Comments on: 5 Questions to Ask about Your Sexual Intimacy

By: J

Sat, 24 Mar 2018 17:29:03 +0000

In reply to Marie226. Marie, please go check out my friend Chris's website: The Forgiven Wife. She speaks directly to wives in your situation who dislike sex, want to change, but feel at a loss for how to move forward. I know her resources could help you. Many blessings!

By: Marie226

Marie226 — Sat, 24 Mar 2018 13:48:32 +0000

I’m here reading articles I never thought I’d read. We have had issues in this area for many years and it’s finally come to a head where I am completely disengaged and don’t care. And I mean as a whole in my marriage. Lots of hurt that I guess I don’t let go of so it’s easier to just close up completely. Hubs has been open with me and i am realizing the errs of my ways and that physical intimacy is huge. I dislike sex. I often feel intense sadness after and cannot sleep. I don’t initiate because I’m extremely shy and don’t even know what I would do to initiate which is a problem. But it has to change. I have to change. I’ve been praying and I’m not sure what else to do but fake it till I make it? How does one initiate sex when tbey dont actually want it but know their spouse needs it? I want to grow in this area and move forward but I’m at a loss.

By: From A Porn Scene Mentality To Intimacy With Your Wife | Something to Stu Over

Mon, 12 Mar 2018 21:08:05 +0000

[…] check out this great post by J over at Hot, Holy & Humorous entitled 5 Questions to Ask about Your Sexual Intimacy. Actually, there are valid points for both genders in reference to sexual intimacy within […]

By: E

Sun, 11 Mar 2018 23:30:07 +0000

In reply to Holy terror.

I would rephrase that question to ‘does doing this (or wanting to) with my spouse (or just in general) align with Gods Word?’

Or another question could be ‘is **** beneficial to me and my spouse?’ using Paul as inspiration, just because something isn’t forbidden, doesn’t mean it’s actually helpful!

By: Mark

Mark — Sun, 11 Mar 2018 03:31:02 +0000

I think for many, (including myself) during the early part of my marriage the single most thing I was fearful of, was my “performance”. As we matured, we chatted and realized intimacy isn’t a performance but instead an experience. (we may like a certain rawness, but that has nothing to do with performing)

I think for me to proclaim that my spouse thinks our sex life is excellent would be slightly boastful, I can say it wasn’t so excellent in our earlier years, but still fulfilling.

I like to consider question #3, as to understand that the intimacy between spouses needs to consensual. When one wants to be intimate and the other can’t or doesn’t, or maybe the moment isn’t respect needs to be understood. (including hygiene or something else)

It seems at age 58, the most important thing that my spouse and I are doing more of, is emotionally connecting. So in respect, both of us are nurturing one another.
It was a journey, because both her parents and mine weren’t emotionally connected so we didn’t have mentors to teach us or even understand what is was.
We were committed to making things work until we discovered what it was.
When spouses are emotionally connected, (in my opinion) it can turn ordinary sex into good sex, turn good sex into great sex, and great sex into euphoric sex.

Truthfully, I wish society were to focus on what it means to be emotionally connected rather than mostly sex, especially with young couples, sure some might be connected. (while many aren’t, judging by the amount of divorce or unhappy marriages) So pursuing an understanding of emotional connection is key. First off is not raising voices or being critical of everything.

The last question, is good, as some may want to do Zumba,, or watch a movie, but at 58, whatever my wife and I are doing together (or not doing) we find ourselves savoring the time we have left together on this earth. I’m sure that most of the readers here want to do the same with their spouses. (personally, my wife and I don’t like to spend too much time apart)

By: J

Sat, 10 Mar 2018 17:27:06 +0000

In reply to Holy terror. Having heard various things through the years (interesting email inbox), the answer is probably no, but could be yes. ;)

By: Holy terror

Holy terror — Sat, 10 Mar 2018 16:49:54 +0000

How about,
“Does doing this (or wanting to) with my spouse make me a perv?”