Beyond the sensitive topic of sex, I’ve been candid about body image and breast augmentation. Today, I’m going to keep that up by sharing why I took my implants out.

Sharing About My Augmentation

In 2011, I wrote two posts about my decision to get breast augmentation, then a follow-up months later, and a second follow-up (based on a reader question) in 2017. Those posts are not available right now, because I want to revisit them and see whether they should be given an introductory disclaimer, revised to include what I know now, or simply discarded. But back then, I wrote:

After living with a pubescent chest for almost thirty years, watching my breast disappear every time I raise my arm above my head, and putting 19 of every 20 outfits I try on back on the rack because they don’t fit my bodice, I started thinking the unthinkable. What if plastic surgery isn’t about how I appear to others or vanity? What if it’s about how I feel about myself? About feeling normal?

Aiming for My Best Chest, Part 1

And this:

Some basic questions ran through my mind as I determined whether I could have plastic surgery and honor God through the process:

1.    Am I being a good financial steward? Plenty of people spend the same amount of money on vacations, furniture, home renovations, etc. That’s okay, as long as we are taking care of our families’ needs and giving generously to our local church and those in need. I had to know that we had money to use for this event and weren’t taking it from another, essential area.

2.    Am I seeking a vain, unrealistic ideal? God looks at the heart, not the outward appearance (1 Samuel 16:7). If we believe that our worth is driven by external beauty, we’ve missed the point. I get that. I’m not determining my worth based on that. You see, I don’t want to win a wet t-shirt contest, just shop in the women’s lingerie department.

3.    Am I choosing a size consistent with the body God gave me? Women do lots of things to enhance their beauty–from make-up to Botox to liposuction. Where’s the line? I don’t know! But I’m pretty sure that a woman slapping in implants big enough to don an F-cup results in the wrong kind of attention. So I’ve done what I can to keep myself in check–choosing an implant that will take me to a reasonable bra size.

4.    Am I able to help others in the future with this issue? I think so. Sure, there are times we’d all like an extreme makeover, but my experience might help others sort through the actual issues involved. You gotta ask yourself: Why am I doing this? Is it pure vanity or something else?

I took my sweet time considering this operation–making sure that I was sure. 

Aiming for My Best Chest, Part 2

Believe me, I did my homework! In answer to a reader’s question on how I felt about my implants six years later, I said:

Will you have any regrets? I don’t know. I can’t predict what anyone else will feel. For myself, I have none. But a good portion of why I don’t have regrets is that I carefully considered my decision, researched my options, discussed it fully with my husband, and prayed to make sure my motives were not selfish vanity.

Q&A with J: “How Do You Feel about Your Implants Now?”

Many people had no idea I’d had the procedure done, because I had chosen implants proportionate to my body shape and size and didn’t flaunt them unnecessarily. (I did flaunt them at my husband, but he liked my chest being flaunted at him whatever its size!)

We Had a Good Run

As I said back in 2017, I had no regrets. I healed fine from the surgery, had no decrease in sensitivity (perhaps even an increase), and found it much easier to shop for clothes. My husband liked the result too, not in the sense of those breasts being better but different and allowing for new exploration.

But in October 2020, I got sick and my health problems persisted. You can read more at Are Breast Implants Bad for You? Essentially, I had severe fatigue, body aches, joint pain, weakness, headaches, mild dizziness, and my least favorite, brain fog.

What on earth was going on?!

Nine months later, I have a really good idea. Not because any one doctor had the diagnosis, but because I slowly but surely pieced together the puzzle.

The corner piece for me was menopause. Among other benefits, estrogen provides immune system support (very good for a potential or current mom to have!). Once that coverage went away, underlying health issues floated to the top. From October to now, I discovered:

• Mild rheumatoid arthritis, which explained some of the joint pain.
• Root canal infection, and retreatment made my headaches subside.
• Deviated septum and sinus issues as well as obstructive sleep apnea, which resulted in nose surgery and a CPAP respectively, both helping me to breathe and sleep better.

Yet the fatigue, aches, weakness, and brain fog continued. The most likely explanation I’d found was Breast Implant Illness (BII), a widespread immune system response triggered by the presence of that foreign body. It’s not an official diagnosis—and may never be, given healthcare industry incentives—but thousands of women have reported similar symptoms and relief when they got their implants explanted.

