Thank goodness your wife pursued that! Oftentimes, it really is a physiological issue that can be addressed.

Yep. My wife suffered from nonexistent testosterone and she’s known this for years. Our sex life has been average at best.

For whatever reason, she took the initiative to get a proper work up, get the appropriate prescriptions, and ever since it has been a night and day difference.

Which is great, but she had to come to that decision on her own. I could only encourage her to a certain extent. Better than never, I guess, but if I hadn’t known that would’ve made such a huge difference, I would have pushed for that much much sooner

Love this! And thanks for the compliment.

It may not always be that easy to open up about a slow down in libido, but it shouldn’t because a slow down, may expose clues (but not always) of undiagnosed health issues that effort libido and also heart health or certain life threatening signals that need to be addressed.

Last month I had such a blood test and discovered certain deficiencies, including borderline low testosterone and border line high estrogen. (among other things)

My spouse is also navigating with low energy herself, a lot of it as a result of an arthritic knee, that is effecting her blood health.

One thing is certain, we still have the hots for each other and are unafraid to admit to one another that if we had the energy, we’d still be ripping and popping a few buttons while ripping one another’s clothes off everyday, like we use to.

We tease each other and agree that we have “fiduciary” intimate responsibilities to one another, but we don’t trivialize the emotional and intimate urgency both of us are grasping onto.

We still cuddle and touch one another at night as our intimate desire and attraction is very strong. As we pursue some intimate normalcy, the passionate caressing does allow us to trust one another’s instincts to give the freedom to embrace each other which increases our anticipation for us to experience penetrative love making.

Right now it’s about once a week, but it has declined from 2 or 3 times a week, just 12 months ago. Sometimes the intimate touch might last a couple of minutes before dozing off. Other times, even in our tiredness (to our surprise) she might [ask for intimate touch that leads to] a climax and then we end up falling asleep in one another’s arms, unless we have the energy to take it further than that.

*Note from J: summarized one section in [ ]

I agree that’s a problem. I have other posts about talking to resistant spouses, such as How to Talk about Sexual Problems with Your Spouse. But thanks for bringing that up!