Comments on: 6 Reasons Why Sex Isn’t Happening in Your Marriage (and How to Address Them)

By: J

Tue, 01 Sep 2026 18:29:11 +0000

In reply to Clifford Wharton. Oh, no. I don't think my mom knew much either. Some parents just didn't talk about it.

By: Clifford Wharton

Clifford Wharton — Tue, 01 Sep 2026 07:36:12 +0000

‘These days’ – probably yes. But ‘should have been told’ does not equate to ‘was told’.
I was born in the mid-50s so I was a teen in the late-60s & early 70s. There was no ‘popular culture’ then that I was ever aware of. Other boys at school sometimes asked ‘do you know about the facts of life?’ and I didn’t know what the question meant. So I was then bullied for not knowing.
So I would ask my parents what it meant. They just said ‘you will know when you’re older’. Then they would just clam up.

By: J

Tue, 25 Aug 2026 21:18:09 +0000

In reply to Clifford Wharton. You definitely should have been told! I am curious what generation you're from, because these days, I really don't know any teen who hasn't been exposed to the idea of sex through popular culture. The quote you cited was from my Making Love When You Have Teens in the Home post, and I didn't say they necessarily know the particulars, but they know men and women have sex.

By: Clifford Wharton

Clifford Wharton — Fri, 21 Aug 2026 07:04:31 +0000

‘But what about when your kids become teenagers? Assuming you did your job, or assuming they’ve ever left home and interacted in the real world, they know about sex. If you have sex while they’re home and they hear something, they might well put two and two together and realize you’re in there becoming one flesh.’

That is a wild assumption though. My parents never told me anything. When I asked my father why he hadn’t ever said anything about sex (even when I was about to get married) all he said was ‘I assumed you knew’. He assumed wrong. ‘Go see your Dr.’

I also didn’t know anything about female periods, didn’t even know there were such things, which led to an awkward moment on our wedding night.

By: A S

A S — Wed, 19 Aug 2026 14:16:53 +0000

In reply to J.

Thanks! I was aware that he existed out there somewhere (I think I heard him on a podcast at some point), but I’ve never read anything by him. I’ll go check out his resources, and if he doesn’t have anything published, I’ll look around for a way to contact him. I don’t want to be too hard on my wife – she has an incredibly difficult task handling our boys all day – but I feel like there has to be a better way to maintain intimacy than what we’re doing.

By: J

Sun, 02 Aug 2026 22:09:41 +0000

In reply to Anonymous. I don't know about "awesome," but you're very welcome!

By: Anonymous

Anonymous — Sun, 02 Aug 2026 18:49:15 +0000

In reply to J. J, Thanks so much! You're awesome

By: J

Wed, 29 Jul 2026 13:22:29 +0000

In reply to Jilly Bean. That's a great point, and not at all controversial with me! One of the most eye-opening books I've ever read is This is Your Brain on Birth Control by Sarah E. Hill, and I'm astounded that the main approach to women is still just messing with our hormones. Yes, it's fine for some women, but not for others. We should at least be made more aware of the trade-offs!

By: Jilly Bean

Jilly Bean — Wed, 29 Jul 2026 03:21:42 +0000

I’d love to propose an additional reason that’s both controversial but not nearly talked about enough and that’s Hormonal Contraceptives.
I’m speaking as a woman who have been on various types of hormonal and I’ve come off of them in a controlled environment (no other factors to contribute line weight fluctuations. Other meds, etc.).
Without a doubt, the pill had me in a fog and my libido so low that it truly caused issues in my marriage. The pill dampened my desire, I never felt aroused, I simply went along w my husband but never initiated. Once I came off and hormones fully regulated, I felt the fig lift, I no longer had pain, I started to feel desire. One of the craziest “side effects” of stopping the pill was I no longer wince at the idea of him finishing in my mouth. I actually enjoy it. I have made it my mission to share this with as many people as I can in hopes of helping other marriages survive and thrive .

By: J

Tue, 28 Jul 2026 20:26:33 +0000

In reply to A S. You might check out the posts I have on having sex with kids in the home, such as Q&A with J: Avoiding Sex Because the Kids Can Hear or Making Love When You Have Teens in the Home. But I suspect you have unique challenges with special needs children, an area where I don't have experience or insights. However, marriage pastor and author Kevin A. Thompson does. You might check out his resources and/or contact him.