I still had no regrets for the decision I made back in 2010, because I’d done so as responsible and thoroughly as I could at the time. But now that there was a possibility that my implants were causing my health struggles? Well, we had a good run, but it was time to shut that show down.

Removing My Implants

I consulted three plastic surgeons—including my original one, who’d previously done a great job but denied the possibility of breast implant illness—before choosing one I trusted to perform my explant surgery. My doctor‘s practice is almost entirely breast implant removal these days, and he has a long track record of knowing how to remove the implants properly and completely. (For anyone looking for an explant surgeon, you can find a good list of options to start your search here.)

On the afternoon of June 10, I walked into the surgical room, laid down on the waiting gurney, and seconds later, the anesthesiologist had knocked me out. When I woke up, I was groggy and in a bit of pain, but my husband escorted me out and we made the hour-plus drive back home.

Fast forward through pain medication, propping up to sleep, and surgical drains, and we reach two weeks post-surgery. While I was still sore and recovering, it was like a cloud lifted and I had more strength, energy, and clear thinking. For those who read my post about no longer having my monkey circus brain, I felt confident that the chimps were coming back home.

Are all my issues resolved? I need more time to know for sure. But call me a believer that Breast Implant Illness is a real thing and removal of implants can help those who have it.

As for what’s left behind, I’m not concerned about the loss of size or the longer scars that come with this surgery. No one questions when a woman (or man) with breast cancer has her (his) original-issue breasts removed to get better. So why would I balk at taking out upgrades for the sake of my health? If it hadn’t worked, it was still no huge loss.

But it looks like it did work for me.

What Do I Think About Implants Now?

Are implants bad for you? I posed that question in a previous post, and my answer is … maybe but probably not. From what I gathered in my research, plenty of women get breast implants and never have any problems at all.

However, I’m also convinced that breast implant candidates should be screened for autoimmune issues. Moreover, patients should receive more complete information and thorough consent forms (explained in full) before undergoing surgery. (See Breast Implants – Certain Labeling Recommendations to Improve Patient Communication – Guidance for Industry and Food and Drug Administration Staff (fda.gov).) And finally, women with breast implants should receive FDA-recommended ultrasounds or MRIs at 5-6 years postoperatively and every 2-3 years thereafter.

A small percentage of women will have issues. If you think you might have Breast Implant Illness, head over to this post where I include more research information: Are Breast Implants Bad for You?

But do your homework about other possible health issues. It might not be your implants at all. Or maybe not the only issue. Had I jumped right onto BII, I might have resolved my primary issues, but I would still have the headaches and not know about my rheumatoid arthritis. Just look into the options before self-diagnosing BII or something else.

What I hope no one concludes from my story is that all plastic surgery is bad—that we can’t or shouldn’t mess with God’s creation. Yes, I fully believe in being grateful for the body we have that God knit together in our mother’s womb (Psalm 139:13-14). However, plastic surgery has also done wonders for people with birth defects or recovering from a physical injury. And it has helped some deal with body image challenges in reasonably healthy ways.

I’m not opposed to plastic surgery. (See Should Christians Get Plastic Surgery?) Rather, I believe in being cautious and responsible in making such decisions, using the knowledge and insight we can gain from science and others, and seeking the counsel of God and trusted fellow Christians. As your fellow Christian, I hope my candid story can help.

The post Why I Took My Breast Implants Out appeared first on Hot, Holy & Humorous.

In December 2010, I got breast implants. In January 2021, I was diagnosed with rheumatoid arthritis. Sadly, I now believe these two events are related.

I have spoken openly about my choice to get plastic surgery and advised others to consider their reasons, do their research, and forge ahead with what they believe is best for them. Now, in addition to feeling personally bad myself, I am horrified by the idea that I might have encouraged someone out there to undergo a procedure that caused unnecessary illness.

Today, I need the correct the record based on what I’ve recently learned.

Why would someone get implants?

Women get breast implants for varied reasons, including:

• Unusually flat chest
• Unevenly sized breasts
• Extreme sagging
• Misshapen breasts
• Reconstruction after mastectomy

Yes, some women with perfectly fine breasts just go bigger, but it’s not as high a percentage as many believe. Most of the women I know who got implants had other reasons too.

