Thank you very much! Glad you stopped by, Matt.

You’re amazing Cindy! I know it’s not easy… it’s costly… but keep at it xx

B, I was hoping you would write 🙂 This is the first time I’d commented on J’s blog but I’ve been reading it every single week since I got married (Thankyou for bringing us truth every time J!)… which means I’ve read every single time you’ve poured your heart out. My heart has broken for you every single time. I’m so sorry it’s been so hard for way too long and the longing in your heart for your husband to draw near is a constant open wound. I’ve experienced emotional and some sexual abuse (it stopped recently) and neglect in my marriage and I can 100% pull the victim card… well… because I was one… BUT I’m also a grown as woman in her 30’s who knows a lot more now than I did just a few years ago and I get to choose to rise up with my Creator and begin to counter all the lies my husband has bought into from the enemy about my body, my sex drive, my desire for deep intimacy with him, my desire for purity in my marriage… you name it my husband has probably said it out loud or done it. SO my job is to know the truth. The truth about my body, the truth about my husband and the truth about God’s desire for sex in marriage. So that every time something happens, or something is said, or something is done (or not done), that counters that… I know I can boldly (this has looked pretty pitiful many a time) stand on the truth. And if I truly believe that God is who He says He is… then He will win the battle.

Does this mean it’s not costly? It’s by far the most costly few years of my life to date. I have been depressed, riddled with anxiety, asked God to gift me with not waking up the next day, left my husband, spent days on the scales weighing myself, put on more makeup, exercised more, shaved more, and yes… bared the weight of his words that have ripped my body image to shreds. And then I remember… God has called me to a higher standard of living. One that does not shrink back but stands up for truth. God’s truth about me; His daughter. It is selfish to think that for some reason I get to be the exception and give up.

My mind and body struggle with the truth because they naturally lean into the lies… but my spirit knows different. God is good and He never left me. He has seen it all. And He is working on my behalf to heal and restore in ways I could never dream of. And that is what keeps me at my post… loving my husband, directing Him to Jesus, surrounding us with wise council, confronting him when needed and initiating sex even when the answer might be no.

It’s time to stand up B! No one can fight for your body image and sexual intimacy like you and God can! We’re all right here with you!

As you know, I don’t think it has anything to do with finding you “worthy.” But I definitely like your attitude of “my answer is always yes!” 🙂

Great wording Libl! I love the way you’ve put that!

I envy wives who have the right to say “no” or “not now”. But I get asked so infrequently, my answer is always yes!! I feel like if he’s taking the time to initiate, I should be grateful that he finds me worthy that day.

Wow! We have somewhat similar situations, as far as I am also a higher drive wife. However, your attitude is SO MUCH BETTER than mine! Thanks for commenting. You’re an inspiration.
Not sure I can get where you are, but you are still an inspiration!

If it can help you, my wife and I try to go for at least once a week and I am definitely the higher drive spouse. As for Aspergers, my wife handles living with a man with it very well. In fact, we both have Aspergers.