Have you asked her why? She may have received some bad messages or perhaps she has some hygiene concerns (some women do). I’d just want to know why, so you can start working on the underlying issue.

He’s never taken the Love language quiz but yeah I’m pretty sure his love language -Both giving and receiving is touch. Haven’t figured out his second top one.

Alissa,

Do you know if physical touch is your husband’s primary love language?

Thanks for this, Alissa! Yeah, I think husbands wanting more touching there is common, but the scenario described didn’t seem typical to me. And before marriage, I (sadly) had experience with fair number of men, so I felt reasonably comfortable saying that — it just wasn’t a request I dealt with. So I’m finding others’ answers to this question interesting.

M,

I came to marriage in the same place you are — completely inexperienced. My husband was also a virgin, which I am so thankful for, but definitely did have more education in that realm than I did. Anyways, I just wanted to tell you that your husband isn’t the only one:) Maybe this shows my inexperience with more than one man, but I was actually surprised when I saw that J didn’t think this was normal. From day 1 I’ve known that my husband enjoys being touched anytime and all the time: in the car, sitting beside each other, in bed, in the shower, just for a second in passing in the kitchen. It makes him interested, but definitely doesn’t need to lead to sex for him. That is likely because he’s not a sexually deprived man though. Nothing puts a bigger smile on his face and it’s definitely huge bonus points when I do it un-asked for. I try to be intentional to randomly touch him at least a couple times a day or so, because I know it means a lot to him. When we’ve talked about it he’s just simply said that it “just feels nice”, “makes him feel close to me”, and “makes him feel like I like him”. As an inexperienced newly wed, I have to admit that I had some struggles with it, it wasn’t anything I expected, it felt so awkward and foreign, and to be completely honest I wanted him to be completely besotted with me and my body and desire for his penis to be inside me (though there was plenty of that as well), rather than having him have this huge desire to just experience touch. His desire for touch made me almost a little insecure, wondering if maybe my body wasn’t doing a “good enough job”. But over the last few years I’ve slowly realized it isn’t any sinister thing, or any dissatisfaction with my body. He’s a godly, loving, pure-minded, and unselfish man…who loves my touch in addition to more traditional forms of intimacy.

So I don’t have male celebrities I’m into, but long before I married my husband I used to watch old, classic movies. And oh my, I had a thing then for Cary Grant. Recently, however, when I’ve seen him in movies or photos, I think how he wouldn’t even be considered good-looking these days because he doesn’t have that seemingly requisite build. Which is sad, because he really was a handsome man. Anyway…

Thank you, mepharisee! Yes, we are very newly wed and in addition to that, on a scale of inexperience to experience sexually, he spent the bulk of his adulthood away from God and we are about as far apart in this area as possible. So I’m a new experience, in my inexperience as much as he is to me on the flip side. I was more curious than anything and did not want to ask friends. He usually comments on it or jokingly puts my hand down there, but never in a mean way. I love him and if that is something that is comforting to them, then I’ll gladly do it. Thank you for your input.