Keelie, men also need to embrace their sexual desires, in the sense that we men are constantly being told that our sexual desires are “fleshly” and not “spiritual.” The key is to understand that I don’t desire sex, I desire my wife sexually. (Thanks, Paul Byerly!) In our marriage bed, we are free to do whatever we desire, with mutual respect and love, serving each other, and honoring God with our bodies.

Men and women alike often need to leave the sexual baggage of the past behind. God has done an amazing thing for my wife and me by restoring our sexual relationship to better than ever, mainly because we both finally understood that God designed us to sexually serve and enjoy each other. Keeping the marriage bed pure doesn’t just mean avoiding sexual sin. It means also that God is present there as well, and we honor Him in this way.

I’m so glad more and more churches are doing a better job talking about sexuality these days. Our church’s marriage prep is really good on the subject, both in dealing with the practicalities of sex and the emotional and spiritual side of sex. Our marriage mentors have seen it all over their years of counseling couples, and are really straightforward with people that no one goes into marriage without sexual baggage. Preparing people to deal with that is so vital.

I LOVE how you’ve taken that quote of Eric Liddel’s and applied it to marriage. So good!

We both have been cured of these wrong ideas, but it was not with any help from the church. Most churches still don’t deal with sexuality except to say that before marriage or outside marriage, it’s bad. In marriage, go ahead, but it’s still a rather “fleshly” thing to do.

I love the line in “Chariots of Fire” where Eric Liddel says, “God made me fast, and when I run, I feel His pleasure.” God made us sexual, and when we have sex, we feel His pleasure. In a way, when a husband and wife are in this most intimate of activities, we are participating in a sort of “spiritual drama,” enacting physically what Paul says in Ephesians 5 about Christ loving the church. It is a mystery, and it shows the love of a God who wants His children to experience some of the ecstasy of His love in the way He created us.