In the first years of our marriage we read the book  “Intended For Pleasure ” a Christian outlook on intimacy. It gave us a foundation. 

My wife has not been comfortable with her body, even from the beginning. After two children she gained weight and is still overweight. 

In those years I would write her occasional letters telling her how much I loved her, her body and our intimacy. Our intimate moments were (and still are) satisfactory and mutually satisfying. 

I’m the HD in intimacy, she the LD.

The one thing I know is that God wanted her to be my wife. That is the rock in our marriage.

Over the years we have talked about  my HD’ness and have come to a compromise.  I respect the way she is. She is the one God wants me to be with.

 It’s about “agape” love. Putting her needs first before mine. Self sacrifice is a part of marriage .

She has not been the very active one and rarely initiates intimacy. But I make sure she is fully satisfied before I am. I have never forced her to do anything she is uncomfortable with. 

Is our intimacy the “blow your socks off” type?

No. But we are both satisfied. 

And I am Blessed that she has never rejected my advances.

I believe she takes to heart the Apostle Paul’s advice in 1 Corinthians chapter 7 where he counsels the married to “stop depriving one another”.

 And I “agape ” her.

Thank you for these words of wisdom. I most definitely agree with them. However, my wife thinks differently. She was taught that sex is for the man and it is something to be tolerated…a wifely duty. I know many married men who have wives that would agree with my wife. Perhaps my generation promoted this belief…I am glad that she did not pass this belief to our daughters.