Comments on: 6 Reasons Why Sex Isn’t Happening in Your Marriage (and How to Address Them)

By: J

Sun, 02 Aug 2026 22:09:41 +0000

In reply to Anonymous. I don't know about "awesome," but you're very welcome!

By: Anonymous

Anonymous — Sun, 02 Aug 2026 18:49:15 +0000

In reply to J. J, Thanks so much! You're awesome

By: J

Wed, 29 Jul 2026 13:22:29 +0000

In reply to Jilly Bean. That's a great point, and not at all controversial with me! One of the most eye-opening books I've ever read is This is Your Brain on Birth Control by Sarah E. Hill, and I'm astounded that the main approach to women is still just messing with our hormones. Yes, it's fine for some women, but not for others. We should at least be made more aware of the trade-offs!

By: Jilly Bean

Jilly Bean — Wed, 29 Jul 2026 03:21:42 +0000

I’d love to propose an additional reason that’s both controversial but not nearly talked about enough and that’s Hormonal Contraceptives.
I’m speaking as a woman who have been on various types of hormonal and I’ve come off of them in a controlled environment (no other factors to contribute line weight fluctuations. Other meds, etc.).
Without a doubt, the pill had me in a fog and my libido so low that it truly caused issues in my marriage. The pill dampened my desire, I never felt aroused, I simply went along w my husband but never initiated. Once I came off and hormones fully regulated, I felt the fig lift, I no longer had pain, I started to feel desire. One of the craziest “side effects” of stopping the pill was I no longer wince at the idea of him finishing in my mouth. I actually enjoy it. I have made it my mission to share this with as many people as I can in hopes of helping other marriages survive and thrive .

By: J

Tue, 28 Jul 2026 20:26:33 +0000

In reply to A S. You might check out the posts I have on having sex with kids in the home, such as Q&A with J: Avoiding Sex Because the Kids Can Hear or Making Love When You Have Teens in the Home. But I suspect you have unique challenges with special needs children, an area where I don't have experience or insights. However, marriage pastor and author Kevin A. Thompson does. You might check out his resources and/or contact him.

By: J

Tue, 28 Jul 2026 20:15:42 +0000

In reply to Anonymous.

On one hand, I think it’s okay, because you’re not depriving your marriage of that sexual energy and your wife knows about it. On the other hand, this is nowhere near ideal. It’s not good for your marriage to be without sexual intimacy for so long, and your wife is missing out (even if she might not feel like she is). A better approach would be to address those post-menopausal and chronic illness issues the best y’all can, but of course, that calls for her cooperation. Even if you continue taking care of your “needs,” it would be good to keep trying to get her on board and figure out how to move from this not-so-great situation to one that provides the intimate bonding a sexual relationship can provide husband and wife.

And for blogs/suggestions, I’d point you to this blog post from me: Masturbation: Hands On or Hands Off?. And this podcast episode: https://forchristianwives.com/episode-212-what-about-masturbation/. That might help you sort out your thoughts on this issue.

By: A S

A S — Mon, 29 Jun 2026 15:23:22 +0000

We’ve got a slightly different issue in our home. Maybe it fits in the “Busy” category, but it seems different enough that I thought I would ask. We’ve got two special needs kids in our house, and a total of four children. The dynamic this creates for us is as if those early-childhood years just haven’t ended. We’re hopeful the two of them will be able to live independently in adulthood, but it the meantime, it’s going to be tough sledding for several years at least. That said, my wife is often emotionally tapped out when I get home from work and has little room for intimacy of any kind, especially sex. Any thoughts on how we maintain emotional and physical intimacy over the next several years as we raise these kiddos?

By: Anonymous

Anonymous — Thu, 25 Jun 2026 11:13:49 +0000

In reply to J. I think my wife's situation (57, post menopausal with chronic health issues) would check off most of those boxes. As a result I have to take care of my own needs to release my sexual tension. She knows I do this and has no problem with it. Do you think this is okay? The Bible doesn't directly address this but I don't feel like I have any options on tbe table. My libido is still strong (for a 54 year old). Are there any blogs or suggestions on this?

By: J

Sun, 21 Jun 2026 02:53:33 +0000

In reply to Clifford Wharton. I would refer to you to the Trauma section of this post. And I'm so sorry and sad that you did not find the help your wife needed. Again, I would recommend you seek trauma-informed care, specifically Brad and/or Kate Aldrich of Aldrich Ministries, who have extensive understanding and experience in this area. In healthy marriages, comprised of two healthy individuals, sexual desire builds over time and can be experienced as physical tension that releases when sexual intimacy occurs. But, as you noted, in relationships when one or both spouses have experienced trauma or conflict, sexual encounters can bring more tension.

By: Clifford Wharton

Clifford Wharton — Sat, 20 Jun 2026 09:11:03 +0000

What do you mean by ‘I felt connection with him and a much-needed release of tension’? Our experience is that sex is more likely to increase tension. There is no sense of release.
My wife was sexually abused in her teens but I don’t think she is consciously aware of it.
We have had lots of ‘counselling’ by both doctors and Christian friends none of which has been of any lasting benefit and some (especially by Christians) has actually been harmful.