Because seeing our spouses wearing their birthday suit, the feeling of their skin, the touching and tasting during slow foreplay and the act of penetrative love making is far more raw, emotionally euphoric and passionate.

For my wife, sometimes. Sometimes she likes a straight forward approach. Sometimes she like a soft and gentle approach. Sometimes she likes me to initiate (last night it failed miserably), sometimes she likes to be the one to initiate. Women are incredibly complicated, in my opinion. There are no set rules. After 33 years of marriage, I have figured one thing out; there are no rules. The same touch or caress can bring out burning passion or just a mild enjoyment, or perhaps nothing at all. This is not a criticism, just a personal observation. I can’t explain further, since I am just a man.

I find it encouraging to see that we are so often, maybe always?, on the same page. Your husband is blessed, as I am by my wife. And no, none of us are perfect, or at least I am not. My kids know they could ask me anything about marital intimacy, but they also know I will turn multiple shades of red while responding. Just the way it is. Regardless, I want to speak truth into their lives. You should have seen how sheepish I looked giving my sone a care package for his honeymoon with his amazing bride. He could not have chosen better, and not could she.

Did you mean to reply here, or to my question? Regardless, my entire post is about not putting together all those pieces to make it feel like a movie. Sexual intimacy in marriage isn’t a performance! Yes, we do some things to create a romantic and/or safe setting, to add a bit of spice to the experience, to show how we prioritize the other’s presence and pleasure, but you don’t need All The Things for sex with your spouse to be special. And attempting to compare our sexual encounters to the movie’s fantasy version means we miss out on what God intended sex to really be—a one-flesh experience with our beloved mate.

You know, putting all those pieces together to make it feel like a movie!

What “things” are you talking about?

Cuddling is another way to show and build intimacy! Enjoy that until you can get to the other stuff. And I’m praying for your husband to be cancer-free!

Thanks so much!