But I got a big bonus during that review process: I got to know Linda Wilson much better through our communications. And that contact has blessed me personally many times over. She is an amazing encourager with a heart for missions and marriage. And when she submitted her post linking confidence and beauty, I wanted to cheer. Hope you get as much from it as I did!

I hope you have all been enjoying J’s guest posts about beauty this fall as much as I have. Interestingly, I have noticed that many share the concept that beauty is enhanced by confidence. Yes, yes, yes! Let’s explore this idea a bit further.

Confidence makes you look beautiful and feel sexy. Ooh la la. Picture a woman you admire who walks in confidence. She stands taller, smiles easily, and speaks with assurance. I believe this woman is a Proverbs 31 type, one who “laughs at the future” (Proverbs 31:25). And, as we all know, we can only laugh at the future when we are confident, not ruled by fears or insecurity.

So what gives us this confidence?

Sometimes upon leaving the hair salon ,we can feel beautiful. When we have had the best haircut, some great highlights, the expert styling — all of these combined can make us feel attractive.

Nice mani and pedicures can add confidence. Go ahead and admit it. We all notice other people’s nail color, especially in a room full of women.

And clothing. If clothes make a man, they certainly add to or detract from our feelings of femininity and beauty.

Teeth whitening. Botox. Liposuction. Personal trainers. Diets out the wazoo. The possibilities of things we can do to feel beautiful are endless.  The options available to us in today’s culture are mind-boggling, not to mention ridiculously costly in both time and money.

Hair, nails, clothes — all of these might enhance our feelings of beauty, but they are fleeting fixes. How can we not only feel beautiful, but actually be beautiful? Confident beauty comes by knowing who you are and Whose you are.

Confident beauty comes by knowing who you are and Whose you are. - Linda Wilson
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Synonyms for confidence include poise, assurance, certainty.  These traits come from God who gives them to us with delight. You are beautifully and wonderfully made! You have your Father’s eyes. You see, friends, we are daughters of the King of all kings. That makes us royalty. Regal. Lovely. Powerful. Beautiful.

You are a child of God (1 John 3:1). Ask the Holy Spirit to reveal to you who you really are. You can always believe what God says about you. You are not only a child of God, you are a dearly loved child. You are the object of His affections. Of all the people on earth, He is smitten by one glance of your eyes. You have ravished His heart (Song of Solomon 4:9).

A few years ago I had a dream in which I was seeing sin in my heart. Interestingly, the heart I saw was a physical one as seen in anatomy books. Next a hand came, picked up a paintbrush, and dipped the brush into red paint. With one swipe, the red paint completely covered my heart. His blood completely covered my heart! That is what Jesus sees when He looks at my heart and yours — He sees His blood, not our sin. Lastly I heard Him say to me, “My blood was not wasted.”

Shame or guilt from today or from the past should not haunt us. Our sin is hidden by His sacrifice. We are forgiven. That, girlfriends, should put a spring in our steps, smiles on our faces, and sparkles in our eyes. Nothing is more beautiful than joy! And deep joy comes from confidently knowing that we are forgiven, we are free. Yippee!

“But you (YOU!) are a chosen generation, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, His own special people, that you may proclaim the praises of Him who called you out of darkness into His marvelous light” (1 Peter 2:9). He chose you! That should make you all giddy with excitement. The King chose you. This is not a Cinderella fairytale. Truth is better than fiction! God chose you, and plans on loving you forever. Allow the feelings of love and gratitude to fill you up, spilling out of you onto others. This, friends, makes you truly beautiful.

Occasionally treat yourself to a spa day or purchase a pretty outfit. But remember that true beauty flows from the inside out. It is quite possible that beauty was one of the “things” Jesus had in mind when he said, “But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added to you” (Matthew 6:33). Confidently allow others to see Christ in you.

Lovely lady, you are one of a kind. You are spectacularly stunning.  Don’t hide your light under a basket—let it shine (Matthew 5: 15,16).  Laughing at the future, allow the world to know that you are the secure and poised, gorgeous daughter of the true King.

Linda Wilson is a marriage missionary. She and her darling friend Dan travel around the US and the nations teaching about marriage and sexuality. They also love ministering to widows and orphans.

The Wilsons have co-authored multiple books including 7 Secrets of a Supernatural Marriage and their latest release—Lovemaking. You can discover more about Linda and Dan at SupernaturalMarriage.org.

The post Confidence and Beauty with Linda Wilson appeared first on Hot, Holy & Humorous.

Given that I’m the kind of person who will dip her greedy hand into a bowl of M&Ms several times over if you just leave it out there, this spoke to my heart. Because at the same time, if you put a single Godiva chocolate on the table beside that M&M bowl, I’d ignore the M&Ms and spend as many minutes as possible nibbling and savoring the delicious fine chocolate instead. Sure, I like M&Ms, but I love fancy chocolate.

And if you want fine chocolate sex in your marriage, read this book.

Lovemaking, by Linda and Dan Wilson, celebrates the spiritual and playful side of sex in marriage. Yeah, I admit, that’s my wheelhouse. They are speaking my native tongue! But I think that’s because it’s God’s native tongue as well when it comes to physical intimacy.

