Comments on: To Good-willed Husbands Who Want a Great Sex Life

By: Anon

Anon — Sat, 17 Sep 2022 23:40:34 +0000

This is such a hard topic. I come back the blog so many times for reminders, resources, and renewal. For that I thank you.

I’ve come to realize my LD wife would have to compromise too much. For her to compromise more requires a physical, mental, and emotional commitment for the times she normally wouldn’t / doesn’t want to for my sake. There are always a 1000 things running in her mind – she can’t just turn it off like a light switch -like I can. And frankly- I’m not so desperate or cruel to want her to fake that. Those conversations don’t have much compromise for me because there isn’t anything more she wants – except less pressure on asking or hinting. To look at it like that my LD wife is the one giving the most ground to reach our ‘compromise’ – and I don’t think that’s fair anymore.

So-I’ve reached the time where I no longer am going to burden her with that conversation because of the guilt it brings, for both of us. Her for frequency and time, and me for feeling like I’m manipulating or begging. Instead – I focus on the content vs satisfied. Am I satisfied-no. But am I content? Very much so. Once or twice a month is enough because we really do have a wonderful marriage, are happy, and I love every part of her. We’ve had the conversations- we’ve done the tips-but the communication drops after a couple weeks and we go to the routine. So rather than pushing – I feel it’s easier to just accept it and move on to living our best lives together. We are such great friends and absolutely have the best marriage in SO MANY ways. I just accept and focus on being content in this sex life. When she does want to I know she really does want too, and that’s enough to be content for me.

By: Mark

Mark — Thu, 21 Oct 2021 18:00:00 +0000

I’m blessed to be married for the last 41 years to my amazing wife.

Best ask I ever made, happy she said yes.

I wish I knew then, what I’ve learned about making love in the last 5-10-15 years. Everything from her physical non-sexual and emotional erogenous zones to understanding how amazingly sensitive she really is to the touch when her nerve endings cause her intimate areas to become inflamed and the non-verbal signals she gives me,

Even outside the bedroom with the little things like when she is sitting at her desk and she is pulling hair away from her neck signaling me to start kissing the back of her neck/shoulder area. Wish I discovered, practiced and understand that technique on her, when we were 20 and newly married.

As I age, I want to continually be more instinctive to the individual needs and desires toward my wife. Seems like every once in awhile a new one crops up we didn’t know that even existed.

By: Andrew

Andrew — Tue, 12 Oct 2021 22:38:30 +0000

This is a great post. I was definitely not this husband for most of our marriage but through Gods grace I’ve been able to overcome my sin (porn, emotional distance, over critical) and am much closer to the husband I want to be and my wife deserves (she would agree). I very much want her to enjoy being sexually intimate with me and to feel satisfied and fulfilled in that area but what do you do when she really has no interest in sex? I’ve always been (much) higher drive and I don’t ever want to give the impression that sex is “just for me” but my wife says she has never been comfortable with me sexually and as far as I can tell seems to be perfectly fine never having sex again. How are you supposed to talk about wanting sex to be for her when she doesn’t want sex at all?

By: How a Good Husband Can Be a Great Lover - Hot, Holy & Humorous

How a Good Husband Can Be a Great Lover - Hot, Holy & Humorous — Mon, 11 Oct 2021 13:00:30 +0000

[…] a recent post, I gave three cheers and a hooray to good-willed husbands who want the best for their wives and marriage. But not every husband who wants the best for their […]

By: Anonymous

Anonymous — Sun, 10 Oct 2021 23:16:25 +0000

In reply to Chris. Wow…that observation is point on!

By: J

Sun, 03 Oct 2021 03:45:41 +0000

In reply to HappyHusband.

By: HappyHusband

HappyHusband — Wed, 29 Sep 2021 23:52:58 +0000

I already have an awesome sex life. My wife is so hot and sexy, she want’s to have sex with me almost as I want to have sex with her. No, it wasn’t always this way, for the first five or so years of our marriage we were still figuring things out, then the kids started coming and we both had to a lot of learning to do. But I just want to say that if you stick with it, start from a place of trust and understanding, for both husband and wife, you can build an awesome sex life.
I would also like to say that you do an awesome job at writing these ideas. My wife and I have learned a lot over the years that we have read your stuff, so thank you.

By: Chris

Chris — Mon, 27 Sep 2021 18:08:46 +0000

Good article, and I agree that the majority of men, as well as women, are looking to be good-willed spouses. I will add just one thing. If wives want to encourage their husbands, be a type of wife your husband can trust. It may not seem obvious, but husbands put themselves in very vulnerable positions as we talk about life with our wives, from our dreams to our intimate desires. It takes an incredible amount of trust to do so, and when that is taken lightly, brushed off, or disregarded, it will shut that communication down fast. I have a wonderful wife, but it can be difficult to trust her with my deepest thoughts at times, so often they are kept to myself. Honest feedback is good, but there can be a fine line between giving feedback and making light of one’s spouses deepest thoughts. Just food for thought.