Today’s question comes from two different readers who contacted me with similar situations. Both are newlywed wives who haven’t had the sexual intimacy they expected to have after they tied the knot. Here’s the first one: It has been one month since we got married and we still haven’t had sex. He told me last […]
Q&A with J: How Can My Groom Turn His Sex Drive Back On? Read More »
I’m not sure how many low-drive husbands read my blog, but I know quite a few high-drive wives read it. Sometimes they comment or email me about the issues in their marriage, and I personally lament how few resources there are for couples in this scenario. Today it’s on my heart to write not to
A Letter to the Low Drive Husband Read More »
In my graduate counseling program, I took a class about diagnosing and treating various psychological disorders. When we reached the section on eating disorders, I distinctly recall the professor saying something like, “You cannot put bulimics and anorexics in the same support group. To the bulimics, the anorexics are successful weight-losers, so they end up
Why High-Drive Spouses Get Frustrated Reading Comments Read More »
When it comes to sexual intimacy, I’ve had an interesting journey. I’ve been the virgin, the “technical virgin,” the so-not-a-virgin, the redeemed bride, the lots-of-sex newlywed, the no-libido wife, and the higher-drive wife. Sometimes I wonder if God allowed me to be put in all of these scenarios so that I can have compassion for
5 Truths for High-Drive Wives Read More »
One of my most shared posts is 8 Things I’d Say About Sex If I Had No Filter (Heaven Help Us All). In the same vein, I’m telling it like it is today. I get a bit weary of seeing email and posts in which people blame God for their way-too-low sex drive. It usually goes
Stop Blaming God for Your Low Sex Drive Read More »
You might think the three things higher-drive spouses long for are sex, sex, and sex. But while I’m certain higher-drive husbands and wives would like greater frequency of sexual intimacy in marriage, I truly believe they want more. So here are three other, very important things higher-drive spouses long for. 1. Recognition that their sex drive isn’t bad.
3 Things Higher-Drive Spouses Long For Read More »
I wrote last Thursday on What’s the Aim of His Sex Drive? and made the case that the majority of husbands aren’t just after the sex. Rather, sex is a way to be intimate with their wives. Their goal is less the sex (although, sure, that’s a big part of it) and more the connection with
When the Sex Drive Is More Intense Read More »
If you’re a higher-drive wife who read Monday’s post on The One Sex Tip I Give Husbands Over and Over, you were probably thinking:Â Slow down? Are you kidding me? If my husband moves any slower toward the bedroom, he’ll fall asleep halfway there! While other wives are trying to figure out how to get their
Two Words Your Higher-Desire Spouse Needs You to Hear Read More »
Last week, I posted that just because he has stopped asking, that doesn’t mean he has stopped wanting physical intimacy. Within the post and in my tweets about it, I acknowledged that it could actually be SHE who has stopped asking and still wants. Statistics vary, but in perhaps 20-25% of marriages, the WIFE is
I Am the Higher Drive Spouse (or Yes, Rejection Hurts) Read More »
Two blog posts sometime ago brought this subject to my mind. Mission: Wife shared the results of a sexual satisfaction survey, specifically the replies to the question “If you could get across one thing to your wife about sex, and know that you could say it in a way she would totally understand it, what
Wives, Should You Initiate Sex? Read More »
