Actually, I wrote about that a long time ago! Here’s that post: Would Polygamy Be All That Bad?

No, I don’t have suggestions on using hand straps in the bedroom. While not entirely opposed to bondage, I actually have concerns about BDSM behaviors becoming trendy and prevalent in many marriage bed encounters. You can read my thoughts here and here and here. But I really can’t help you with your question. Wishing you and your husband all the best! Blessings.

Thank you for sharing this Bill, While I am 40 years younger than you, I have pondered a bit on our marital intimacy as we age. Your testimony is such an inspiration. Many thanks to you, and blessings to you and your lovely wife. From hot and sunny Australia.

Thanks for sharing your experience. And I totally agree that body image post-childbirth can play a big role. In all honesty, it took me years to get over how my stomach hangs a bit over my C-section scar. My hubby, though, is like, “What? You look great!” As most husbands, thankfully, are.

Just wanted to add one thing: When there is pain associated with sex it can be very hard to get past that if you’re not particularly in the mood or feeling very loved and intimate at the time. If I’m already feeling connected to my husband I really don’t mind a little pain in order to bring him pleasure and honestly would prefer to not even tell him that I’m experiencing discomfort. (In the interest of honesty and because he feels bad later if he finds out that it hurt, we’ve settled on the agreement that if it’s a little uncomfortable but I really don’t mind I don’t need to tell him, but if I’m laying there mentally wincing and waiting for it to end, I need to speak up and we’ll figure out what else we can do.) On the other hand, I’d I’m already not in the mood or feeling disconnected with my husband the pain gets to me way worse.
I’m not saying this as a justification for your wife to never have sex with you, but because I think it’s important for you to understand that connection.

Definitely possible that it could still be related to stitches. I had an episiotomy when my baby was born nearly two years ago. It healed remarkably well, but I do still experience a tightness (and minor pain) with rear entry that I definitely believe is related to the scar tissue associated with that. We have sex on a nearly daily frequency, but I definitely find that if it has been a few days it can be worse. So my guess is that that with your infrequency of sex it definitely could be quite painful for her…that’s the only chance that scar tissues gets to “stretch out” and it definitely hurts to begin with. I usually just ask (my very tender and patient) husband to go really slow for a minute and after it’s stretched out it’s fine. The minimal pain never bothers me when he’s gentle and I’m so blessed to be married to a man who doesn’t WANT to do anything that actually causes me pain (even if it’s minimal I still have to convince him that I don’t mind continuing).
In regards to her being unwilling to try different positions now, I just also wanted to add that body image issues after having a child can change things so much and definitely make women very self conscious about positions they may have enjoyed before when they felt good about their body. How a women feels about herself has such an impact on what she’s willing (or wanting) to do.

For quite a few years my wife and I during the holiday season have hung on our front door a nice, very large “Ho, Ho, Ho!” sign painted bright red that I had made on plywood. It’s a beautiful sign– red and bright and happy as can be. Well, one year not long ago I had to go to the hospital for heart surgery (I’m fit now) and stay there to recuperate for a while, so I couldn’t do my annual chore of hanging the “Ho, Ho, Ho!” sign on our house’s front door. So while I was in the hospital my wife decided to hang it on the door herself, which she did– sort of, for without realizing it and not really admiring it after she had finished, she accidentally hanged the sign on our front door UPSIDE DOWN so that then it read in large, bright red letters for all passers-by to see: “oH, oH, oH!”

Well, all our neighbors and many others driving by had no idea what was going on at our house but you can bet that most of them probably thought it had to be something pretty darn exciting and maybe, or most likely, even something sexual!

I came home from the hospital a couple of days later & pointed out the upside-down sign to her.
She was chagrined, but I turned the sign right side up and swept her inside where on our bed I promptly made the previous “oH, oH, oH!” sign on our front door come true!

Now that’s a loving Christmas memory we will never forget— and it’s one that we’re always sure to relive every year since.

Hope you had a very loving Christmas, too!