“Repentance, redemption, and healing are more than possible in Christ!” Exactly right. But there are so many who carry a load of guilt & shame into marriage–and often it’s for having been abused, rather than for their own chosen premarital behavior. Dr. Irwin Lutzer tells of the young woman who could (or would) not believe that God had forgiven her abortion, though “many times” she’d confessed, on the basis of I John 1:9: “If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.”

One summer I and a young man who is now a successful pastor were team-teaching the Song of Solomon to an adult SS class. We were following a very conservative denominational SS lesson manual, and were both careful to stay within the guidelines provided, so as not to offend older members of the class. I did mention the word “sex,” and an elderly shouted, “sex, sex, sex–I never ever want to hear that word again.” She stormed out of the church.

Neither I nor the other teacher was able to figure out what I’d said wrong. My take is that there was something in this dear lady’s past that she’d never dealt with. So . . . not everyone is ready to accept the S of S. Only this week I read that the Keswick movement, which is still echoing in the halls of several well-known Christian colleges, taught that the S of S was only an allegory. J, you’ve made a great point that it “begs the question: why would sexual imagery be used if God didn’t think sex in marriage was good and beautiful and intimate?”

Thanks!
What really makes me sad is how I carried it (the lack of affection) over to my kids without even thinking about it. I feel like I need to try to explain it all some day to them.

That’s sad. Your whole family missed out. Sending you a virtual hug!

Thank you! And wow to 32 years. ♥

No. I don’t believe any of the familial relationships—wife, mom, daughter, sister—etc. will hold in Heaven. We will have a special connection based on memory of our earthly lives, but in Heaven we’ll just be us in relation to the Father. At the same time, I’m not arrogant enough to think I actually know what will happen in Heaven. Most of the language about it in the Bible seems symbolic more than descriptive of the actual experience. I just trust God to figure it out, and I’ll roll with whatever happens. I concern myself about the life I’m leading now, and He can prepare the next one for me (John 14:3).

so i would like to be a little more specific in my question: will there be exclusivity in these relationships in eternity? and in the millennium?

thank you very much J!☺

My answer: No. (See Matthew 22:23-30 and Luke 20:34-36.) You can read more in this Crosswalk.com article on Marriage in Heaven.

Mind you, I believe that I will have a special affinity for my husband in heaven, with beautiful memories of our time together, but we won’t be married. Our relationship will be different, but still delightful in the presence of our Heavenly Father.

(I have some wonderful readers who are Latter Day Saints and have a different perspective on this point. But I’m an evangelical Protestant and disagree with their interpretation.)