So good and encouraging!

Stephanie, you’re not alone in being the higher-drive spouse. Indeed, more husbands than often reported don’t have as much interest in sex, perhaps 15-30% of marriages. (I think it’s about 1/4, but stats aren’t good on this.) There are a number of reasons why your husband isn’t as interested, but it is very unlikely that they have anything to do with your attractiveness or sexual pleasure. It’s more often health reasons, stress or mood issues, background baggage, porn habit (previous or current that interferes with how men view sexual pleasure), self-image, or relationship passivity. I hope you’ll stick around my blog, because I definitely talk to and with higher-drive wives and try to give y’all some answers. Saying a prayer for you. Blessings!

♥ ♥ ♥ — that is all.

My wife had never, ever had an orgasm in her entire life. She somehow managed to go through puberty without having any desire at all to touch herself, or engage in any form of self discovery. With the benefit of hindsight, we’ve come to the conclusion that she perceived sex, and certainly masturbation, to be something “dirty” and an act that was for the satisfaction of men.

Needless to say, in our two plus decades together, I exhausted just about every angle I could conceive of, to break through those foundational beliefs that she held onto so tightly. She just had no interest in exploring the possibility that God intended for married couples to BOTH experience pleasure in their marital bed. She said that she enjoyed what our sex life was comprised of, and that she felt like it was more about my ego and pride, than my honest longing to give her as much pleasure as she gave me.
That cut pretty deep, because I knew better.

After much prayer, many conversations, many battles of wills, and some honest assessments of my motives, I made the decision to be grateful for the infinite blessings my wife bestows upon me, and to let go of the struggle to get her past the obstacles that I viewed as being a hindrance to our growth in the area of intimacy.

Lo and behold, when the focus was shifted, and the pressure removed, God stepped in and proved that miracles do happen, and hearts do change!
Without trying to cover the numerous and beautiful changes that began to occur, I’ll just say that I believe that the number one factor that led us to where we are now, was learning through all of the ups and downs we faced, to talk to each other. Not making conversation, but opening up to each other, and learning who we are as unique individuals. The by product of that was a level of trust and familiarity that allowed for vulnerability on both of our parts, without fear judgement.

As for the happy ending? Well, here goes.

My wife had her very first orgasm 23 years into our marriage, at the age of 46! Our sex life is ridiculously amazing as compared to our “younger, thinner, but clueless” years , and laughter is as much a part of it as moans of pleasure are!

I had become resigned to the fact that things were just the way they were, and never imagined that they’d surpass my wildest dreams. But God is great, and He wants our relationships with our spouses to be all that He intended.
I thank Him for that every time I have the honor of becoming one flesh with the most beautiful woman I’ve ever laid eyes on…??

TD

When I first started masturbating in my teen years instead of having an orgasm, I just felt like I had to urinate. After a while, I pushed passed the bathroom feeling and started experiencing a true orgasm…..but still had to urinate afterwards. It took a few years before my body stopped feeling that way and stayed with just an orgasm.

For some women having an orgasm can be uncomfortable physically at first. We fall away from “falling over the edge” into orgasm because we aren’t sure what’ll happen to us. It is a loss of self control in a way. But, boy, once you do….wow!!