Here’s the thing, Brian. As much as I believe in sex being a part of marriage — and the Bible makes that imminently clear in many respects — that aspect is actually missing from the list of virtues of a noble wife in Proverbs 31:10-31. She is appreciate for far more than being a sexually attractive and engaged wife. Intimating that sex is the reason a man marries makes a woman feel like she’s just a compilation of body parts, rather than a friend and partner in life. Of course, sex is one form of intimacy we must have in marriage, but it isn’t the only one.

Also, your last paragraph is dismissive of my opinion, chalking it up to “a combination of what the culture has taught you as well as you seeing romance and sex from a very female point of view.” Female is one important aspect of who I am, but I am more than that too, in my eyes and God’s. I think men and women share more than they differ, so we really can have conversation in which we respect one another’s views and try to come to some understanding and even agreement. Let’s at least try.

There is truth in that adage that respect is earned. However, many of us women have experienced a man being entirely inappropriate even when we are presenting ourselves with respect and professionalism. But even when a woman doesn’t do that, the man is still responsible for his actions. Check out this post from pastor Kevin A. Thompson: What a Drunk Girl Deserves.

Yes, that is a creepy thought, for the vast majority of people. Unfortunately, a few find that thought arousing (exhibitionism). But I agree entirely that sex belongs in the marriage bed.

As I see it, the problem is that our culture tells us there is no need to draw a line at all. And as a Christian man, I would rather err on the side of modesty and prudence. Let’s take the explicit expression, and even the implicit expression, of sex and put it back were it belongs: in the marriage bed. The idea of seeing sex as entertaining is creepily put into perspective if you imagine someone watching you, for entertainment purposes, make love with your spouse.

I know you don’t want this derailed to a discussion of women’s modesty, but there is a huge connection. A woman says “Respect my body. And now I’m going to dress in such a manner that you can see most of it in a provocative way.” In the grocery store, at the mall, on the street, and (alas!) even in church, I see women dressing (and acting) in such a way as to advertise themselves as sexual beings. And I get back to my daily task of averting my eyes and disciplining my thoughts. There is truth in the adage the respect is earned.