Welcome to another monthly roundup of marriage and sex resources with links to recent posts, as well as:

• podcast episodes with Knowing Her Sexually and Sex Chat for Christian Wives
• my monthly post over at KHS Ministry (for husbands)
• any new resources I’m involved in (from online seminars to new site store products)
• resources and products I can recommend for your marriage and sex life
• news and events I need or want to share with y’all
• biblical inspiration for the upcoming month

Scroll through to find what you might have missed or your next great resource for marriage.

This Month on the Blog

Quick note: I’m trying to blog twice a week, but sometimes I only get one blog post out.

From Sex Chat for Christian Wives Podcast

• Episode 101: Enjoying Sex, with Joyce Penner
• Episode 102: What You Need to Know About Sex
• Episode 103: Take Time to Titivate

From Knowing Her Sexually Podcast

• Episode 26: What “Take It Slow” Means to Her
• Episode 27: Does My Wife Think I’m Hot?

My Post at KHS Ministry

Click the image below to read.

A Few Great Reads Elsewhere

• I’m in love with my podcast partner Gaye’s Healthy Life Toolbox series. I have felt seen, called out, and encouraged! Here’s a particularly great one: Decide What You Really Deserve – Healthy Life Toolbox, Tool #11 – Calm.Healthy.Sexy. (By the way, Gaye has also pointed out that Dear Wife, You Deserve a Great Sex Life Too).
• Some great thoughts about sexual release vs. sexual relationship in marriage in this guest post from Juli Slattery: Stop Hooking Up In Your Marriage  | Shaunti Feldhahn.
• How does the security of your marriage relate to your words? I wrote it about it this past month, but here’s another excellent post on that topic: The Importance of Encouraging Words – Fierce Marriage.

Also, to the WIVES, please help Chris Taylor of Honeycomb & Spice learn more about chronic illness & sex. You can visit her post about it below or just take the survey at: https://tinyurl.com/chronic-survey

Recommended Resources & Products

I’ve often mentioned Christian Friendly Sex Positions as a good resource for positions tastefully drawn yet well displayed and described. But it can be rather unwieldy to lie in bed with your spouse searching through their database. Hey, CFSPs just launched a deck of physical cards with 52 of their most popular positions! It comes in a blank box, so no one but you and your beloved will know what’s inside, and cards include QR codes that you can scan to find the online instructions. (affiliate link)

I wrote a whole post about this product, but I just have to say again: what a smart idea! Ladies, if you want to do Kegels right and in a way that’s actually fun, check out the Perifit pelvic floor exerciser. (And no, this is not a sex toy, but a device for women’s health.)

What J’s Up to These Days

These days, I’m down more than up. Meaning I sleep way more than I used to, but it is what it is. I’m in a season of rest.

• My battle with chronic illness continues, with several doctor appointments lined up and ongoing investigation to answer the question: What is wrong with me? (I mean, beyond my fun craziness. ~wink~) No certain answer yet, but I found an app that helps me track symptoms. In case it helps someone else, the app is Bearable.
• My TBR (to be read) pile is quite large, but sadly it’s been difficult for me to read anything longer than a few pages. I’ve been keeping up with my field through online articles—often read to me with the text-to-speech function—and audio/video content. All of which reminds me that I really need to get my own books into audio!
• Spock and I recently took a short driving date outside Houston to soak up the beauty of Texas wildflowers. Unfortunately, the flowers were in short supply. Some have wondered if Snowmaggedon (our rare snowstorm in mid-February) impacted their growth, but Texas Parks & Wildlife says the flowers should still blossom, though more in April. We hope to take another drive soon and verify that “the sage in bloom is like perfume, deep in the heart of Texas.” (It is.)

Biblical Inspiration for the Coming Month

How do we read the Bible? That is, a lot of us “read” the Bible by seeing and sharing verses or short passages. While time doesn’t always permit, I now try to open up my Bible where the excerpt appears and scan the context. Sometimes, it’s an eye-opener to see the verses that come before or after what was cited.

For instance, we love to share Jeremiah 29:11:

“For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.”

That sounds great, God! Let’s do that.

But if you read the whole chapter, that verse appears in a section telling the Israelites to hang out in Babylonian captivity for a while yet. Wait a minute—I didn’t know CAPTIVITY was part of this deal!

My point is that we want to rest on all of God’s amazing salvation promises, and they are true! He loves us so much and wants the best for us. But sometimes we have to hang out for a while, doing the best we can and finding contentment in an imperfect situation.

If your marriage or sex life isn’t everything you know God wants it to be yet, don’t give up hope. But also don’t demand a miracle from God by tomorrow.

His plan may unfold more slowly, but incremental improvements are often the ones that become permanent and teach us gratitude for both the result and the journey.

The post Resource Roundup: March 2021 appeared first on Hot, Holy & Humorous.

I’ve had a lot of feedback lately from spouses resentful about the lack of sex in their marriage. At times, it’s pushback about my lack of sympathy or understanding for their heartache.

Truth is, I don’t know what it’s like to walk in your shoes.

However, I do know that ongoing rejection hurts. It stinks, and it’s wrong.

Still, I will not validate vitriol against your spouse that hurts both you and your marriage. Because that I know path personally, intimately.

Instead of a fresh post here this week, I really want y’all to go read the post I wrote for KHS Ministry. KHS stands for Knowing Her Sexually, and it’s the website Chris Taylor of The Forgiven Wife and I maintain for husbands (along with a subscription community).

Please read my story.

The post From Bitter to Better: My Marriage Story appeared first on Hot, Holy & Humorous.

