tips).

♦  It gave me the freedom to fail. I didn’t think about this consciously, but looking back my choice to write anonymously allowed me to risk more. Not having my name and face attached to the website meant that, if the whole idea crashed and burned, I could quietly fold and walk away. But that also meant I might as well give it my all and see what happened, because my name wasn’t on it anyway.

At some point, these issues resolved. So I ripped off the anonymity mask and revealed me.

And some odd things happened. Odd things with great takeaways.

♦  Not only did friends and family not disapprove of me writing about sex, they supported me. There was a “good for you” attitude as people found out.

Indeed, one of the best takeaways has been that the older churchgoers, whom I looked up to and expected would judge me harshly for talking so openly about something considered too private in their generation to discuss … yeah, they’re the most supportive. I kid you not. The “little old ladies” I come across will grab my arm and say how proud they are of me. They’ve been around long enough to have heard just about everything, and they have the wisdom to recognize the importance of sex in marriage and the need for a biblical perspective.

Perhaps you speaking up about sex would be welcomed. Yes, there are naysayers. There always are. But what if you championed the need for godly sex discussions in your church? The response might be more positive than you anticipated.

You don’t have to talk about sex as much as I do or reveal anything personal. You could simply offer to lead a small group study based on Intimacy Revealed, bring Sheila Gregoire’s Girl Talk to your church, or facilitate an Awaken-Love video class. You might discover, as I did, that people recognize the need and are glad someone is speaking up.

♦  My transparency beget others’ transparency. Once people knew I had spoken up about this subject, they spoke up too. People became more open with me about their own struggles, or people they knew who were struggling, or their own testimonies of how God worked in this area of their lives. I even received questions about particular situations and was happy to be a resource for those I know and love.

Putting myself out there freed others to do the same. There was this sense of relief that we could just be honest and say, “This sex stuff isn’t always easy.” But my story and my ministry conveyed that there are answers. And that was a hopeful message.

Maybe being transparent would help others become transparent too. It’s quite possible we’ve manufactured this worry that we’ll be left dangling out there alone if we tell our story. As if revealing something personal about ourselves will make the whole room of fellow believers shut down.

Yet admitting where we struggle, and sharing our stories of coming through hardship to victory, often opens up hearts and minds. Ephesians 4:25 says, “So then, putting away falsehood, let all of us speak the truth to our neighbors, for we are members of one another” (NRSV). We might end up paving the way for more honesty in our churches and friendships. And from there, help one another to become more godly in our lives and our marriages.

♦  I got to interact more with my readers. Once I revealed myself, I got to reveal even more about myself. I posted pictures on Facebook, shared specific things going on in my life, and felt a greater sense of community with Hot, Holy & Humorous followers.

I’ve always believed in the importance of community to one’s individual faith. Yes, I know some churches have damaged their members in various ways (and if you’ve had that kind of experience, I’m so sorry). However, we were never meant to walk this journey alone. From the moment God said to Adam, “It is not good for the man to be alone” (Genesis 2:18), to the angel declaring, “I am a fellow servant with you and with your brothers and sisters who hold to the testimony of Jesus,” in Revelation 2:10, it’s clear we are supposed to be walking in faith with others. We should seek out encouragement and opportunities to serve fellow believers.

Opening yourself up can build a community of faith. Too often, people in churches are privately hurting, feel that no one cares, and eventually duck out the door — with disappointment or even despair that others were not there for them. But when churches I’ve attended knew what was going on, most truly wanted to help. Indeed, if you share with one person and their response is not helpful, go to someone else. Seek out fellow Christians who walk alongside you and support you in your faith and your marriage.

We’re called to “rejoice with those who rejoice; mourn with those who mourn” (Romans 12:15). So share your joys and your sorrows. Be open, and let others be open with you. Every best friend I have is someone I can talk to about matters of faith, and they are for me, for my marriage, for my relationship with God. I’m thrilled that so many of my readers take that same approach toward me — as I do with them.

How transparent are you with fellow believers? What positive effects does transparency have among Christians?