We have great freedom in the marriage bed, but also an obligation to satisfy our spouse and honor the gift of sexual intimacy God gave married couples. Dan and Linda take readers through what God has to say on the subject of making love, from flirting and playfulness to physical anatomy to exploring, satisfying, and truly loving your spouse.

This is best read as a book for couples. When I finished my perusal, I immediately thought, “I wish I’d read this with my hubby.” But that doesn’t mean you won’t get plenty out of it to read it on your own.

Now I’ve read so much on sexual intimacy in marriage, I don’t have many Aha! moments anymore. Yet there were some insights in Lovemaking I hadn’t considered!

Plus, it never hurts to be reminded again of what you already know and encouraged to do it.

As you can tell, I liked this book! So I asked Dan and Linda a couple of questions below about Lovemaking and their ministry.

What makes your book, Lovemaking, different or unique?

We celebrate all the new books on holy sex! We are not competing with other authors, but rather we are celebrating what God is doing in this season—He is redeeming sex!

Lovemaking is different as we include Dan’s medical expertise, bringing a clear understanding of anatomy, practical suggestions for maximizing pleasure, and hints for adapting to physical changes due to aging or health issues to the table. This, combined with Linda’s love for storytelling and our passion for holiness in marriage, all work together to make Lovemaking fun, unique, and enlightening.

It did strike me (J) as having a unique tone and something different to offer.

Who is the intended audience?

Of course we want every married couple to read this book! Young couples will learn the value of becoming highly skilled and wholly holy in their lovemaking. Older couples will gain a renewed passion for adding spark and excitement to their play. In fact, just this past week we spoke to a group of Indian pastors about sex. One, a man in his 60s, wrote that after our talk he and his wife were once again enjoying each other like newlyweds. Yippee! Everyone will benefit from Dr. Dan’s enticing prescriptions.

Yep, Dr. Dan’s “enticing prescriptions” are practical tips for any couple to try.

What struck you as humorous or intriguing as you wrote this book together?

Ha! Writing a sex book together has been very stimulating! We like to celebrate sexual standing stones—the memorable, OH MY GOODNESS, stand out from the crowd types of sexual encounters. Let’s just say that writing and thinking about sex much of this last year has enabled us to add several more sexual standing stones to our memory playlist.

That gets an Amen! from me. I sometimes joke about how my husband and I do “research” for this blog — because that’s just the kind of unselfish, wanting-to-serve people we are. LOL.

Thanks, Linda and Dan, for more details about your book! I truly encourage my readers to check it out. Here’s the quick blurb about the book, followed by a fabulous offer from the Wilsons and Broadstreet Publishing.

Lovemaking: Enjoy Extravagant Intimacy in Your Marriage by Dan and Linda Wilson. Sex is meant to be beautiful, holy, and fun, and every married person can be skilled in the art of lovemaking. Lovemaking will help to: Increase your degree of sexual satisfaction, Understand the purpose and pleasure of godly sexuality, Learn how to give and receive love through sexual expression, Renew passion for your mate, Be equipped to be the world’s greatest lover for your spouse. Great sex is godly. God is the ultimate Lover, and He created us to love. He placed creativity in us to make sex exciting, never dull or routine. You can fully realize the tremendous potential for joy, fulfillment, and purpose in your marriage.

BroadStreet Publishing has given me 20 copies to give away to my subscribers for those willing to tell others about the book. (Soooo generous!) To enter your name in the drawing for one of these beautiful hardcover books:

• Share the promotional image below on at least one social media platform (Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, Pinterest) with the hashtag #lovemakingbook. (Your tweet, pin, etc. will have its own url (http://____). You can post that in the comment section, and we’ll be able to click over and confirm.)
• The publisher will randomly choose 20 people who have tagged their social media posts #lovemakingbook and contact you for your address so they can send you the book. (Remember, your email address shows up to me, and I can share it with this publisher, but it will not show up on my blog.)
• On June 18 (two weeks from today), I’ll post the names of winners on the archive of this post.

Thank you, Wilsons and Broadstreet!

The post Fine Chocolate Sex: A Review of Lovemaking appeared first on Hot, Holy & Humorous.

As I stated last year, I am not endorsing these books. In fact, I never endorse a book I haven’t read. These are simply books on my reading list. If I believe they’re worthwhile, I’ll share my review in the future. (You might want to check out my Goodreads account.)

[Italicized descriptions are from the author/publisher, and links are Amazon affiliates.]

The Sex-Starved Marriage: Boosting Your Marriage Libido by Michele Weiner Davis. It is estimated that one of every three married couples struggles with problems associated with mismatched sexual desire. Do you? If you want to stop fighting about sex and revitalize your intimate connection with your spouse, then you need this book. In The Sex-Starved Marriage, bestselling author Michele Weiner Davis will help you understand why being complacent or bitter about ho-hum sex might cost you your relationship.