What were my reasons for getting implants? Well, I was in the unusually flat chest department. Here’s why I did it:

• Feeling like a woman. When I was 39, my breasts looked 13. The rest of me was a woman, and I simply wanted my chest to display who I was internally.
• Fitting into clothes. I cannot begin to tell you how much easier it is to buy clothes with breasts proportionate to the rest of my body.
• Intimate engagement. Thankfully, my husband already saw me as more than enough. But the implants pushing my own tissue forward allowed more involvement of my breasts in affection and lovemaking.

For ten years, I had no regrets. But last October, I began experiencing health problems.

Do implants cause illness?

Most women who’ve gotten breast implants will never experience such issues, but a few will. An increasing body of evidence in recent years suggests that “silicone bleed” in the body increases the risk of autoimmune diseases and/or the diffuse range of symptoms that mimic known autoimmune diseases.

Some women will actually receive a diagnosis of an autoimmune disease, like me with rheumatoid arthritis. Others will have inconclusive results, and yet know deep down they are sick.

A growing number of women have spoken up about their symptoms, and in response, some researchers and doctors are looking into “breast implant illness.”

What is breast implant illness?

Breast Implant Illness (BII) is the current term used to describe a range of symptoms that occur in those who’ve received breast implants. As of this writing, it’s not a medical diagnosis, but rather an area of discussion and research. We’re still in the information-gathering stage, but enough women have experienced problems that it warrants attention, concern, and perhaps action for those suffering.

What are typical symptoms of BII?

• chronic fatigue
• joint and muscle pain
• memory and concentration problems (“brain fog”)
• breathing difficulties
• sleep disturbance
• rashes and skin problems
• dry mouth and dry eyes
• anxiety / depression
• headaches
• hair loss
• gastrointestinal problems

(List from What Is Breast Implant Illness? breastcancer.org.)

Now these symptoms can certainly occur with other illnesses, so having them doesn’t mean you have BII. Like any medical issue, you need to investigate possible causes, rule out issues, and pursue the right diagnosis as best you can.

In my own situation, I went through physical exams, X-ray, MRI, bloodwork, Covid-19 tests (including antibody), and several more screenings to finally arrive at a rheumatologist saying, “You have the requisite markers of mild rheumatoid arthritis” (RA). I followed up with my own research as well and concluded this diagnosis is very likely correct.

[Note: As part of my own health journey, I discovered obstructive sleep apnea, which I’m having treated as well. So it’s not all RA or BII-related.]

What should you know before getting implants?

Above all, breast implant candidates should be screened for autoimmune issues.

In addition to knowing your whys for wanting implants, I now believe that every woman should be screened for autoimmune issues through medical history, family history, and bloodwork. For instance, I had pseudothrombocytopenia for more 20+ years; that’s a tendency for my platelets to clump that’s not problematic in itself but has been linked to autoimmune diseases. That condition might have shown up with a proper history and bloodwork, making me an inappropriate candidate for breast augmentation involving silicone.

Allergies can also be a precursor for breast implant patients who experience autoimmune issues. Allergies, autoimmune disease, and fibromyalgia were deemed risk factors in research conducted by immunologists (see testimony before the FDA here).

You should know that augmentation options currently include:

• Silicone implants, which are now a gummy-like substance. The silicone won’t leak into your body like prior implants did, but some silicone may slough off (“bleed”) and a rupture could cause even more spread.
• Saline implants with silicone shells. Yes, there’s less silicone involved so they might be safer, but plenty of women now experiencing BII symptoms used saline.
• Natural augmentation, using fat cell replacement. In this procedure, a plastic surgeon liposuctions fat cells from one area of your body (tummy, thigh, etc.) and moves them to your breast. It’s not an option if you don’t have sufficient fat cells, and the increase in breast size is maybe a cup.

Each of these has advantages and disadvantages, which I cannot cover entirely here, but I encourage you to do your homework, ask questions, and follow up if you have any issues or concerns.

You should also know that the US Federal Drug Administration (FDA) recommends periodic imaging (MRI or ultrasound) of silicone gel-filled breast implants, with the first screening at 5-6 years after initial implant and every 2-3 years thereafter. (See also Saline, Silicone Gel, and Alternative Breast Implants – Guidance for Industry and Food and Drug Administration Staff (fda.gov).)

