I’ve heard and read that us guys tend to compartmentalize a lot, and I think there’s something to that. At the same time, I know I have to on my job, or I’d never get anything done. I’ve also heard that “multi-tasking” is nothing more than fast paced compartmentalizing, and think there’s something to that also.

Applied to this discussion, for me it tends to morph into perfectionism, waiting until all the pieces of my life align exactly as I would like, before even considering initiating intimacy – which, of course is a very tall order.

Repression – yes, I have thought I was past this one. An older relative told me once when I was very young, “Wayne, you have the memory of an elephant!” And, intentionally or not, I’ve spent much of my life proving her right ever since.

I am a witness that memory is a two-edged sword. It is helpful in citing scripture references for instance, and in remembering pertinent facts in day to day living. And yes, in remembering incidents that would otherwise be repressed. But sometimes I wish I was better at forgetting things I need to forget, too.

So I’ll own this one too, as something that can interfere with he healthy sex, whether the memory itself is sex related or not. Some of mine are, some are not.

Well, it’s a start. Is this making sense?

Thanks!

Yes, I am the problem,
yes, I got it wrong,
living out the vision
of a cliche’d country song.
I didn’t bring my A-game
to my marriage or my wife.
I thought that I could live the same,
and thus diminished life.
It is now sadly much too late,
much time has gone on by.
God has in store a different fate
and I am going to die.
I gave too little, that’s the key;
what was held back now dies with me.

Thank you!

I’ve marked this blog post for notification, so I’ll be back. Also identified two defense mechanisms; there are probably more, but gonna start with the easy stuff.