Comments on: Having “The Talk” with Our Kid

By: Terry

Terry — Fri, 09 Sep 2022 11:00:16 +0000

My “talk” never happened verbally, as my revelation came when my older brother and I observed at perhaps eight or nine years old that two neighborhood dogs were “stuck” together in the street. I was trying to comprehend what the problem was when my brother looked at me and made a gesture that made it click instantly. My first thought was, “Surely not…that’s not what those are for!” After all those were where people went to the bathroom, and the fact that they were complementary was mere coincidence….I did mention what I’d seen to my parents at dinner, who grinned but did not comment further; but I’d already made the connection to human reproduction. My mom did have the “talk” with me about menstruation some years later so I would know what to expect, and I did think this was yucky to think about.

We also had sex education in high school even though by then we all knew how it worked, more or less; but there were two different one-time, special sessions for which we had to get permission slips signed by our parents to attend. In one we were shown a tasteful PBS video and there was a brief Q&A, during which teachers stressed that they would not answer personal questions. A year or two later a traveling drama troop performed a skit about “choices”, the take-away being (presumably) that choices had consequences, emotional and physical – although this being a public school there was no moralizing. From what I gathered in later years the programs at other schools were much more graphic, and I wonder now if schools even ask the parents’ permission. And with the gender dysphoria and homosexual experimentation under the guise of “inclusiveness” that is happening even in middle school (if not elementary?), in addition to the baseline assumption that all teenagers are sexually active, I can’t imagine what these programs are like now.

By: Bethany

Bethany — Thu, 08 Sep 2022 04:27:53 +0000

When I was little, I used to look at this book called A Child Is Born, by late photographer, Lennart Nilsson. He had taken amazing pictures of the wonders of human reproduction, from conception to birth. The photos of childbirth did have female and baby nudity and breastfeeding, but as a child, this book was a good one to look at the beauty of God’s creation of precious human life!

By: J

Wed, 07 Sep 2022 14:40:15 +0000

In reply to Chris. I'm glad your daughter got out, and how nice that you could be there to reassure her. And yes, if you show yourself to be open to this topic when they're young, you can remain a touchpoint later on in life. Well done, Dad.

By: J

Wed, 07 Sep 2022 14:39:25 +0000

In reply to Anonymous. That is exactly how my parents handled my sex education: a book and invitation to ask questions if I had them. But given their obvious discomfort with the topic, I didn't feel like follow-up questions were a good idea. We actually had many discussions over the years with our sons, but this story was the first one.

By: Chris

Chris — Wed, 07 Sep 2022 11:01:32 +0000

“The talk” doesn’t end when the kids are grown. My adult daughter and I had a surprisingly frank discussion about how special true intimacy can be when in a secure, married, relationship, after she got out of an abusive relationship. I felt it was important for her to realize that there is still a bright future ahead of her, despite some bad decisions and circumstances from the recent past.

As to 260 times a year, that isn’t possible anymore. There is too much attention to social media to bother showing that much interest in physical intimacy. I mean, my wife might miss someone’s post and we can’t have that. OK, yes, I am being sarcastic, but I do think couples, including myself, need to watch their priorities.

By: Anonymous

Anonymous — Wed, 07 Sep 2022 03:31:54 +0000

I am so glad you were able to provide a solid, biblical sex education to your boys. When I was growing up, my Christian parents gave me a book about “where babies came from”. Then my Mom said “if you have any questions, you can ask me”. I told my Mom that I had sex education in school so I did not have any questions. The truth, I was too scared and embarrass to ask questions. And what I learned at church was the familiar message, “don’t do it until you are married”. Most of my Christian friends had similar experiences.

I think my sex life with my Christian wife could have been much, much better if we had better sex education when we were teenagers and young adults.