Be a Giver, Not a Taker

On Saturdays, I’ve been talking about specific verses and passages in the Bible, in hopes that we will learn and memorize more scripture to equip us in our lives and specifically our marriages.

In Acts 20:35, the apostle Paul refers back to something Jesus said, which isn’t recorded elsewhere. Not surprising, since Jesus surely said much more than what’s recorded in the Gospel accounts. Here’s that second half of that verse: “…remembering the words the Lord Jesus himself said: ‘It is more blessed to give than to receive.’ “

I’m betting you’ve heard that one before. Parents often use the better to give than receive line to make a kid surrender part of his spending money to the church collection plate or to share the bigger piece of pie with his sibling. But, not using it as a hammer, there’s certainly a lot of truth here — more blessed to give than to receive.

Be a Giver, Not a Taker: "...REMEMBERING THE WORDS THE LORD JESUS HIMSELF SAID: 'IT IS MORE BLESSED TO GIVE THAN TO RECEIVE.' "Admittedly, when it comes to sexual intimacy, I’m not always sure about this maxim. When the focus is on my pleasure, I’m sort of wrapped up in that joy of that moment that I think receiving is pretty darn good. But when I look more broadly at our sex life, I know the blessings that come from a giving nature.

We can truly enjoy the pleasure we bring to our husband, from the small affections we express to the shuddering climax we evoke from our beloved. There’s so much to enjoy from being a giver, not a taker:

  • The sly smile on his face when you offer him a look-see of your intimate places.
  • The excitement that sizzles under his skin when you suggest a new sexual activity or old one you both enjoy.
  • The improved mood of man who knows he’s loved in every way by his wife.
  • The confidence he feels in his abilities as a good husband and lover.
  • The sexual satisfaction that helps to keep his heart and mind focused on the good thing he’s got waiting at home.
  • The kid-in-a-candy-factory expression on his face during some great foreplay or right after you’ve made love.
  • The knowledge that you are following God’s design for sexual intimacy in your marriage.

Take that attitude into your marriage this week, and into your marital bedroom: It is more blessed to give than receive. What can you give your husband that would make him happy and you blessed?

And speaking of giving…

If you were here in September, you know that I announced this great giveaway with lots of goodies and the rules and blah, blah, blah. But then, my entire month was thrown into a tailspin. Long story short: My father died. The event of his death, though not the timing, was expected, and it was a positive goodbye to a life well-lived. But it did reek major havoc with my calendar.

At one moment of surrender, I said to myself, The giveaway is not happening this month. Some of the personal pressure I was feeling lifted from my shoulders, and I decided I’d reschedule when my life was a little more predictable.

So I’m rebooting! The giveaway starts today and will run through the month of November. It is indeed more blessed to give than receive, and I feel very blessed to have these items as part of my giveaway:

Sept 2016 Giveaway 1

Sept 2016 Giveaway 2

Total value = approximately $200! And here are the rules:

Hot, Holy, and Humorous 3D CoverThe giveaway is open to U.S. and Canadian residents only. (Sorry, international followers, I just can’t ship that far!) Find copies of my book in your local bookstore. It’s usually shelved somewhere in Christian Life: Marriage.

To Enter Once: Snap a picture of yourself holding the book in the bookstore and email it to j [at] hotholyhumorous [dot] com, identifying where the photo was taken (bookstore, city, state).

To Enter Twice: Snap that picture, email it to me, and include express permission for me to post it on social media (Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest). I will not include a name unless you want me to do so, but I would like to include location.

To Enter Three Times: Snap a picture of yourself buying the book at the cashier and holding the book and your purchase receipt, send it to me, and you’ll be entered three times.

That’s it. Send me the photo anytime up through November 30, and I’ll randomly draw a winner the first week of December. If you win, you’ll receive the package just in time to wrap it up and put it under the Christmas tree for your spouse! (And don’t tell me you’ve already done all your Christmas shopping, or I might have to throw tomatoes at you instead. 😉 )

I’m excited to see where my book has shown up and to blessedly give away a great prize to one lucky reader.