Why not screen for saline implant ruptures? Well, if your saline implant ruptures, the saline leaks out and your breast deflates. But there is still that silicone shell, so perhaps the FDA will introduce some screening for that at some point.

Anyway, if you get implants or have them now, you can and should do some follow-up to make sure everything is a-okay.

But this feels unfair!

When I started researching breast implants, I was taken aback by how many women got them to just feel normal. What I saw in media was the supermodels, actresses, and reality TV celebrities sporting unrealistic boobs. Even what I saw in my own community was often women with breasts lifted up, pushed out, and on display in low-cut tops.

But what I saw online, and since I had my augmentation and discussions with others, was that a lot of wives privately got implants simply to even out breasts, lift drooping boobs, or be a reasonable size. They weren’t getting them to feel boobalicious, but to simply feel normal.

If that’s you, I wish I could hug you. I know what it feels like.

And far be it from me to challenge the Word of God, but I have a question for Him at some point. In Song of Songs 8:8, the wife says: “We have a little sister, and her breasts are not yet grown.” A couple verses later, she says, “I am a wall, and my breasts are like towers. Thus I have become in his eyes like one bringing contentment.” I once read that passage and sobbed, because even at age 25, I felt like the little sister with not-yet-grown breasts rather than the woman with tower breasts bringing contentment to her husband. For a book that talks so much about our worth to God and others, why is that passage there, making too many women feel not enough? I really would like to know.

Let me encourage you to reach out to me if you need a virtual hug, a shoulder to cry on, a reminder that God really does love and value you. If I believe that God loves and values every single person, including every disabled, mentally challenged, and diseased person—and I certainly do—then of course I believe that I’m beautiful with or without boobs. So are you, my dear sister!

But I also know the grief you feel, and I just acknowledge that. You are precious as you are, but it is also frustrating to have this issue, when it seems it should be improvable.

An apology and a plea

When I got my implants in 2010, this research was not out there. I did my due diligence at the time and spoke from what I had learned. Believe me, I spent at least 50 hours investigating implants—size and appearance, surgery process, and yes, safety. I took nearly a year to make the decision to get the implants, chose a high-quality plastic surgeon, trusted the evidence I’d seen at that point, and felt good about the result. We do the best we can with what we know, right?

Yet, I feel the heavy burden of having advised others. In speaking about the importance of our words, James 3:1 says, “Not many of you should become teachers, my fellow believers, because you know that we who teach will be judged more strictly.” Ouch. Did I teach someone—even a single individual—to do something that returned harm to them? All I can say at this point is that I’m sorry.

I don’t believe implants are the wrong decision for everyone. They are the right decision for some. The incidence of breast implant illness is perhaps only 1.4 to 2% of implant patients. But that’s still a risk.

So you should be careful, get screened for autoimmune issues before implantation, do your homework and discuss any concerns with your physician, and receive periodic follow-up after.

And if you have developed an autoimmune disease and/or experience several of these symptoms, perhaps you should see a physician. I’m working on my own decision tree for where to go from here.

I’m going to end with possibly embarrassing my husband by sharing what he wrote to me after we slowly peeled back all these layers and decided the implants might be an issue.

I think you should have them explanted…. At the end of the day, you are all I need. And right now, the disease has chased you away.

“Spock” Parker

Hubbies, if you’re reading, take a cue from from that right there. With that attitude, my intimacy with my beloved is intact, and whatever their size or shape, this wife’s breasts will satisfy her husband always (Proverbs 18:19).

Resources
You can find a lot of stuff about Breast Implant Illness now online—some of it well-supported and some not. Below are sources I believe are trustworthy. Use your own discernment as you search for information and understanding.
What Is Breast Implant Illness? (breastcancer.org)
Largest-Ever Study Shows Silicone Breast Implants Associated with Rare Diseases | MD Anderson Cancer Center
Resources | BISA Nonprofit (breastimplantsafetyalliance.org)
Breast Implant Illnesses: What’s the Evidence? | National Center for Health Research
Medical Device Reports for Systemic Symptoms in Women with Breast Implants | FDA

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When I commented on the posts about my own experience, I received a couple of questions from readers there. I wanted to revisit the topic again on my own site and clarify a few thoughts about having plastic surgery.

