Good article.

Thanks for the HHH blog.

” Any form of abuse does this kind of damage. Severe emotional abuse too.”

Amanda is 100% right. Because I was a skinny nerd, brainy, and the kid who went to church and tried to witness to others in a mostly godless upper-New England community (my dad was the Sunday school superintendent in the only church in our town), I was bullied and knocked around in junior high and for the first two years of high school. Not sexually–just bullied. And years later I had to deal with the nightmares. Then one day I discovered the secret of Matthew 18. I needed to forgive, and to do this unilaterally, leaving it with Jesus. He took my nightmares and gave blessed relief.

Years later I and a Christian marriage counselor were working together on a book. And I learned something interesting from her: most sexual abuse victims are confused, falsely believing that they can never forgive unless the abuser (in many cases he/she died years earlier) apologizes. And of course it’s rare when an abuser ever apologizes. So they go on for years–or a lifetime–carrying a burden that Jesus died for.

Then one day I heard a woman startle a group of 30-40 other sexually abused women by telling them how the Lord had delivered her from the tormentors of false guilt that had deviled her soul night and day now that she was an adult. She claimed Matthew 18 and forgave sincerely the one who could never apologize, her dead grandfather. She’s been happy ever since.

Eric