Comments on: Q&A with J: Is Sex Disconnected from Love for Men?

By: J

Mon, 24 May 2021 16:08:03 +0000

In reply to Gky. I didn't tackle that, because (1) it's not my focus here on the blog, and (2) I've known good Christians who believe strict creationism and good Christians who believe in macro-evolution (guided by God's hand) and everything in between. I have my own take about how the world began and developed, but the specifics of our origins are neither agreed upon across Christendom nor a salvation issue. What does matter is people believing that God is the Creator, however He chose to do it, and—for my ministry in particular—that God created male, female, and sexual intimacy between them in the covenant relationship of marriage.

By: Gky

Gky — Mon, 24 May 2021 02:54:47 +0000

I noticed a reply by you to a post by Tim West on August 20th, 2019. Tim mentioned men had been conditioned over many years of EVOLUTION. Why is it you did not address the mention of EVOLUTION? You either believe in CREATION or EVOLUTION. As a Christian I and this is supposed to be a Christian post then I thought this would have been called out. No need to get into a debate with the author but surely as a Christian you could have rebutted his suggestion of evolution.

By: J

Mon, 28 Oct 2019 15:39:52 +0000

In reply to Doug. I agree that the underlying problem is a man gawking after images of other women. But how is porn not to blame for some of that, by providing such an easy way for men to gawk? Porn is a huge problem for many marriages, not to mention that the industry itself is guilty of heinous acts against people, including minors. Again, I agree with your premise. But I won't let porn off the hook for the damage it does.

By: Melanie

Melanie — Sat, 05 Oct 2019 12:30:34 +0000

“Honestly, it sounds like sex and love are not connected enough for you.”

I think you nailed it with this comment. Not just for this woman, but for many many women. Messed up ideas about sex/love cause so many women (and I’m sure men too) all kinds of struggles.

By: Terry

Terry — Wed, 02 Oct 2019 13:17:51 +0000

I was glad to read Paul’s comments, as I probably did base my impressions of adult men on my observations of teenage boys – although one boss I had did comment that men don’t change much after 14. (His business partner reportedly commented about the breast size of a job applicant; but he was a jerk in many respects anyway.) And I suppose my observations of adult married men have been rosier (at least within the Church) than those of young men in their teens and early 20’s. I have also found it refreshing to have conversations with married men, as it’s understood that they’re in love with someone else and thus my interaction with them won’t be taken as flirtation.

Having gained a greater understanding of men’s need for love through sex, I’m wondering now why so many men continue to use women purely for sexual pleasure – ? Is there some sense of “validation” they receive from the act itself, even when it is separate from love? Do they believe the lies coming from other men that they need to rack up their “score” in bedding as many women as possible in order to be “men” and garner respect from other men? If this type of man is indeed in the minority, why do the ones who object to being portrayed as mindless sex-machines not do more to combat and correct this perception? Women can do their part in shunning the “players” and maintaining high standards for themselves, but ultimately it is up to the men (e.g., organizations like Promise Keepers – anyone remember them?) to call out other men.

By: J

Tue, 01 Oct 2019 12:50:04 +0000

In reply to Dan. Thanks, Dan!

By: Dan

Dan — Mon, 30 Sep 2019 20:50:37 +0000

This is a great post, thank you for taking the time to outline your responses to the individual comments. I feel they are on point in every way, especially the comment where you feel the lady doesnt have enough of a connection between sex and love. Of course her issues may be from men in the past that have hurt her, because we all know those men do exist. If that’s the case, I hate to hear she was treated so poorly! But anyway I just wanted to say your explanations are spot on with how I feel about my wife. I want her and her only. Sex and love are intertwined for men and I’m finding it easier to see the older I get.

By: A Loveliness of Links ~ August 2019 | The Forgiven Wife

A Loveliness of Links ~ August 2019 | The Forgiven Wife — Fri, 06 Sep 2019 11:02:20 +0000

[…] Q&A with J: Is Sex Disconnected from Love for Men? Hot, Holy & Humorous […]

By: Jordan

Jordan — Fri, 23 Aug 2019 05:07:31 +0000

Your point on men wanting more than just sex from women is so spot on! I heard this mantra over and over “Well he’s a man and there’s only one thing he’s looking for”. The sad part is that I heard this from women in particular all the time growing up, and even in adulthood. It essentially reduces men to animals who can’t control themselves, it assigns motives where there often times aren’t any, and is quite frankly disrespectful.

It’s a shame this thought process has become so popular in our society.

By: Paul Byerly

Paul Byerly — Fri, 23 Aug 2019 03:02:16 +0000

In reply to J. @J - Of course we can raise our kids to be ready before 30. It won't work for all kids, but a parent can do a lot to get them there.