40 Ways to Initiate Sex with Your Husband

Sometimes we want to give our sex intimacy in marriage a boost, but we don’t quite know how to get things going. As women, we can have an even harder time initiating sex, because it feels so … awkward.

But there are so many ways to let your husband know you want to make love — tonight. And I’ve put together a list of 40!

Before I begin, I want to give a caveat to the high-drive wives out there. Some of you are just a bit more charged up than your husband, but if you can get things going, he’ll be right there with you. If that’s you, most of these suggestions will work.

Other high-drive wives have to put more effort to get their guy on board, in which case the more direct forms of sexual initiation are more likely to result in success.

And some of you high-drive wives have unwilling husbands. If you’re in this last group, I’d suggest skipping this post and reading this one or this one instead.

And now for the 40 ways to initiate sex with your husband.40 Ways to Initiate Sex with Your Husband

Subtle Approaches

  1. Greet him with a passionate kiss. Go above and beyond your usual hello smooch and put more oomph into it.
  2. Send the kids to grandma’s. Make space and time for you two to be alone together and see what happens.
  3. Put on your intimacy playlist. Set the tone with music.
  4. Slow dance in the living room or your bedroom. Get up-close and in each other’s arms and see where it leads you.
  5. Prepare the bedroom for intimacy. Set the mood with special lighting, silky sheets, etc. — or at least the laundry piles off the bed and the kids’ Legos back in their room.
  6. Leave him a note. On his mirror, in his briefcase, on his dashboard, in his sock drawer — wherever he’ll see it.
  7. Wear suggestive lingerie. Don that revealing outfit that makes his gaze linger.
  8. Leave a “bread crumb trail” to the bedroom. Use anything from flower petals to bite-sized candies to love notes to draw him into the bedroom where you await.
  9. Take him lingerie shopping, and invite him to be involved in your purchase. Choose something together you’d like to try on, and take off.
  10. Read Song of Songs together, trading off the male and female parts and directing your words at each other. It’s a sexy book. In the Bible. Trust me.

More Direct Methods

  1. Gift wrap a box, hand it to him and say, “This is what I’m wearing to bed tonight,” then let him open up the box to find it empty.
  2. Flash him — your breasts and/or your southern region. Give a subtle peek or display the goodies, but either way could get his motor running.
  3. Cook his favorite dinner and, while you’re eating, tell him you’re dessert.
  4. Sext him. (Keep it to something that, if your adult kids found it, would make you really blush but not swear off eye contact for the rest of your life.)
  5. Whisper into his ear what you want to do with him sexually. Bonus points for specificity.
  6. Wear a skirt or a dress without undies and let him know you’re going commando.
  7. Offer to give him a body massage. Have the massage oil or lotion ready to go, and stroke his whole body with your hands.
  8. Ask him to give you a body massage. Turn the tables and let him put his hands on you.
  9. Book a hotel room. Getting away can free your minds for a night of great sex.
  10. Schedule sex on the calendar. That may not sound sexy, but why not put on his and your calendars a date and time for sexual intimacy?

Making It Clear You Want Him

  1. Slip into bed naked. When he rolls over, he’ll know what you have in mind.
  2. Tell him you’re available for sex. This sounds blah, but it can work to simply say, “If you want to make love, I’m totally up for it tonight.”
  3. Write him a sex poem. You’ve heard of love poems, but how about one that’s a little steamier?
  4. Purchase a new marital aid (lube, board game, wedge pillow) and suggest trying it out.
  5. Make a list of sexual positions and ask which one he wants to try tonight. (See Christian Friendly Sexual Positions for ideas.)
  6. Offer to play Strip ____. Poker, Battleship, Checkers, whatever.
  7. Find a sex tips chapter from my book, Hot, Holy, and Humorous, bookmark a page with a note saying “let’s try this tonight,” and leave it for him to find.
  8. Ask about his sexual fantasy, or tell him yours. Even if you don’t act it out, you get the conversation started for what you want to do sexually.
  9. Suggest a challenge, like “First one to make the other climax gets out of doing dishes tonight.” (This only works as a playful idea, not real bartering.)
  10. Give him a straightforward multiple choice of foreplay options: So tonight, do you want a hand job, a blow job, or to give me oral sex?

