Daily Archives: February 5, 2020

101 Words for Your Private Parts (But No Curse Words)

Periodically, I’ve come across lists of words people use for erogenous zones and genitalia. From what I recall, all of those had both good ideas and icky ideas.

In an effort to equip Christians with a lot of sexy ideas, I’ve compiled a list of 101 words for private areas, none of which are curse words or generally considered vulgar. Still, make sure your choices are okay with your specific mate!

Some words are scientific, some straightforward, some poetic, some funny. But the intent of this list is to inspire you to speak positively and creatively about your body and your spouse’s body.

I have a feeling this post will bring readers who don’t usually come to Hot, Holy & Humorous. If you’re one of those, you should know that I write for married couples and encourage you to check out what God says about sexual intimacy!

Breasts

A woman’s breasts includes fatty tissue, areolas, and nipples. Breasts come in various sizes and shapes, including athletic, bell-shaped, east-west, and round.

Whatever they look like, though, a woman’s breasts tend to be an erogenous zone for one or both spouses. As Proverbs 5:19 says to a husband about his wife: “May her breasts satisfy you always, may you ever be intoxicated with her love.”

Here’s a variety of ways to refer to a wife’s breasts:

  1. bon bons
  2. boobs
  3. bosom
  4. bust
  5. chest
  6. chesticles / breasticles
  7. chi chis
  8. coconuts
  9. cookies
  10. cupcakes
  11. fawns
  12. fruit
  13. the girls
  14. Grand Tetons (or another mountain reference)
  15. lady humps
  16. lovelies
  17. mangoes (from Bend It Like Beckham)
  18. nipples
  19. pillows
  20. rack
  21. second base
  22. tatas
  23. taters
  24. twins
  25. yabos (from Hocus Pocus)

Vulva

Vulva refers to all the external female genitalia, including the pubic mound, labia majora, labia minora, clitoral bulb, vaginal opening, and Bartholin’s gland ducts (pea-sized openings where secretions emerge).

Song of Songs seems to prefer the word “garden” in reference to the wife’s vulva, but below are many options.

  1. bajingo
  2. bud
  3. cave of mysteries
  4. clitoris
  5. cookie
  6. core
  7. flower (also rose, tulip)
  8. folds
  9. garden
  10. honey pot
  11. hooha
  12. kitty
  13. lady bits
  14. (vaginal) lips
  15. magician’s hat (his part disappears inside)
  16. muffin
  17. nub
  18. papaya
  19. petals
  20. sheath
  21. sweet spot
  22. tunnel of love / love tunnel
  23. vagina
  24. vajayjay
  25. velvet glove
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Penis

The penis is a fascinating body part. The more one learns about it, the more one appreciates God’s creation. (See Are You a Fan of Your Husband’s Man-Part?)

Given how many labels men have come up with for this (favorite) body part they own, this probably could have been a post with 101 words for penis. But we’ll stick to the ones below.

  1. boner
  2. erection
  3. Excalibur (yes, like King Arthur’s legendary sword)
  4. fire hose
  5. hard-on
  6. head
  7. hot dog
  8. johnson
  9. joystick
  10. love muscle
  11. love pistol
  12. man-part
  13. member
  14. Mr. Happy
  15. mushroom (especially for a circumcised penis)
  16. pecker
  17. peter
  18. phallus
  19. popsicle (see my own post on this!)
  20. rocket
  21. rod
  22. sausage
  23. snake
  24. soldier (or hey, general!)
  25. stiffy
  26. tool
  27. trouser monkey
  28. wand
  29. weenie / wiener
  30. willy
  31. wood
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Testicles

Having raised two sons, I’ve also heard a lot of names for testicles. (You moms of boys know what I’m talking about!) These delicate semen factories get lots of labels as well.

Here are some options for what to call hubby’s testicles:

  1. balls
  2. berries
  3. cojones
  4. dangling participles
  5. fruit basket
  6. gonads
  7. huevos (Spanish for “eggs”)
  8. jewels (or family jewels)
  9. junk
  10. marbles
  11. nards
  12. nuts
  13. package
  14. pearls
  15. rocks
  16. sack
  17. scrotum
  18. stones
  19. testes
  20. wonkas (apparently because they’re between a willy and a chocolate factory)

Okay, that wraps it up! Be sure to check these out with your spouse! We should show respect for one another in the bedroom.

If you want, you can download a checklist. Fill out one checklist together or print two copies, fill them out separately, and then share your results.

A big thank you to the ladies in my higher drive wife group who made great suggestions, many of which are included here.