Just had to jump in on this one… I wholeheartedly agree with J on this! I would be willing to bet that it likely has everything to do with the angle, friction, etc and zero to do with you. I absolutely crave my wife’s gorgeous body, and I love every inch of her, but the position you described does pretty much nothing for me.
Don’t get me wrong, I enjoy it because I do get to see such a fantastic view of her, but I don’t think I could “finish” in that position if my life depended on it.
It just doesn’t keep the sensation that I require at an intense enough level for me to go “over the edge” so to speak.

Also, not sure how old your hubby is, but in my case, things just ain’t as trustworthy downstairs as they used to be…??
A good breeze was once enough to induce “the big finale” and there are times now (45+) that a hurricane would be disappointed…

Obviously, I don’t know your husband, but based purely on the men that I know, I just don’t believe that his issues have anything whatsoever to do with his attraction to you. Quite possibly, he’s having some things occur that are baffling to him, and he’s as devastated as you are, if not more.
It’s a horrible feeling when Mr. Dependable decides he’s going part time, and his hours are “flexible…”

I’d recommend having a conversation about the situation, some place other than in the bedroom, and just see what he has to say. However, it’s a difficult thing to talk about, especially if it’s a rather recent development.

Hope this helps!

TD

I agree to a large part, but at the same time, you do have to think about what you like and don’t like some. After all, how can your spouse please you if you don’t know what pleases you? At the same time, if I’m having sex with my wife or doing anything sexual and she doesn’t like it or acts like she just wants me to get it over with, then I feel like a failure and in fact guilty like I’ve used her.

We HAVE dug into this. We’ve been married 11 years and been to counseling 3 times. He’ll say out of his own mouth it’s because he’s lazy. I don’t wanna get into details because I usually post on Sheila’s blog, I just wanted to mention that sometimes giving everything you’ve got until you’re burned out is wrong.

I bet if you dug deeper, there’s something else. He married you for a reason.

What he enjoys receiving is to be left alone to watch tv. He can go a week with no physical touch and feels just fine about it.

Not all people react and enjoy sex the way we expect they should or the way we do ourselves.
It is hard to give something that is not received with the intended reaction.
Time to re-evaluate what they might enjoy receiving instead.
Then give freely.

Anon. I really have to say as a fellow husband I would say it’s the condom. I like what someone told me once about condoms and from my experience it’s true. Using a condom is like eating an ice cream cone with a sock on your tongue. Your husband knows his own anatomy and physiology very well. You might want to try another method of protection. There are several.

J is right. You are definitely not a failure! Have some grace for yourself.

That is so not a failure! The angle, friction, etc. change with sexual positions, and that is most likely the issue with inability to finish him in a particular position. The “unobstructed view” is very likely not influencing that. Just do woman-on-top for a while, then switch positions to finish up.

(And lighten up on yourself! Really. 🙂 )