Getting Right to It

  1. Say, “I want to make love with you. Right now.” No mixed message there.
  2. Take his hands and put them on the intimate places of your body, inviting him to fondle.
  3. Undress him. Bit by bit or tearing off his clothes — whatever floats your boat.
  4. Kiss him in that place you know he likes. Behind his ear? At his waistband? Inner thigh? Find that special, sensuous spot and start kissing.
  5. Snuggle up to him and slyly begin massaging his testicles. Gently, teasingly.
  6. Reach over and touch, stroke, or squeeze his penis. Many men like the direct approach — going right for the good stuff.
  7. Perform a strip tease. (The Marriage Bed has specific tips here.)
  8. Straddle his hips, pressing into him where it counts. It’s a strong taste of what could be happening if you both got naked.
  9. Get in the shower with him, and start soaping him up.
  10. Drop to your knees in front of him, unzip his pants, and stroke his man-part with your hands or mouth.

That’s it! FORTY ways to initiate sex with your hubby! Now go forth and give one a try. Then come back in a few days, or even tomorrow, and choose another.

The Beatitudes in the Bedroom: Experiencing God’s Promises

The Beatitudes. Lately, I’ve been covering how these principles can be applied to our marriage and marriage bed. However, I’d be surprised if some of you haven’t thought of an image like this during this series on my blog:

Bee - Attitudes!

(Yes, I used to work in Children’s Ministry.)

That’s really not a bad way to think about these commands from Jesus: They are attitudes that we take and people we want to be, whether we’re dealing with fellow church goers, co-workers or friends, or our spouse. And the be-attitude we adopt impacts how we view our world, including sexual intimacy in our marriage.

One more time, I want to give you the passage from the Sermon in the Mount that we refer to as The Beatitudes. If you’ve been following this series, you may be tempted to skim these familiar verses, but I encourage you to really read through them and let each sink into your mind and heart.

“Blessed are the poor in spirit,
    for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.
Blessed are those who mourn,
    for they will be comforted.
Blessed are the meek,
    for they will inherit the earth.
Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness,
    for they will be filled.
Blessed are the merciful,
    for they will be shown mercy.
Blessed are the pure in heart,
    for they will see God.
Blessed are the peacemakers,
    for they will be called children of God.
Blessed are those who are persecuted because of righteousness,
    for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.”

Matthew 5:3-10The Beatitudes in the Bedroom: Experiencing God's Promises

There are two more verses that complete this section of Jesus’ Sermon on the Mount: “Blessed are you when people insult you, persecute you and falsely say all kinds of evil against you because of me. Rejoice and be glad, because great is your reward in heaven, for in the same way they persecuted the prophets who were before you.” They expand on the final beatitude of “Blessed are those who are persecuted….”

Now I firmly believe that God’s commands reach every aspect of our lives. But His promises delve into every crevice as well. What if, living according to the Beatitudes, your marriage experienced these promises? What if your marriage itself:

  • belonged in the kingdom of heaven
  • was comforted
  • inherited the earth
  • felt filled
  • received mercy
  • saw God
  • was called a child of God
  • knew the kingdom of heaven

Sounds pretty good, huh?

In wrapping up my own study of this passage, I read a little further in Matthew 5. Now the Books of Matthew and Luke both give an accounting of Jesus’ sermon, and while there is a great deal of overlap, their different perspectives give us a slightly take on what was said and when. No, this isn’t a problem in verifying the truth of what Jesus said; rather, it’s how eyewitnesses report the same incident — with main points that agree and enough variations in detail to conclude they didn’t rehearse a false story. But Matthew may have chosen what came next in his account, rather than this being the order in which Jesus delivered his words.

Still, I was intrigued when I read:

“You are the salt of the earth. But if the salt loses its saltiness, how can it be made salty again? It is no longer good for anything, except to be thrown out and trampled underfoot.

