I have some questions in turn for you: Why are you at a church that doesn’t help your marriage? Can you find one? I would be hunting down the church in my vicinity that provides regular marriage assistance and even in-house counseling. There are churches that do not actively promote the myths, but instead honor intimate marriage.

Well I have tried, but she doesn’t think we need counseling because everything suits her just fine as it is. Claims she doesn’t even need the usual emotional stuff when I have tried. I do anything romantic and she tells me I don’t need to do any of that either.

“Gnostic-type” church is of no use either. I have either been told, or heard preached, all of the “man-myths” from your next “myth” article. Un-married sex is of the flesh, not sex itself. Otherwise, what are you saving “it” for? Otherwise, why entire book of Song of Solomon? That is skipped every time the Bible in a year is taught or mentioned. Not even on the “reading list”. And will absolutely not be preached even to the adults or married folks.

As far as any of them are concerned I just need to pray more. Tried that, hasn’t worked for 33 years.

Cannot have sex with Jesus. That is what marriage is supposed to be for. If she wanted to be a nun, why did she even convert from Catholicism? Why get married and ruin my life? Or any other man’s for that matter?

Well, clearly there’s some underlying issue for your wife that needs to be discovered. It’s not just a matter of you doing “the emotional stuff”—which is important—but also knowing why she is so resistant to sexual intimacy. What happened in her background, or what messages about sex has she absorbed, or how does she feel about herself as a sexual being, or what’s going on with her physically? Something is there, and I’d be wanting to dig and find out what it is.

And when you DO emotional “stuff”, and she still DOESN’T?

For 33 years? When she just “doesn’t see what the big deal is” but claims to enjoy sex on those exceedingly rare occasions when SHE needs sex. Every 6 months if I am exceedingly lucky and don’t have ANY demerits on her looooooong list (and getting longer) of don’ts?

1 strike and too bad. And anything I might need is just my cross to bear. “I don’t have to if I don’t want to and you cannot make me.” And not “allowed” to do anything that (in her twisted inhuman mind) might be perceived as an attempt to set a mood.

All about her for 33 years and if I don’t like it…tough, you are married now. You can take care of it yourself. Never mind that men get married so they don’t have to take care of it themselves any more.

Church useless too as a bonus.

Basically just enough that I cannot claim abandonment and finally escape this hell on Earth.

But marriage is wonderful! HA! Humor is about all of my sanity I have left.

Oh I agree completely that she must have felt great about it.

On Jacob and Rachel: The Bible says, “So Jacob served seven years for Rachel, and they seemed to him but a few days because of the love he had for her.” That’s a pretty big wooing to work a job you don’t want to do for that long, and I have to believe that she knew about his feelings for her.

As a boy growing up, my head was filled with so many lies about marriage generally and sex specifically. It was not enough to have the lies exposed. I had to learn the biblical truth and dwell on that.