Comments on: My Biggest Problem with “Pray for Your Marriage” https://hotholyhumorous.com/2017/10/07/my-biggest-problem-with-pray-for-your-marriage/ God's Design for Marital Intimacy Mon, 16 Oct 2017 22:46:16 +0000 hourly 1 https://wordpress.org/?v=7.1.3 By: J https://hotholyhumorous.com/2017/10/07/my-biggest-problem-with-pray-for-your-marriage/#comment-66859 Mon, 16 Oct 2017 22:46:16 +0000 https://hotholyhumorous.com/?p=22730#comment-66859 In reply to Sean.

Thanks for sharing that it can happen to men as well, Sean. I skew my marriage quite a bit toward wives, so I tend toward that language. But I know I have a lot of husbands reading as well.

As for the verbal abuse, I hope you set boundaries with that. If not, I encourage you to get Boundaries in Marriage by John Townsend and Henry Cloud, which will walk you through some options. Many blessings.

]]> By: Sean https://hotholyhumorous.com/2017/10/07/my-biggest-problem-with-pray-for-your-marriage/#comment-66851 Mon, 16 Oct 2017 20:50:34 +0000 https://hotholyhumorous.com/?p=22730#comment-66851 You said this…
“A spouse is abusive. You can’t just pray that a spouse will stop smacking you or calling you every name in the book. Jesus Himself said that He was sent here in part “to set the oppressed free” (Luke 4:18). Get out, and if he wants to stop being abusive, he can change, win your heart back, and renew the marriage covenant.”

In addition to sexual refusal, my W also did this. She did stop hitting me in 2004, because I began working as a prosecutor & I told her that even though I would never hit her back, I would have her arrested if she hit me again. But the verbal abuse never stopped.

She told me many many times that I was a terrible husband and leader, all of her friends’ husbands were better, and she could easily find a better husband. So it is not just men who can be abusive.

But thank you for writing this. It is very good to read that someone else thinks that abuse should never be tolerated.

]]> By: How Should You Pray for Your Spouse? | Hot, Holy & Humorous https://hotholyhumorous.com/2017/10/07/my-biggest-problem-with-pray-for-your-marriage/#comment-66790 Sat, 14 Oct 2017 11:00:24 +0000 https://hotholyhumorous.com/?p=22730#comment-66790 […] my last post on prayer, My Biggest Problem with “Pray for Your Marriage”, one wife left this thoughtful […]

]]> By: Q&A with J: “My Sexless Marriage Is Making Me Lose My Faith in God” | Hot, Holy & Humorous https://hotholyhumorous.com/2017/10/07/my-biggest-problem-with-pray-for-your-marriage/#comment-66720 Thu, 12 Oct 2017 11:00:47 +0000 https://hotholyhumorous.com/?p=22730#comment-66720 […] whether I felt God there depended on how much I truly invited Him in. Did I want God to just come fix things? Or did I want God to use that experience to draw me closer into a relationship with […]

]]> By: J https://hotholyhumorous.com/2017/10/07/my-biggest-problem-with-pray-for-your-marriage/#comment-66696 Mon, 09 Oct 2017 21:46:44 +0000 https://hotholyhumorous.com/?p=22730#comment-66696 In reply to Ashley.

I think it’s perfectly fine to pray that someone’s heart will change! The issue becomes when you expect God to do that without taking into account the person’s free will. I want God to nudge (shove, really) that person, but ultimately it’s their decision.

Meanwhile, I’d also pray for wisdom on how to handle the situation, courage to combat unrighteousness in my midst, and support to get out if I need to.

]]> By: Ashley https://hotholyhumorous.com/2017/10/07/my-biggest-problem-with-pray-for-your-marriage/#comment-66694 Mon, 09 Oct 2017 21:27:49 +0000 https://hotholyhumorous.com/?p=22730#comment-66694 Another problem I have when people talk about praying for one’s marriage is the advice that you shouldn’t pray for your spouse to change, you should pray for God to help YOU to change. This may be right in many cases, but if one spouse is cheating or abusing, or addicted to something, or I could go on, the other spouse SHOULD pray for the one in the wrong to change (along with taking appropriate action, like you said). I get sick and tired of the the burden of needing to change being put on the spouse who is already faithful, committed, and trying so hard.

]]> By: J https://hotholyhumorous.com/2017/10/07/my-biggest-problem-with-pray-for-your-marriage/#comment-66668 Sun, 08 Oct 2017 02:22:29 +0000 https://hotholyhumorous.com/?p=22730#comment-66668 In reply to E.

James is one of my favorite books of the Bible, because of its practicality. Great verse!

]]> By: J https://hotholyhumorous.com/2017/10/07/my-biggest-problem-with-pray-for-your-marriage/#comment-66667 Sun, 08 Oct 2017 02:22:07 +0000 https://hotholyhumorous.com/?p=22730#comment-66667 In reply to Kendra.

Thanks!

]]> By: Kendra https://hotholyhumorous.com/2017/10/07/my-biggest-problem-with-pray-for-your-marriage/#comment-66666 Sun, 08 Oct 2017 02:17:15 +0000 https://hotholyhumorous.com/?p=22730#comment-66666 Great stuff! As usual. Thanks.

]]> By: E https://hotholyhumorous.com/2017/10/07/my-biggest-problem-with-pray-for-your-marriage/#comment-66665 Sun, 08 Oct 2017 01:38:29 +0000 https://hotholyhumorous.com/?p=22730#comment-66665 My favourite verse on prayer is in James. James 1:5 if any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask of God, who gives to all liberally and without reproach, and it will be given to him.

I recently did Jen Wilkin’s study on the book of James, and this was one of the verses that really stuck out to me,and is now regularly used in my prayers. I think it really encourages the ‘listening’ aspect of praying, because how else is God going to give us wisdom if we are not listening for it?

]]>