My email inbox has been flooded with messages about Black Friday, Small Business Saturday, Cyber Monday, and Giving Tuesday. I have refrained from sending y’all any of those. Even though my publisher and marketing experts wish I had! I simply want to treat you the way I’d want to be treated.

As Luke 6:31 says, “Do to others as you would have them do to you.” And I don’t like being pummeled with emails that could summarized as GIMME $$$! That said, I appreciate learning about resources that could help me. So how do I balance those two impulses?

Just Because

First, let me share resources I have little to nothing to do with—no contribution, personal attachment, affiliation, etc.—that can enhance many marriages.

• Authentic Intimacy. If you want to know who’s speaking about sexual intimacy in a godly, practical way, this is a great resource. Dr. Juli Slattery and her team take on various sex topics with biblical grounding and compassion that address the complicated circumstances many Christians face. I encourage you to check out their books and Juil’s podcast. (I know Juli, but we’re not close.)
• Gottman Institute. Drs. John and Julie Gottman founded a relationship institute that focuses on what really matters for marriages to make it in the long run. John’s book, cowritten with Nan Silver, The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work, was a groundbreaking resource for couples to kick out the bad habits destroying their connection and adopt new patterns to build better marriages. While I don’t agree with all of the Gottman Institute’s values, their research-based resources are valuable.
• Boundaries. A fair number of questions I receive from stressed spouses could be answered by reading a Boundaries book by Henry Cloud and John Townsend. I started with the original, but Boundaries in Marriage might be the best resource for many husbands and wives to figure out when and how to draw some lines, stand up for that’s right and reasonable, and positively influence their spouse.

Affiliates I Believe In

Many times, I’ve been offered to promote products or services that would have made me more affiliate income, but I didn’t want to recommend them. I only send y’all to resources I’ve had a good experience with myself. With that in mind, here are a few of those.

• Married Dance. On their website, Married Dance invites visitors to “shop our carefully curated selection of sex toys for couples with confidence that your shopping experience is discreet and presented in a nudity-free, marriage-focused environment.” I really appreciate that marriage focus. Honestly, I don’t love every item on the site, but they carry quality brands, provide useful marital aids, and have top-notch customer service. If you’re looking for personal lubricant, sex toys, or supportive furniture/pillows, this is the place to go.
• Mentionables. Mentionables is a lingerie shop that has both sensual-classy and super-sexy items, all tastefully displayed. Their products can cost a little more, but they also wear well, meaning better value in the long run. Sizes range from XS to 3X.
• Everylove Intimates. This bimonthly date night subscription provides exclusive lingerie and sensual products delivered right to your home. I’ve been very impressed with how this is put together and the creativity of the intimate date nights.

My Inexpensive Options

For many of you, money is tight this year. (Maybe it is every year.) Yet, you want to do something a little extra for your spouse this Christmas that says, “I love being intimate with you.” Here are a few resources from my shop that convey that message.

• Marriage & Mistletoe Game ($2.99) — Spice up the holidays with an intimate board game! You and your spouse will enjoy unwrapping and savoring the gift of one another, as you follow the path to a mutual “win” in the bedroom.
• Christmas Gift Coupons for Him ($2.99) — Each Christmas-themed coupon features an affectionate or intimate activity and a companion scripture from Song of Songs. Perfect stocking stuffer for your husband that he can cash in any time of year!
• Christmas Gift Coupons for Her ($2.99) — Each Christmas-themed coupon features an affectionate or intimate activity and a companion scripture from Song of Songs. Perfect stocking stuffer for your wife that she can cash in any time of year!
• Just You and Me Christmas Gift Tags ($2.99) — Gift tags for those special gifts privately given between husband and wife! 10 to a page. 
• Hot, Holy, and Humorous: Sex in Marriage by God’s Design (Signed) ($5.00), available in contiguous US — God does not shy away from the subject of sex. Hot, Holy, and Humorous gives candid advice for wives from a foundation of faith with a splash of humor.
• Pillow Talk: 40 Conversations About Sex for Married Couples (Signed) ($9.99, now $5.00), available in contiguous US — This full conversation guide book helps couples to better communicate about sex in marriage and to put into practice habits that enhance their intimacy.
• Intimacy Revealed: 52 Devotions to Enhance Sex in Marriage (Signed) ($9.99, now $5.00), available in contiguous US — This devotional book helps wives better understand God’s design for sex and how to pursue healthy and holy sexuality. 
• Under the Mistletoe ($0.99) — Romantic holiday short story about a married couple.

My Latest Book

Published earlier this year, The Higher Desire Wife has been a passion project for me. But it hasn’t reached nearly enough wives! It was never my goal to make a lot of money with this book, but rather to get it into the hands of those women who would benefit from it.

If you are that higher wife, married to a higher desire wife, or know a higher desire wife, please consider getting this book. Only a handful of Christian resources exist for this group of wives, even though they represent about one-fourth of all marriages. I genuinely believe my book could help.

A husband always wants more sex than his wife, right? Many marriage resources make that assumption, but up to 25 percent of marriages have a higher desire wife! While these women are not alone, they may feel that way as standard sex advice doesn’t address their needs. They may even feel like there is something wrong with them or they should be ashamed of their high sex drive.

Author and speaker J. Parker has been there. In The Higher Desire Wife, she pairs extensive research and personal stories to help the higher desire wife nurture healthy and holy intimacy in her marriage. In these frank and compassionate pages, you’ll discover that you’re not alone and things can get better.

And be sure to check out our latest Sex Chat for Christian Wives episode with our annual gift guide! We feature items that enhance not only physical intimacy, but also intellectual/creative, emotional, and spiritual intimacy.

Disclosure of Material Connection: This post includes one or more affiliate links, meaning if you click on the link and purchase an item, I receive an affiliate commission at no additional cost to you.

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