Comments on: Godly Sources of Intimacy with Guest Daniel Purcell

By: J

Fri, 01 Jun 2018 14:21:50 +0000

In reply to Trista.

Yes, I think Theology of the Body was an important factor. I’ve heard such great things about that from long-time Catholics!

Both Protestant and Catholic faiths have had some historical mistakes that we have needed to address. I’m really glad for those who speak up clearly about God’s design for sex. And I really do think the Church’s message on sex is getting better, slowly but surely.

By: Trista

Trista — Fri, 01 Jun 2018 13:58:36 +0000

In reply to J.

Hi my fellow Catholics! It is nice to see us all here. I bet we felt a little hurt by the first comment…but perhaps in the past, we can all acknowledge, Church members (whether priests/religious or laity) painted sex in negative terms. Official Church teaching was not always correctly conveyed. I think those of us commenting are in our 20s or 30s, and we’ve had better teaching through Theology of the Body. However, even my own mom gave me a message of “Sex is a good thing made by God…but don’t think about or do it until you’re married.”

For those who were hurt by poor Church teaching, we pray for healing and peace!

By: J

Tue, 29 May 2018 23:09:55 +0000

In reply to Stephanie. I believe the Church — Catholic and Protestant — has begun address the subject of sex in marriage more thoughtfully and effectively in recent years. For some time, both branches of the Christian faith held views that discouraged sexual pleasure even within marriage, by pitting body and spirit against one another, by implying or sometimes outright stating that sex was intended solely for procreation, and by urging women to be the gatekeepers of sexual behavior before and within marriage. I'm not implying anything about Catholicism that I don't also believe here about Protestantism. You can read more about my thoughts here: Q&A with J: Why Doesn't the Church Talk about Song of Songs?

By: Stephanie

Stephanie — Tue, 29 May 2018 21:21:54 +0000

Hi J!
Enjoying your site! I was wondering about the above commenter saying she was a “recovering Catholic” and about you saying the Church needs an “awakening”? I am Catholic, have been my whole life, and thank God for it and for the truths the Holy Catholic Church has preserved and taught. Catholicism is where true respect for women, marriage, holy marriage l, etc….came from! So I was a little confused by these comments….I am passionate about marriage and hot and holy sex in marriage and I honestly would like to know what it is that people need more from the Church…the Church has written, taught and instructed on all these matters before anyone else. But, I agree it’s hard to find good info these days from Catholic sources on marriage. There seem to be far more Protestant marriage bloggers than Catholic. I agree. So again, in earnesty, I would like to know what you think people are not getting from the Catholic Church? Again, I was raised Roman Catholic, and am raising my six children in my loved Faith, and I feel that my view on sexuality was whole and holy!:)

By: J

Tue, 29 May 2018 19:29:51 +0000

In reply to Eric. Engaged Marriage is also a website/blog run by a Catholic couple about godly sex in marriage. There are good resources for Catholics out there, but their Church has also had to have an awakening on this topic.

By: Eric

Eric — Tue, 29 May 2018 12:36:04 +0000

There is a good Catholic book about sex in marriage. It is called:
Holy Sex!: A Catholic Guide to Toe-Curling, Mind-Blowing, Infallible Loving by Gregory K. Popcak PhD

By: The Baby Mama

The Baby Mama — Tue, 29 May 2018 08:43:56 +0000

I don’t usually comment, but I have to on this one: While I am still walking the journey (It is a journey, right…???) I have seen some amazing things happen in my marriage. And it took lots of prayer, lots of research, a little (lots!!!) guidance which all combined together is intention, i.e. being intentional. I still have a long way to go, but I am excited about the changes being brought about by the Grace of God. Honouring God in your marriage and in the marriage bed is so, so worth it!

By: Jes

Jes — Mon, 28 May 2018 22:05:53 +0000

Thanks for the app recommendation.

By: J

Mon, 28 May 2018 16:38:44 +0000

In reply to Catherine Gray. Thank you so much! What a beautiful testimony. So thrilled you found me and hope you enjoy the app! (I know you will.)

By: Catherine Gray

Catherine Gray — Mon, 28 May 2018 16:01:53 +0000

Bravo. I second this, and I can’t say enough about you, J. Parker and your site. It was one of the first sites that we found, and it restored our marriage. You see, we didn’t know our marriage needed restored because we had always been amazing communicators. But if you only have sex 3 to 4 times a year, well, there’s a problem. That was the kicker. Neither one of us knew there was a problem because we thought that was simply “okay.” My husband became very vulnerable one night in January, and laid his heart out to me over how he made a mistake 2 years ago and never apologized for it. I taught my girls growing up all the time the dad always apologizes in a 24-hour period; this was actually the first time he did NOT apologize…at all. While I forgave him and moved on, he said (in Jan) that he knew that he had hit the lowest point spiritually as the head of the house and he needed to change. He worked hard at changing, and there was noticeable improvements, however he never addressed the issue with me via communication. After baring his soul this January and finally apologizing the next morning when we woke up it was as if God had peeled a piece of Saran wrap from my eyeballs and I saw my husband in a completely different light. We’re going on 30 years of marriage this August. Our lives have been incredible together, yet both of us fell into a deep dark hole that Satan created to try to destroy our marriage. I don’t even have any idea how I stumbled upon your site, J. But I started to read, and then I devoured.
Then one night in February, my husband confessed to me that he had done some “manscaping,” shall we say? It was something I didn’t even notice. I asked him when? He said two years ago. I was sad that I didn’t notice but when he brought it to my attention, I was enthralled and delighted. The next step was that he had gotten a ring, (I will leave it at that so others can look it up,) to help him because he was having occasional difficulties with erection. For the past two years, I just assumed he wasn’t very much interested in me anymore. Again, what a terrible way to communicate!? As a doctor, my family can tell me anything, correct? Yet it just goes to show how hard it is to be vulnerable even with somebody that you’ve been with for 32 years. The ring solved a problem and then we started our journey on what I call restorative intimacy.
Literally spiritually being intimate with my husband because this is what God wanted for us.
Daniel, I can so relate. I wasn’t sure where to search out there or even what was available in a Christian marriage because growing up Roman Catholic, anything besides PIV is simply “wrong.” ( I have been a recovering Catholic for a long time now :-)) The more I read, the more I shared, the more my husband read and now close to four months later, I can’t even begin to describe how sweet our relationship is. I am off to download the premium app; I’ve purchased your books, J. and I am eternally thankful for you!