Comments on: Is Your Spouse Flawless?

By: Alicia

Alicia — Wed, 23 Nov 2016 23:23:58 +0000

He is currently in remission, cancer-free. Praise God! We’re praying it stays that way. It really is a God thing, since last year the cancer was Stage Four metastatic, and his team didn’t have much hope. When his PET scan came back normal, his oncologist told him, “There’s nothing typical about your case.” His response was, “That’s because there’s nothing typical about my God.” So true!

By: J

Wed, 23 Nov 2016 15:06:51 +0000

In reply to Alicia. Speaking of "to the point of tears," that was beautiful. *wiping away the moisture from my eyes* I pray that your husband has a full healing so that you can enjoy one another for a long time to come. Blessings!

By: Alicia

Alicia — Wed, 23 Nov 2016 05:25:26 +0000

Thanks for writing this, J. It made me think of two things. One is a practice I started when my husband and I first met, even before we were married. God prompted me to start a list (in this case a file on my computer) where I write down little things I love about my now-husband. Whether it’s something he said, did, shared with me, whatever, something positive that reminded me what a great and special man he is. Sometimes it’s little stuff, like the day a stylist cut my hair way too short, and I was upset to the point of tears. I usually frown on being girlie, but my hair is the one exception. Many guys would have been like, “What’s your problem, it’s just hair, it grows back,” but my man held me, and didn’t dismiss my unhappiness. That went in there. Last year when he battled cancer, I wrote down someof the thigns he said or did that stood out to me, and some of them were very deep, serious things. I use that file on those days when I’m frustrated or angry with him, when the Enemy tries to tell me that our relatively new marriage is more trouble than it’s worth. I look at that list and remind myself what an amazing man God has given me. Believe me, it’s helped. Speaking of that cancer battle, Bob’s post made me think of it. My husband was sicker than I’ve ever seen anyone, unable to do a lot of basic tasks for himself, needing meds every four hours to control the violent illness that came with his aggressive chemotherapy. But even during that, he was my prince. That’s what I call him. Even at the worst, I was able to look at him and remind him that he was far more than a cancer patient, he was still my prince, and all that word implies for me. Is he perfect? Heavens no! Neither of us are. But you’re right, loves sees the imperfection, and chooses to still see that person as God sees them.

By: J

Tue, 22 Nov 2016 14:18:11 +0000

In reply to E. Wow, what a great little Bible study you just led us through here. Thank you!

By: E

Tue, 22 Nov 2016 07:19:05 +0000

That is an amazing life verse. I am so sorry for her family and friends, left behind.
I have to say that when I have read Song of Songs, I must’ve skimmed over that line, or at least not thought of it for any length of time, because reading it on your blog, it felt new to me.
This week during my quiet time, I felt the word ‘perfection’ pressing on me, specifically my ‘perfectionism’ and feeling like I need to be perfect, to be loved. God showed me this verse Hebrews 10:14 ‘for by one offering He has perfected forever those who are being sanctified’. So I then started thinking about how to find the balance between ‘needing to be perfect to feel His love’ and ‘behaving perfectly because of His love’. Obviously, we are not going to achieve true perfection in this lifetime, but the next verse I came to was Jeremiah 31:33 ‘I will put My law in their minds and write it on their hearts; and I will be their God, and they shall be my people’ – which made me realise that because I am His, He has put in my heart and mind a desire to do the right things, the perfect things. And then in Jeremiah 31:34 ‘for I will forgive them their iniquity, and their sin I will remember no more’. Which spoke to me of God’s grace in those moments when I do not quite make the ‘perfect’ standard. So those three verses together somehow worked for me.
Then, I listened a podcast which referenced the song ‘Flawless’ by Mercy Me, about how we are made flawless by Jesus’ sacrifice on the cross. And now, I am reading your blog post, it seems like this is too much for it all to be a coincidence!
Thank you for helping me to cast my eyes outward and instead of looking at myself, I will be looking at the lovely perfection of my spouse when he gets home from work today!

By: J

Mon, 21 Nov 2016 19:13:17 +0000

In reply to Eric Wiggin.

Thanks, Eric!

And you’re in TEXAS — isn’t that plenty of reason to give thanks?! #BornAndBredTexan 🙂

By: Eric Wiggin

Eric Wiggin — Mon, 21 Nov 2016 16:52:53 +0000

In reply to Mike.

I’m sitting here in my youngest son’s apartment in Waco, Texas still trying to get into a “Thanksgiving” mood after driving nearly 1,500 miles from Michigan (including a couple of side-trips to visit other family members). I’ve been trying to catch up on J’s blogs, since I’ve been off the computer for nearly a week.

Mike and I are the same generation, so I understand where he’s coming from when he says “I still love to see my wife in her birthday suit.” Some of J’s comments re a wife who was raped as a child apply here, also. We men went into marriage pretty much ignorant of what baggage our wives may have carried from their pasts, and most of us were innocent of knowledge about female issues to the extent that it took us a few years to figure things out. Songs 4:7, about the “altogether lovely” wife, for instance, required some maturity in marriage for me to understand, as well as a few years of marriage for her to “get” it when I made apprecitive comments about her naked anatomy. So yes, like Mike, not only do I “still love” what I see–she’s more beautiful with each passing day. This is a precious truth every wife needs to understand and accept as her own–whether she’s 18 or 88. God sees you as beautiful, and it’s appropriate and godly that your husband notices and comments, too!
Eric

By: J

Mon, 21 Nov 2016 05:25:43 +0000

In reply to Bobthemusicguy. this.

By: Bobthemusicguy

Bobthemusicguy — Mon, 21 Nov 2016 03:49:15 +0000

In reply to J. Canticle is anglicized from Latin cantare, to sing, hence, a song. Some older English translations begin "the Canticle of Canticles, which is Solomon's."

By: Bobthemusicguy

Bobthemusicguy — Mon, 21 Nov 2016 00:39:41 +0000

My wife and I have both had some revelations about this recently. When I had open heart surgery several years ago, I was completely helpless, even to eat or go to the bathroom. The love and care my wife gave me then opened my eyes to what I had been experiencing without really giving it the attention it deserved: she REALLY LOVES ME! Her care had been there for years, but it took me getting knocked down completely to open my eyes fully to her love.

Our older son recently got engaged. His obvious love for his bride to be got him to quit a job and move across the country to be near her and to be able to marry sooner. After observing him, my wife said she finally realized that all the depth of love she saw in her son was the same as she saw in her husband. She just needed to be able to step back and see me a bit differently.

I think we get caught up in the familiar, the daily grind, the usual. I know I do. But whenever I stop and think about it, I say to myself, ” She is the most amazing woman! Thank You, God, for blessing me with this wonderful wife.” Flaws? What flaws? It’s like the old hymn says, “Count your blessings, nam them one by one.”