“You are the light of the world. A town built on a hill cannot be hidden. Neither do people light a lamp and put it under a bowl. Instead they put it on its stand, and it gives light to everyone in the house. In the same way, let your light shine before others, that they may see your good deeds and glorify your Father in heaven.”

Matthew 5:13-16

That’s how I often feel about the godly sexual intimacy. While it’s a very private affair, how we conduct ourselves in this area can become a public testimony to the world about our Christian commitment and our spiritual fruit.

As you pour yourself into sexual intimacy, as one of several forms of intimacy you can have in marriage, some of that goodness overflows and shows. Your relationship is holier, heathier, and happier. Your friends and family may never fully know what all is behind your better, stronger, sweeter marriage, but your light shines.

My prayer for you and your marriage is that you will be blessed. That you will be salt and light. That you will experience God’s promises.

Blessed are those…

Let’s be those. Let’s be blessed.

Q&A with J: Why Doesn’t the Church Talk about Song of Songs?

Today’s question is a rather theological one. But it definitely impacts how the Church has viewed sexuality and thus how we in marriage have viewed sexuality. Here’s what the reader asks:

I am really curious to read your thoughts on the Church’s often, if not total, blatant omission of Song of Solomon from any kind of preaching and teaching. Even on the level of targeted group studies, I find it gets ignored.

Part of me believes that it’s just a stubborn belief that we should hang on to the guilt and discomfort that twisted beliefs and ideology about sex over millennia have brought us, but at the same time, I have heard my own pastor proclaim the joy and blessing of sexual union within marriage, usually with reference to Paul’s NT writings, and yet he has never to my knowledge even come close to using a Song of Solomon text to preach on, even from the allegorical/metaphorical standpoint.

I don’t know about you, but I feel the Church has done a lot of damage in this regard, and I really have a bone to pick. Why a gap, and why this particular one? Because Solomon dares to get frisky and then write about it? Keeping our mouths shut about sex (particularly in a godly, Biblical context) is one of my personal grievances with Christianity today, and I suppose I just want to understand why leaders persist in encouraging it.

Why Doesn't the Church Talk about Song of Songs?I believe there are several reasons why churches have ignored the Song of Songs, or Song of Solomon, in the past. Now since I’ll be talking some about the Church’s historical position, I’m going to use the King James Version of the Bible quite often — since it was the primary English translation used from 1611.

Romans 8:1,5-9 says the following:

There is therefore now no condemnation to them which are in Christ Jesus, who walk not after the flesh, but after the Spirit…. For they that are after the flesh do mind the things of the flesh; but they that are after the Spirit the things of the Spirit. For to be carnally minded is death; but to be spiritually minded is life and peace. Because the carnal mind is enmity against God: for it is not subject to the law of God, neither indeed can be. So then they that are in the flesh cannot please God. But ye are not in the flesh, but in the Spirit, if so be that the Spirit of God dwell in you. Now if any man have not the Spirit of Christ, he is none of his.

Got it: Spirit, good, Flesh, bad.

But here’s the thing — you can’t make love without using your flesh. I mean, the whole point is flesh pressed against flesh, right?

And doesn’t sex seem a bit “carnal”? Especially since Oxford Dictionaries defines carnal as “Relating to physical, especially sexual, needs and activities.”

So when a book in the Bible seems rather dedicated to fun, fleshly stuff, some Christians dismissed it. Indeed, they treated the book like it was either (1) an allegory, or (2) in the Old Testament so not nearly as important as the enlightened viewpoint we received after Christ’s coming — that is, the New Testament.

I don’t have an issue reconciling the Spirit and flesh when it comes to sex. Because Galatians 5 clarifies what’s really meant by the flesh:

For the flesh lusteth against the Spirit, and the Spirit against the flesh: and these are contrary the one to the other: so that ye cannot do the things that ye would. But if ye be led of the Spirit, ye are not under the law. Now the works of the flesh are manifest, which are these; adultery, fornication, uncleanness, lasciviousness, idolatry, witchcraft, hatred, variance, emulations, wrath, strife, seditions, heresies, envyings, murders, drunkenness, revellings, and such like: of the which I tell you before, as I have also told you in time past, that they which do such things shall not inherit the kingdom of God. But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, longsuffering, gentleness, goodness, faith, meekness, temperance: against such there is no law (v. 17-23).

