Porn absolutely explains a lot of that! It’s been covered in many articles, and I’ve seen the research too, showing that a lot of young men are not pursuing real-life relationships because they’re getting dopamine (brain reward center) hits from engaging with pornography and also through gaming. Meanwhile, a lot of single women aren’t interested in being a relationship with a guy who spends so much time with porn and/or gaming.

I’m not for singles having a lot of sex, but I firmly believe the sex recession among singles is partly due to increased availability and use of porn.

I’m so sorry you’re going through that. We really need more education for people to know what the challenges of sexual intimacy might be at different stages of life. Those challenges can be overcome, but it may take some effort and/or intervention. Best wishes to you and your spouse!

I appreciate what you’re saying, but some situations are more complicated. Taking your analogy of wanting to lose weight, many of these people are not putting forth a lot of effort because the options presented to them are unappealing. For them, it’s like saying, “You want to lose weight? Then you’ll eat a diet of yogurt and rice cakes” or “you have to exercise an hour a day.” Yes, they want more frequent sex, but it needs to be satisfying sexual intimacy that integrates with the rest of their lives.

Believe me, I’m encouraging them to take on that effort! I certainly think it doesn’t require the relationship/sexual equivalent of yogurt and rice cakes, but I do think it’s selling some lower desire spouses short to say that they need to just “make it happen.”

For example, in 2008 8% of young men under 30 reported that they had zero sexual partners since they turned 18. By 2018 the percentage had climbed to 27%.

Similarly, 1 in 3 young men report that have had zero sexual partners in the past year.

I don’t think porn explains this and they are definitely not “rediscovering the value of chastity”.

How lovely! Good for y’all.