I may need to revisit my copy of Personality Plus first! 😉

I don’t think one can be a Choleric-Phlegmatic as these are polar opposites on the personality chart – which is also a main reason why these types pair up in friendships and marriage (my in-laws being an example). But we’ll see what J has to say when she posts her “Sex and Temperament” article :).

Thank you!

This is a GREAT line for story-telling wives to remember and use! When my hubby knows I’m just looking to share, he’s much more relaxed in the “journey” of the story than if he feels like he needs to listen for a main point/problem I’d like him to help me solve.

Praying for your continued improvement!

Oh, I’m so fascinated by personality types! That’s a good idea. I should mull it over. Thanks!

That’s very interesting as I’ve had enough run-ins with cholerics (albeit mostly non-believers) to know that I could never be married to one as a melancholy. But maybe your and your husband’s individual mixes of personality types – melancholy tempered by either choleric or phlegmatic – is what makes the difference. I think my mom’s mix of temperaments allowed us to be close while I was at home, and yet my dad is also a melancholy so one would think we’d see eye to eye but we didn’t.

Have you written an article on sex and personality types? Maybe you should! 🙂

Good point! (And interestingly enough, I’m a melancholy with a strong splash of choleric. Hubs is melancholy/phlegmatic. 🙂 )

It seems to me that personality also plays a role. I would apparently “meander” while talking to my Choleric/Sanguine mom growing up, and she would often ask me to “shop around for a point”! I’m a strong Melancholy so details and the manner in which I arrived at a particular point matter, at least to me :). I’m not sure how often I do this with my husband (although he does sometimes clarify a main point, “So I need to do “x”?), but if I do he (being a Phlegmatic) seems much more tolerant – and he sometimes does this himself if he’s relaying a funny story about something that happened that day. I might say the difference is whether we’re task or people-oriented, but being task-oriented myself I don’t even fit that rule. I do find the “waffles vs. spaghetti” analogy helpful, though.

Well, the notion of “get to the point!” isn’t something I would say to someone or want said to me. I was merely expressing what happens in your head when you’re struggling to follow and really looking for the main point.

And I agree that some of this stuff is socialization. Though we never had anything like this in our home—”mom can be interrupted at any time and dad cannot”—yet my sons came out pretty much in the male brain category.

And if the scenario you describe about dinner, diapers, school supplies, and getting in the mood is happening, that’s NOT OKAY. There’s multitasking, and there’s being taken advantage of. I agree we should prioritize sex in marriage, but a fair amount of that should be the husband taking on his responsibilities and meeting his wife’s emotional needs so that both spouses can enjoy sexual intimacy.