No, of course you’re not wrong to feel that way! Sexual intimacy is a intimacy—a form of uniting with your spouse. It’s not the only one, but it does matter. If you’re interested, come check out my community for higher desire wives.

It’s been over 2 months now since we last were close to one another, I believe from what I’ve read that I am the one with the higher drive. He just isn’t interested. But he is aroused enough in himself to use pornography to pleasure himself. I feel so low and rejected finding this out. Like I’m no longer good enough for him. I’ve tried to talk to him about it but all I get is that it’s off putting me “going on about it” al the time.

It’s like I’m losing him, I don’t know how much longer I can go on like this with him. We have been together for 6 years, had a child together. Am I wrong to want to feel sexually close to him?

Oh, I’m so sorry. Your story is heartbreaking! I pray for you to find comfort and strength. Thanks for sharing honestly about your struggles.

I am commenting here to STRONGLY ENCOURAGE you to take your communication with your spouse and your sex life, VERY seriously before it is too late. I, the wife, am the HD spouse, but that was not always the case. We are only in our 50s and can no longer have intercourse because of medications my husband HAS to take. He has tried changing medications, taking ED meds, injections in his penis, etc., with no good results. When we were first married, we knew very little about sex, so it was very vanilla. Then we got busy with kids, life, etc. Then he had an affair (unrelated to frequency of sex) and it took time to heal emotionally and to want to be intimate again. Now that my sex drive is the highest it’s ever been, he cannot physically have intercourse.
Because we never communicated about it before and I never told him wanted more than plain missionary until only he reached orgasm (no oral, no different positions, no experimenting to find ways to give me an orgasm), I don’t feel comfortable talking about it now. He feels very extremely guilty, embarrassed, and unmanly because of his inability. I have tried to encourage him that it is not his fault, to no avail. So I don’t want to tell him now that he could still be sexual with me by doing things other than intercourse, so I won’t be physically frustrated.
All of that was to reiterate to all of you – DONT WAIT to tell your spouse what you want and feel because you might be too late.

Ooh, that’s a good insight. Thanks. (And hugs!)

Like I should be able to handle this why am I struggling so much with it? Not wanting to be selfish but still feeling that need for closeness with my husband. Weak because I should be able to be more understanding of my husband’s need for a lack of sex to.

It’s not just women who drag peripheral issues into the bedroom. Men do this too. They can be gatekeepers and “graders” too.

Each and every word you presented is perfect match for me:I don’t know a person has so many feelings unless o saw ur post:I am stunned by accuracy and my situation: u must did a great research