That’s interesting, how you figured out those words and managed each of them! Thanks for sharing.

Some of us seem to have a rolodex of words that we don’t like to hear. Some can be explained, and some can’t.

I have to do better in that department and take into account there is a reason why certain words would be considered “buzz words” to some but not to others. Here are 3 examples: “Caress” “Sweet” and “Wonderful” (my buzz word)

A few years ago, I read in a different thread that a younger contributing writer proclaimed that she can’t stand the word “Caress” almost to a point to where she was critical to those that use it. Whereas, in the generation I grew up, “caress” was a romantic word. My spouse also likes that word.

I believe that my wife has the most beautiful heart and good looks on the planet and have told her as much. It was only recently that she told me that she didn’t like telling her how “Sweet” she is. (she thought “Sweet” was a little demeaning)

She didn’t know that secretly I thought her kindness and the way she conducts herself around me and others and rarely saying anything negative was emotionally appealing, extremely attractive and very sexy. She skipped a heartbeat when I told her that and now, she actually likes it when I refer her as “sweet”.

Long story about “wonderful” that has nothing to do with the bedroom or even my spouse, but used by someone that irritated me, a long time ago. To our surprise, we soon discovered, that the word “wonderful” during intimacy (and the way she said it) caused the blood to stop flowing, going from hard to soft in less than a minute. Later we got a little chuckle out of it, though at the time of heated passion, I felt as if my own immaturity left her feeling very stranded.

She says a lot during intimacy and may have used the word “wonderful” before I heard that word passed through that irritating colleagues’ mouth, but after that she has never used the word “wonderful” during the act of making love again.

Under the Christian marriage umbrella I’m not a fan of authors using the word b*tch or its various forms. You can take this sentence out if it violates the rules of your blog.

This is one that see occasionally that just doesn’t apply to the marriage space but my workspace as well. Using the term gal or girl instead of wife/woman. Or when at work say “Can one of the nursing assistants help me?” instead of “Can one of the girls help me” when referring to young women who are over the age of 18. I find it infantilizing and cringeworthy.

I think terms like godly, biblical and Christian can be misused as a justification to guilt individuals into doing things in the bedroom they don’t want to do. There might be no specific prohibitions against wearing clown suits in the bedroom, but that doesn’t mean God requires us to do so. It is especially troubling when these terms are used to justify things that are potentially harmful or degrading to one of the individuals involved.

Some words just send mixed messages, like your example of anorexia. It might be appropriate in my work environment to say John has anorexia related to his cancer diagnosis but saying decreased appetite instead comes with less baggage. I’d never heard of the books or authors you mention but I think it would be fair to discuss if there is better terminology than sexual anorexia.

That is very interesting and helpful to me as well! Thanks for sharing, and good for you for adapting.