Comments on: I’m Praying for My Sex Life. When Will God Answer?

By: 5 under 5

5 under 5 — Mon, 06 Feb 2017 12:58:50 +0000

Good post! My husband likes to remind me that whatever problem we face is not the “end” and we are not stuck there, as we are both still growing, still praying, still striving, still figuring it all out. It is so challenging to our flesh to just shut up and listen to God!

By: J

Sun, 05 Feb 2017 01:31:15 +0000

In reply to K. Wonderful! I have a feeling God's going to be working on me more in this department as well this year. Not so much with my marriage as other issues. (We're always works in progress, aren't we?") Blessings!

By: J

Sun, 05 Feb 2017 01:30:06 +0000

In reply to A Happy Hubby. Thank you for sharing all this. But yes, I feel heartbroken that your wife never came to an understanding of what sexual intimacy would have meant for you, and for yourself, in your marriage. May God bless in many other ways.

By: K

Sun, 05 Feb 2017 01:00:00 +0000

Ahh, yes. This is exactly where I am right now. Finally shutting up and listening– asking God to open my eyes to my own sin when I’ve just been hung up on my husbands. And let me tell you, He has been faithful to answer that prayer. God has been showing me an abundance of sin in my life… specifically in my marriage, and at the same time showing me my husbands strong suits that I overlooked. I’m 25 and was saved over 10 years ago…. yet shamefully this is the first time it’s dawned on me to ask God to open my eyes up to my own sin. It’s also feels like the first time I’ve gotten answers to any prayers… like straight answers. I always wondered how some people could be so certain God wanted them to do XYZ. This is a great place to be.

By: A Happy Hubby

A Happy Hubby — Sat, 04 Feb 2017 22:23:50 +0000

This is a great topic. I do think you have covered it well and I do really get the part about how problems in marriage can force us to take a look at ourselves. For most people after they have been married for quite a while their spouse will probably know them better than anyone else (parents know how you were growing up, but many are different after reaching adulthood). Really looking at yourself and your contributions to issues in your marriage can be one of the most growth promoting actions you may ever take.
I would say that has occurred with me. The intimacy issues showed up in our marriage within a week after we were married. We had both been “really good” before marriage and didn’t expect issues. After a while I was pleading with the Lord to change my wife. I started reading and many books correctly said, “look in the mirror to find the problems in your marriage.” It took about 6 or 7 books before that REALLY sunk in and I tried. Several more books and several more years of praying for ME to become better and I feel I made some improvements in myself and how I treat and respect my wife. For that I am grateful.
So far my comment has been in support of this post, but let me make one counter-point before coming back to still support this.
In my story I kept praying more and more for decades. Mainly praying for “help me to change” and then eventually after a few decades it was more, “Lord – I don’t even know what to ask for, but you know my heart, please help me and my wife.” I kept reading more and more books. My wife refused to go to counseling or even bring up any issues with the doctor that might be contributing to our issues. She didn’t want to talk about it and disagreed there is any issue. After being married about 3 decades and going through a few occurrences of depression due to this – one episode quite deep (including trying to find a way to be castrated so my wife and I were not in such an imbalance of desire), I lost all hope – both in my wife and in God. Shortly after that my age caught up to me and even though the equipment generally works, I feel just about nothing when the fireworks should be exploding. I can sympathize a bit with women that have significant issues reaching orgasm.
So out of my pity pout, I will say that I am still glad I had the opportunity to be forced to look deep into myself and improve myself. And from the dozens of books I have read, I hear that most people when they pray AND really look at themselves, ask for the feedback from their spouse, and try and improve themselves that the marriage turns around. So even though my marriage is VERY far from ideal, I still give this blog post a thumbs up and encourage readers to take the advice seriously.