This book seems to hit many intimacy experts’ recommended lists. I’ve actually read a couple of chapters, but I didn’t get far enough. I’m going to knock this one out in 2015.

Every Young Woman’s Battle: Guarding Your Mind, Heart, and Body in a Sex-Saturated World by Shannon Ethridge & Stephen Arterburn. Whether you have so far protected yourself emotionally and sexually, feel that you’ve been robbed of your purity, or have given in to temptation in some way, this book can help you achieve or reclaim sexual integrity. It can also guide you through the temptations and pressures of young adulthood while demonstrating how you can live your life to the fullest–without regrets.

There’s also an Every Woman’s Battle book, but I thought I’d read this one from the perspective for younger women. This age can be especially difficult, and it’s a time to set the tone for how you approach sex in life. Of course, you can recalibrate later, but it’s good to get it right from early on if you can.

Sheet Music: Uncovering the Secrets of Sexual Intimacy in Marriage by Dr. Kevin Leman. With his characteristic warmth and humor, Dr. Kevin Leman offers a practical guide to sex according to God’s plan. This frank and practical book is a perfect resource for married and engaged couples. Dr. Leman addresses a wide spectrum of people, from those with no sexual experiences to those with past sexual problems or even abuse. Using frank descriptions, this book has a warm and friendly tone that will help couples overcome awkwardness in discussing an issue important to all married couples.

This is a re-read. I’ve recommended this book before, but I found it at my local Half-Price Books (I’d loaned out my copy and, interestingly, never got it back) and want to revisit what Dr. Leman says about sexual intimacy.

For Women Only: What You Need to Know About the Inner Lives of Men by Shaunti Feldhahn. The man in your life carries important feelings so deep inside he barely knows they’re there, much less how to talk about them. Yet your man genuinely wants you to “get” him—to understand his inner life, to know his fears and needs, to hear what he wishes he could tell you. In her landmark bestseller, For Women Only, Shaunti Feldhahn reveals what every woman—single or married—needs to know.

This is another re-read for me, but I want to revisit the concepts here. I’m also hoping to read Feldhahn’s most recent book, The Good News About Marriage: Debunking Discouraging Myths about Marriage and Divorce.

Songs in the Key of Solomon: In the Word…and in the Mood by John & Anita Renfroe. Filled with insights from a real couple on real issues, Songs in the Key of Solomon will get you and your spouse laughing, thinking, sharing, touching, and praying — possibly all during the same reading. Each offering in this devotional is designed to spark connections around issues that matter, so you’ll deepen your emotional, spiritual, and physical unity and ignite new levels of intimacy. (One devotional involves a bathtub and some candles…try not to get stuck on that one page over and over again.)

I don’t know Anita Renfroe, but she absolutely seems like my kind of lady — able to be funny when a laugh is what you need and serious when issues run deeper. And since I’m encouraging everyone else to read a sex devotional book this year (Intimacy Revealed!), I thought it’d be nice for my husband and I to go through some marriage-bed devotions ourselves.

Lovemaking: Enjoy Extravagant Intimacy in Your Marriage by Dan and Linda Wilson. Sex is meant to be beautiful, holy, and fun, and every married person can be skilled in the art of lovemaking. Lovemaking will help to: Increase your degree of sexual satisfaction, understand the purpose and pleasure of godly sexuality, learn how to give and receive love through sexual expression, renew passion for your mate, be equipped to be the world s greatest lover for your spouse.

Dan and Linda have both visited my site, and we share a similar vision. They let me know about the upcoming release of this book (in June, I believe), and I’m eager to read it.

The Unveiled Wife: Embracing Intimacy with God and Your Husband by Jennifer Smith. The Unveiled Wife is a real-life love story; one couple’s refreshingly raw, transparent journey touching the deep places in a marriage that only God can reach. If you are feeling disappointment or even despair about your marriage, the heart-cry of this book is: You are not alone. Discover through Jennifer’s story how God can bring you through it all to a place of transformation.

I’m soooo looking forward to this book’s release. In all my dealings with Jennifer, she has been kind, authentic, and godly, and I know her story will encourage other marriages. Look for my take on her book once I’ve read it (and maybe I can convince Jennifer to stop by).

Now what are your suggestions for the best Christian sexual intimacy books you’ve read? Or what’s on your reading list for 2015?

Of course, I’d love for you to put Sex Savvy: A Lovemaking Guide for Christian Wives or Intimacy Revealed: 52 Devotions to Enhance Sex in Marriage on your list!

* * * * *

What does the Bible say about sexual intimacy?

Quite a lot actually. From marriage-specific scriptures to biblical principles, Intimacy Revealed: 52 Devotions to Enhance Sex in Marriage guides Christian wives through weekly devotions that shed light on God’s gift of marital sex.

Each week includes a Bible passage, application, questions, and a prayer. These short devotions will deepen your understanding of God’s design of sexuality and encourage you toward a holier, happier, and hotter marriage.

Purchase:
Amazon for Kindle
Barnes & Noble for Nook
Print book

The post Marriage & Intimacy Books to Read in 2015 appeared first on Hot, Holy & Humorous.