I dated a guy who was sexually molested as a child too. And I think it happens more often than we consider, because women are more likely to share their experiences while men tend to keep that information to themselves. But I’m sure your story and wisdom would help someone. I pray that God helps you discern when to speak up. Blessings!

It wasn’t until after nearly 17 years of marriage that I was able to share with my wife about how I had been abused as a boy. Even now, it is very painful to relive in my mind when I do talk or write about it. And when I wrote about it in a letter to someone who needed to know, I was betrayed and the information went to others who had no need to know.

People sometimes say that time heals all wounds. Not true. Only the grace of God can do that. I’m at a point where I can be non-anonymous (if that is a word) with some people and up to a point. There are some things that will be between God and me only this side of eternity.

I really appreciate you, J, and others like you who share so much with us. It is really encouraging, and your blog and others like it have helped me to be more open and honest, even with myself. I hope that God will use me and my pain and sorrow, and His healing of them, to help others find His will and His peace.

I don’t think I would have stepped out so boldly if not for my anonymity at first. But I did always have in mind that someday — eventually — my face and name would be out there. Thanks, Chris!

I’m happy to see you on this side of the umbrella now. 🙂

I agree with you. I don’t think God wants sexual abuse to happen to anyone, ever! But He can guide us through and use our pain and healing to help others. May He continue to comfort you!

I’ve often wondered how sharing part of my own journey could help others. It isn’t something I go round telling people – without exercising prayer and wisdom – and I don’t feel it is something I’m called to personally blog about, but, where it becomes relavent I have shared about the sexual abuse I suffered, as a son, by my mother.

Like I say, it isn’t something I feel I need to actively share with others, but I have shared it as and when I felt prompted to by the Holy Spirit and t his has enabled others, especially other men, to open up about the abuse they suffered (are suffering) within a marriage, for example.

I hate the phrase “everything happens for a reason” but I absolutely believe that, with God, nothing is west e d for the glory of God.

I honestly believe that my transparacy, now that part of my life is mastered by Christ within me and no longer makes me feel shame, is helpful for others.

Our transparency and honesty can really open others up to allowing God to begin to set them free of their own shame; knowing others have experienced something painful too can be a powerful thing all by itself.

As for me, I still don’t feel it is something I should activatly talk about, but it is something, especially after my 6 months of CBT PTSD, that I now ‘own’.

It made me part of who I am.

God turned that around and that is certainly something worth sharing – the amazing and forgiving and liberating and life changing power of the Holy Spirit at work in us; nothing is beyond His love and redemption.