Yes I agree Chris, In Through the Out Door is not just a bad Led Zeppelin album but also a bad sexual practice. Never tried it, never wanted to 😝

These are real world issues. It is good to bring up these topics, despite the difficulty or awkwardness of the discussion. I appreciate your boldness.

Yes, I waver at times on whether I should publicly bring up topics that are fringe, but I guess I err on the side of making sure it’s clear for those looking what the best/biblical answer is. I love your comment, though, especially the love and respect you have for one another in your marriage.

Cuckolding is a term I wasn’t familiar with, but knew of the reality that there are husbands (and wives) that allow and encourage such things. Scripture is clear, we are not to bring others into our intimate relationship. That means a hard no to this perversion. It also means I refuse things like dress up (pretending to be someone else is still wrong, as I understand scripture), and pornography.

I also reject anything that brings pain, which is more of a conviction than absolute biblical decree. I don’t see it aligning with the full counsel of scripture. I believe this.

Fortunately, my wife agrees with me on all of these principles. It is such a blessing to be on the same page with my wife. We both seek God’s best, and by doing so it brings us closer together and more unified.

She is not excited about oral, but she knows how much it means to me. I don’t push, however, she is willing to surprise me on a rare occasion, which is enough to me. This expression of love from her tells me how much I mean to her. I would rather her give willingly than feel coerced. I will admit, I would mourn the total loss of it, as it is incredibly special to me. Another point I have to make is that there is no finishing with oral unless it is for her. We tried that once and she didn’t enjoy it. If I didn’t respect her in that, I wouldn’t have any hope of enjoying that wonderful gift from her. It is ok for her to set a limit to what she will do. So when there is oral, it is the most intimate foreplay.

I feel like this is a missed connection. Particularly, because she gives her reasons in the passage:

“I have taken off my robe—
must I put it on again?
I have washed my feet—
must I soil them again?”
SS 5:3

It’s not that she didn’t desire her husband or that he was behaving disrespectfully. Rather he came to her, wanting to make love, and she’d already turned in for the night. By the time she roused herself enough to think, “Yeah, that sounds pretty good!” he was gone. And her heart sank because the opportunity passed them by.

My two cents. Of course, it involves interpretation, and I’m certainly not saying I have it all right here. I appreciate your perspective! (And your kind words. ♥)

Song of Songs 5:6
Yep, the husband left. He didn’t break the door down, demand what he wanted, or pout when he didn’t get it. He respected that sexual intimacy involves consent—even in marriage. (I can’t believe I need to say “even in marriage,” but I’ve read enough from other sources to know I do.)

I read that verse recently, and always just took it for what it stated, that when she was finally ready to receive, he left, and her heart sank.
I guess I figured he was impatient because foreplay was taking too long and didn’t just want to end up cuddling for the night. By the time she was finally ready to open up, he left and she was upset. If it was a positive interaction, wouldn’t she have a more positive response at his departure other than “her heart sank”? I guess I want to know why her heart sank if he was showing respect, which typically promotes intimacy.
Thank you this much needed ministry to the body of Christ, I’ve learned so much from your page and the podcast. ❤

Thanks.

Thanks! Every time I think I’ve gotten everything out of a passage, Scripture (and the Spirit, I suppose) shows me more depth.

Song of Songs 5:6
Yep, the husband left. He didn’t break the door down, demand what he wanted, or pout when he didn’t get it. He respected that sexual intimacy involves consent—even in marriage. (I can’t believe I need to say “even in marriage,” but I’ve read enough from other sources to know I do.)”

I’ve read other sources, too, that suggest that “I do” equates to lifelong unconditional consent. That the wife is not free to refuse – for whatever reason. Appreciate your application of Song of Songs 5:6. I had only seen it from the wife’s perspective in that she changed her mind. But I love the picture of the loving husband who put aside his wants out of love for his wife.