It’s common for wives to struggle to initiate, especially those from conservative backgrounds. That’s why I originally wrote the post. But once in 9 years doesn’t strike me as merely discomfort, but something deeper. If I could talk to her, I’d be asking open-ended questions like:
• Do you ever want sex before your husband initiates?
• What did you learn about women who come on to men? And if the follow-up question is warranted… Do you think that’s also true for wives and husbands?
• Let’s imagine you are going to initiate sex with your husband. Think about that for a minute. (pause) Now tell me, what’s happening in your body right now? Are you relaxed or tense? What’s going on?

Anyway, I’d follow where her answers lead and try to get to what’s underlying her resistance. You may or may not be able to do the same. But it would be useful, I believe, for someone to have emotionally safe discussions with her about what’s going on. You’re both missing out. 😔

LOL! Maybe I should do the 69 Ways for the guys. 😄