Personally, I would not call anal sex “adventurous,” as you can see by this post. But as for your “What if my husband and I both it?” I shed light here on the problems with anal sex, and I would point out that your clean approach (which is a really good idea) doesn’t address the stretching of that area over time, but you might have a different way of dealing with that too.

But toward toward the end, I made a point of saying:

“Some good Christians think anal sex is okay. I think they’re wrong, they think I’m wrong, and we don’t think either is unsaved.” What you do with your husband in your marriage bed is between y’all and God! Blessings to you both.

What if my husband and I both enjoy it? We’re very adventurous with sex and sometimes do anal to change things up but we both like it a lot. Especially when I was in the second trimester of pregnancy it felt more comfortable to do anal. We’re very careful to be clean, using a condom for anal and never going back and forth between vaginal and anal without proper cleaning. We do oral too but are careful to be clean with that too.

I still have concerns about the prudence and health of the act, but the decision ultimately rests with the couple. I did think it odd that your comment said “If the wife eventually desire anal sex…” — which does make it sound like there was some pressure involved to get her there. Maybe that’s a misread, but if not, that approach is a problem, and she may not want it like you think she does but rather feels she must or should.

Hello.

If the wife eventually desire anal sex and experience no pain and does it without even asking? If the husband doesn’t mind and wishes to please his wife? If there is no pornography involved in neither one?

Just the question? I don’t think the question should be out of bounds, but any insistence should be. If his “ask” was insisting you do it, then yeah, I could see the problem. All that said, I think you need to talk to him about your feelings and work through the conflict and resentment. Saying a prayer for you!

Yes, I think it’s worth just saying something like, “By the way, if you’re thinking someday I’ll agree to that, I won’t. It’s just not something I’m interested in, so let’s focus on other things.” Hope that helps!

Please tell him no. You have every right to say that you’ll do these things, but not those. Especially when this is hurting your own experience of sexual intimacy. Sex is supposed to be MUTUALLY pleasurable, not just for him.

As for your worry that “he won’t be able to get excited without it”: Yes, he may have to relearn arousal in some ways, but that’s entirely doable. And ultimately, it will lead to better sex for both of you! You’ll be more enthusiastic about participating, and that in turn will benefit his experience.

If you struggle to bring it up, write a note or talk to him on a walk when you’re side by side and not having to look him in the eye. But please, speak to your husband about your discomfort.

Here, here!

Yup. It’s the porn Influence, undoubtedly.