I’m no expert, like J, but I can tell you what works for me. If your husbands looks don’t turn you on, just turn the lights off and remember him when he was attractive to you. The more sex you have the closer you’ll get, regardless. Maybe encourage him to work out and eat healthier bc you love him and don’t want him to die. If your clit gets sore, keep your legs closed; don’t even let him go there until you’re ready. It doesn’t feel good to be rubbed there when you’re dry. Talk and tell him why or what you like. Sometimes when I’m not in the mood, I’d rather him rub up and down my body or my backside instead of right to the point; like teasing. Let him know not to start there and kiss the inside of your thighs until you tell him you’re ready. Hope this helps.

Bless your heart! And I will be writing soon about missed orgasms. Yes, what you describe can happen, but I want to research some more before I give blanket advice. Hang in there… And yes, sex is meant to feel good for you too!

So, I would never reply to this if you knew me but since you don’t….it breaks my heart! My advice is that you should buy J’s book for your wife and Google how to help her succeed in this area. Pray for your wife to climax as well; not only before but during intimacy. Pray that God will help you please her which will strengthen your marriage and relationship with Christ. Pray continuously. Also, I’m no expert and I’m sure I’m wrong about this but in my eyes there are 2 types of orgasms. One outwardly, stimulating clitorally, and inwardly, g-spot. I feel like outwardly is easier to achieve so I would start there. Inwardly is much stronger and in my opinion more like what the man expriences. Maybe pray and focus on what she likes and you’ll both enjoy the gift that God designed for marriage even more.

I’m fairly specific in the book, with practical tips to try, both in that chapter and others.

I also wish the most common analogy wasn’t the first drop of a roller coaster. That is my least favorite part of the ride. It makes me nervous, and if I’m being honest, so does the idea of having an orgasm.

I read this post on the same day I was watching Jane the Virgin on Netflix. It coincidentally was the episode where she and her husband finally have sex. She doesn’t have an orgasm the first few times, but by the end the episode, everything is resolved. I cried my eyes out and then had to take a nap.

Oh my, why didn’t someone tell her?! Glad y’all figured it out. Blessings!