“It was this pastor’s impression…” Again, we don’t know. So I’m not going to presume that a priest physically examined a woman’s body in that way. Perhaps, but perhaps not.

Thanks so much!

Important to share this perspective to others who don’t have anyone to ask these about. We’re bombarded by the pop culture nowadays and topics like this aren’t discussed enough to help our singles transition to marriage life.

“Now, alas, it is so hideous and frightful a pleasure that physicians compare it with epilepsy or falling sickness. Thus an actual disease is linked with the very activity of procreation. We are in the state of sin and of death; therefore we also undergo this punishment, that we cannot make use of woman without the horrible passion of lust and, so to speak, without epilepsy.”

So romantic!

Much could also be pointed out about attitudes toward women. We need to purge these aberrations and get back to the Word of God. This is critical for singles. My wife and I met years back in a large mega church. On Sunday nights they offered a smorgasbord of activities. One was a movie series on marriage in a large theater. My fiancé at the time wanted to attend, but was stopped at the door because she was not yet married. And we wonder how Christians enter marriage so uninformed?

It is good for singles to be confronted with your perspectives.

It’s been years since I was a young husband, but I do remember that when my wife was pregnant with our first baby and made an appointment with a male gynecologist that I took a nervous deep breath, then considered that my mom had done the same thing, and said “go ahead.”

As to the Isaiah passage re the examination of Isaiah’s wife, the Scripture text seems a bit ambiguous. I do understand the cross-reference you gave re the hymen blood. However, my own conclusion is based on an observation I once heard from a pastor (now deceased) with a nationally televised ministry. He was expounding on Isaiah 7:14, “a virgin shall conceive and bear a child,” as a parallel prophecy regarding both the birth of Jesus to the virgin Mary, and the birth of Isaiah’s son to the virgin prophetess (who was a virgin until her wedding night with Isaiah). It was this pastor’s impression that in this instance the examination was done before the wedding; and the pastor used this to underscore that the Hebrew word almah here is correctly translated as “virgin” in the King James Bible (as well as most other translations).

Priests likely did not examine a woman’s privates to determine virginity, but rather relied on a bedcloth showing evidence of a broken hymen. (In our world, women are far more likely to break their hymen before their first sex, but that was probably unlikely then.) You can read up on that in Deuteronomy 22.

And I believe I said that I had no problem with seeing a male doctor, even to the point of having a male obstetrician, so I’m not sure why you think my comments are problematic. Moreover, a prudish upbringing or childhood abuse are not necessary to have concerns about when, where, and how we should expose our naked bodies. Isn’t it better to ask these questions than to be cavalier about exposing one’s body to others?

“Prudish,” by the way, is defined as “having or revealing a tendency to be easily shocked by matters relating to sex or nudity.” I can understand your use of that term, therefore, but as Christians the primary issue is not being prudes in the marriage bed. This young man is not; he has zero problem being naked with and for his someday bride. I think that matters most, and on other pieces of the question, it’s okay to disagree and that choice is between him, his wife, and God.

Oh my, it breaks my heart when people blame the victim! I can’t even. You were brave to make it through, brave to write me, and brave to ask God for more! May He comfort and strengthen you.

Thank you J for sharing our stories and not downplaying our fears/hurts.
God bless you