Comments on: Are You (Too) Content with “Better Than It Used to Be”?

By: A Loveliness of Links ~ June 2017 - The Forgiven Wife

A Loveliness of Links ~ June 2017 - The Forgiven Wife — Sun, 02 Jul 2017 11:01:52 +0000

[…] Are You (Too) Content with “Better Than It Used to Be”? Hot, Holy & Humorous […]

By: J

Sat, 24 Jun 2017 15:47:09 +0000

In reply to TB. I agree entirely. I don't think we should settle, but change typically happens in steps, and even stops and starts, and we must celebrate those. It's important to look back at where we've been to see how far we've come, and also to look forward to where we want to go. I am praying for you and your marriage. Blessings!

By: TB

TB — Sat, 24 Jun 2017 15:26:34 +0000

I have been working to improve my attitude towards sex in my marriage. I am dealing with a husband who had multiple affairs and continues to battle porn use. I am reaching beyond my comfort zone and overcoming my emotional baggage from these sins. He doesn’t appear to be working on the porn battle, as far as I know the affairs issues is not an issue anymore. It has been very difficult for me to overcome some of the emotional stuff and work on improving our sex life and intimacy. One of my struggles is wondering if he wants me to do certain things because of his past affairs and porn use and those were things that he enjoyed doing or watching. I feel like I am making strides and things are better than they used to be and that is a great step in a long journey. But as someone else commented, I hear from my husband that it isn’t as good as he wants it to be and there is no acknowledgement of what has improved. I guess what I’m trying to say it when one spouse is working on something and it is better than it used to be that spouse wants to be acknowledged for the improvement not told there is still more work to be done before the other spouse is happy. Appreciate and encourage the change that has happened and understand that more change is coming, just not as fast as you would like.

By: J

Thu, 22 Jun 2017 01:52:36 +0000

In reply to Happily Married. Indeed!

By: Happily Married

Happily Married — Thu, 22 Jun 2017 01:47:30 +0000

I think this also applies to different seasons of life. You may work through struggles in one season and then have a whole new batch of things to work through again in another season. Good reminder to be constantly looking to the Lord to help us grow in our marriage and not become dependant on past “victories”….your advice was timely! Thank you. 🙂

By: Wayne

Wayne — Wed, 21 Jun 2017 12:34:23 +0000

Intriguing question! Some great responses, too. Thrive: Casting Crowns has a great song by that name. Not growing complacent and comparing ourselves to others. Satisfied, yet not too content.

I think “better than it was” can be used as an excuse, or even sometimes, as a hammer: as in, “yes, you’re doing better than you were, but it’s still not good enough”. I would also say it depends. I have had some pain and stiffness the past couple of days, feeling groggy and crabby too, but better today. So at this moment, for that issue, I’ll grab “better than it was” with both hands! But I agree as a general rule, we don’t want to stay there.

As for sex, I tend to think it raises that question to another level. Myself, I’d rather make love once every two months and it be out of this world, than twice a month and it be “just okay”, and I’m pretty sure my special someone would agree with me there.. :). Not to take too much time in between, though (another smiley).

By: Terrell Bosarge

Terrell Bosarge — Wed, 21 Jun 2017 12:19:15 +0000

This was awesome! and really an answer to prayer for me to specific direction to a project in my life. Thank you for being obedient to being used by God!

By: J

Wed, 21 Jun 2017 03:14:15 +0000

In reply to alchemist. Ooh, that is a better word. Now I'm wishing I had used that.

By: Rachael

Rachael — Tue, 20 Jun 2017 19:25:21 +0000

Sometimes being content with better than it used to be is the best you can hope for. For example, sex used to be excruciatingly painful for me but now it’s merely mildly painful. It will likely never be any better. This is disappointing, but only a year ago I would have given anything for sex to be only mildly painful so remembering that things are better than they used to be can really help keep the disappointment at bay.

By: alchemist

alchemist — Tue, 20 Jun 2017 17:51:27 +0000

In reply to J.

Or “Have you grow complacent”

The companion question, have you given yourself a free pass because your marriage is better than x’s?

Thank you for the challenging post