Clearly, the flesh about which the apostle Paul speaks is sin. Sexual sins like adultery and fornication are mentioned, but sexual intimacy in marriage isn’t on that list. Of course not! Godly sex is in line with the fruit of the Spirit, with such traits as lovegentleness, and goodness.

Sex as God designed is a lot like charity: to help the hungry, you use your hands to prepare and serve food; to help the poor, you work with your body to earn money and deliver resources into their hands; to help the sick, you tend their wounds and tenderly care for their bodies. Our God-given bodies are used in service of our spiritual goals.

But this misunderstanding of flesh caused some in our Church history to reject nearly everything focused on your body. Ascetism, the practice of avoiding of all forms of physical indulgence, took hold among some — and sex landed on that list of physical indulgences to avoid.

It led to the insistence of celibacy among priests and monks, which was not practiced from the beginning. And some church leaders preached that sex was only necessary for reproduction and should be avoided in marriage at other times, because it seemed to be enjoying this body too much and the spirit not quite enough.

Now I’m not trying to argue with my Catholic followers and friends whether celibacy should be practiced among priests — you can certainly make a case for it given what the apostle Paul said in 1 Corinthians 7:6-9; nor am I wanting to attack the Catholic perspective of every sexual act having the potential for human life (a noble goal in many respects). But this history illuminates how sex and religion were sometimes viewed as natural enemies.

And in this context, the view of Song of Songs as an allegory of Christ and the Church was particularly appealing. After all, Jesus called Himself the bridegroom, so this isn’t really a stretch, is it? Even non-Christian Jews viewed this book as allegory of the relationship of God’s people to Jehovah Himself.

All the way back to the 3rd Century, the allegorical interpretation of Song of Songs is mentioned in a Jewish religious text. And that view is covered several times over in the Middle Ages. So I guess we weren’t the only ones having issues reconciling a book about the ecstasy of physical love with the salvation-based message of the Bible itself.

Look, the question scholars and religious folk have to ask is: “What’s erotic poetry doing in a theology book?”

What's erotic poetry doing in a theology book? Click To Tweet

It almost seems like there should be a warning at the beginning of Song of Songs. Something like Monty Python’s famous line: “And now for something completely different…”

But here’s where scholarship has actually improved. Because of our modern-day resources, we can share information like never before; we can compare texts and commentaries throughout history; we can look into the culture of the times to determine context. And if we use these tools wisely, without confirmation bias, we can do an even better job now of figuring out what an author intended as he wrote the biblical book.

In the case of Song of Songs, scholars now largely agree it’s a book celebrating marital love.

Yes, there’s an analogy we can draw about Christ and His church, just as the analogy of God as our groom and His people as His bride is drawn many times over in Scripture. But the primary theme of Song of Songs is “here’s what it looks like to be intimately connected to your spouse.”

The good news is more and more Christians are willing to speak up about godly sexuality, study Song of Songs in churches, and write about how this beautiful book from our generous Father impacts marriages. I’ve used Song of Songs many times on my blog, and it appears often in my devotional book for wives, Intimacy Revealed: 52 Devotions to Enhance Sex in Marriage. It plays a key role in a new video study for wives from Awaken Love. Song of Solomon features prominently in the title or subtitle of several Christian books on marriage and intimacy. And if you do an internet search for “Song of Solomon sermon series,” you’ll see some pastors are preaching on this subject.

For me, the question has become not only Why don’t we apply the Song of Solomon to our marriage beds, but Why don’t we apply all of Scripture to our marriage beds? This division between spirit and body is a false one. Jesus came to us in a human body and showed what it is to live through that flesh as a God-focused, Spirit-filled person.

And I, for one, want to be Christ-like in every aspect of my life, including the bedroom. I’m grateful that God outlined what that looks like, in many passages of the Bible and by dedicating one particular book just to us married people. Like a love letter to our marriages.