First inward, then outward. I have a friend who lost 90+ pounds in a year and went from obese to oh-babe! How did she manage that? I think it’s because she got her inner self right first. She stopped looking at herself in the mirror and seeing a fat person. Instead, she saw the beautiful woman inside and decided she was worth something better. Once she believed in herself, willing to see herself as God saw her, she felt empowered to do the hard work of changing her diet and exercise routine so that she realized her goals.

That’s often how body image improves — not by fixing the external parts first, but rather by appreciating the unique way God knitted you together (Psalm 139:13). You are wonderfully made, beauty! If you’re looking for plastic surgery to resolve your inner self-image issues, you’ll likely be disappointed. Satisfaction with who you are must come first from within. It’s from an understanding of who God created you to be.

Those poor women who have procedure after procedure after procedure never get this. They’re always looking for another outside fix for what really ails them inside. Get your priorities straight and work on your inner self first. It’s only from a position of inner, emotional health that you can make the right decision on what to do to improve your body for health or appearance.

Some things really are a matter of degree. Some Christians believe that it is wrong to have plastic surgery, that altering your appearance is going against God’s design.

Yet we do plenty of everyday things that involve aesthetic reasons, like bracing our kids’ teeth and wearing make-up and coloring our hair. Plus, we correct appearance that goes awry, like skin grafts after fire damage or breast implants after a mastectomy. Before announcing that all plastic surgery is off-limits, we might want to pause and ask what appearance-altering steps we’ve taken and what makes those okay and not others.

Because honestly, some things are a matter of degree. Eating is perfectly fine, but the Bible certainly warns against gluttony. Jesus attended a wedding with wine, but drunkenness is always spoken against in scripture. A little spice in the bedroom is rather wonderful, but an obsession with more and more kink becomes unhealthy. Likewise, some enhancements of our appearance would seem just fine, while extreme changes can become problematic.

And the question is then: What constitutes “extreme”? Is it numerous procedures? Surgery itself? Any changes to your appearance?

I suspect most people would agree on where the ends of the continuum are, but it’s that middle section of what’s a-okay that we struggle with. And we should. We should struggle to answer that question. Because if we are considering something as invasive as surgery, we need to ask some hard questions of ourselves and ensure that our choices honor God.

But I also suspect that my answer of where to draw the line might be different from the answer of another Christian whom I love and respect. And that’s where our own soul-searching and conscience come to bear.

For you, not someone else. I did not get bigger breasts for my husband. In fact, my husband was originally opposed to me having breast augmentation, because he was concerned about me undergoing surgery of any kind that wasn’t absolutely necessary (that sweet man). We talked about the pros and cons for a while, and he agreed with my conclusion and supported my decision. But I didn’t do it for him. I did it for me.

I’m always taken aback by the number of women who have plastic surgery as a “gift” to their man. And the number of men who request that. Having plastic surgery because you don’t feel like enough for your lover isn’t a great reason. Indeed, it’s likely to make you feel that you don’t measure up generally — that you’re only acceptable if you can “correct” whatever external appearance issues you have. And love looks beyond that.

Of course I wanted my husband to have more to handle in the bedroom, but that wasn’t my ultimate reason. My husband had already chosen me — flat chest and all. Indeed, as Paul Byerly (Generous Husband) mentioned in his first article, one man put it this way: “The two things I require in breasts are 1) nipples, and 2) accessibility.” I suspect that’s a common perspective for husbands. And it’s probably true for our breasts, butts, wrinkles, etc. As long as we wives show up (especially naked), our husbands will likely be reasonably happy. We don’t have to look like magazine models or waste time and money fixing imagined flaws.

When considering plastic surgery, ask why. Is it for your own convenience and confidence or to feel like you measure up to an unrealistic standard for the sake of someone else? At the end of the day, you will be the one having surgery, you will be the one living with the results, you will be the one changed. So make sure it’s what you want.

Obviously, I wanted to have plastic surgery, I made the decision to do so, and I do not regret it. I’ve been open on my website about my own doubts about plastic surgery, my process and reasons for deciding to augment, and my concerns about jumping in too eagerly to solve body image issues. I’d like to hear your perspective on plastic surgery.

When do you believe Christians can and should have plastic surgery? Have you had any procedures? Why did you choose to do it and what was your experience?

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