Here’s an excerpt of the KHS Ministry post:

Two women writing about sex to men. By this point in our ministries, we already know what some husbands will think: Women are always blaming men. Women don’t appreciate how men are built. Women don’t even like men all that much.

However, these two wives — J and Chris — actually think men are pretty awesome!

Moreover, lots of wives find men to be rather wonderful, especially their own particular guy. Though what women appreciate about men may be slightly different from what you might think.

So from a female frame of mind, let me share what we wives think is so great about men.

His Strength

Cliché, right? But there is truth to it — strength is attractive to women. Yet it may not be the kind of strength you’re thinking of, the hard-muscled, manly-man stuff. Strength isn’t appealing unless it’s paired with tenderness.

Want to read more? Click below!

Also be sure not to miss this limited time offer from our Sex Chat for Christian Wives Podcast!

The post What’s So Great About Men? appeared first on Hot, Holy & Humorous.

That’s a controversial statement in some circles these days, but the more I’ve studied men and women, the more convinced I am that male-female goes much deeper than our external body parts, all the way into how our whole bodies are designed, as well as our brains.

God told us that from the beginning: ” So God created mankind in his own image, in the image of God he created them; male and female he created them” (Genesis 1:27).

It’s because we’re different that we’re attracted to one another, that we complement one another as life companions, and that we confuse one another for the next 50 or so years.

Perhaps never more than in the area of sexuality.

Deciphering the Differences

Marriage authors, bloggers, speakers, ministers, etc. have spent countless hours trying to explain men to women and women to men. Some go overboard with stereotypes and generalizations, and we must recognize that we are first humans made in God’s image, then specific individuals, and then man or woman. Plenty of overlapping and exceptions exist!

But God did make us male and female, and it can be helpful to hear how men and women generally think and behave—and then ask your own spouse if it’s true for them.

I’ve made plenty of attempts to explain male sexuality to wives. For example: A Wife’s Guide to Sexual Man Speak; Q&A with J: Is Sex Disconnected from Love for Men?; 4 Things Your Husband Wants from You in Bed.

Resources for Husbands

I’ve also provided posts for husbands like How to Help Your Wife Get Naked and Why Being a Good Father Turns Your Wife On. But this blog, and my resources, are still primarily for wives.

So I get asked: Where are books, websites, or other resources about sex directed specifically at men? Not about porn recovery or wooing your wife romantically or communicating better in marriage, but how to engage and please her sexually?

Well, there aren’t enough such resources. If you’ve been around the sex-in-marriage ministry world for a while, you’ve noticed a synergy with various ministries from women. That same synergy has not come into full focus with a group of husbands having the time, desire, and calling to speak into that need.

However, even if those resources existed, could those men speak definitively about women’s sexuality?

Although I explain men as much as I can on this blog, I often check in with husbands to make sure I’m representing them well, and sometimes I’m still stumped by you guys, because you’re just, well, different. (And by different, I mean weird. But let’s not hang out on that point.)

A New Ministry

Summarizing thus far: Men and women are different. We need resources to help explain male sexuality and female sexuality, with the caveat that we are individuals and generalizations should be checked with our own spouse. Husbands specifically could use more resources that explain women’s sexuality, and such insight may be best provided by women.

And that’s the purpose of KHS Ministry, a new resource coming your way from me and Chris Taylor of The Forgiven Wife.

KHS stands for Knowing Her Sexually, a name that conveys not only a husband’s need for knowledge about female sexuality, but his desire to have intimate knowledge of his wife. In fact, when the first man first makes love to the first woman, the Hebrew word used to express that means to know: “Now Adam knew Eve his wife, and she conceived and bore Cain, saying, ‘I have gotten a man with the help of the Lord'” (Genesis 4:1, RSV).

KHS Ministry will deliver content in three ways:

Blog

Every other week, we’ll share posts to help husbands nurture sexual intimacy in their marriage.

Subscribe

Community

Opening in January, this is where the bulk of the ministry will be, with insights from us and other husbands.

Coming soon!

Podcast

Starting next spring, we’ll have short episodes every other week with tips for husbands.

Stay Tuned!

Why Us?

Chris’s website is aimed wholly at wives. Yet she has heard from so many husbands who say that her explanations of how women think and act sexually have helped them understand their own wives. Chris has a unique and profound way of describing the thoughts and emotions of women.

As for me, I hear from husbands who say that I “get” them—that is, I speak Conversational Male. No, I’m not fluent! But when I speak to men, I understand enough of their language to convey their wives’ view of sex in a way that makes sense to many men.

In addition, Chris and I have both been the lower drive spouse and the higher drive spouse in our marriages, so we know what those feel like. We each have two sons, so we’ve lived with a fair amount of testosterone in our households. And we both think men are pretty awesome, so we’re on your side when it comes to sexual intimacy.

Most importantly, as Chris and I talked through this idea and developed the ministry’s specifics, we felt in tune in a way I can only explain as having God’s hand on us. We have felt His Spirit present in this endeavor.

How to Get Connected

If you’re a husband reading this, keep reading for how to get connected. If you’re a wife reading this, share this post with your husband.

To stay on top of what’s coming, follow our Facebook page and subscribe to our newsletter and blog! (Yes, wives can follow on Facebook to see what’s up with our ministry.)

We’re also on Twitter, if you get info there. And check out our website!

The post Can Men Really Understand Women's Sexuality? appeared first on Hot, Holy & Humorous.

That’s a controversial statement in some circles these days, but the more I’ve studied men and women, the more convinced I am that male-female goes much deeper than our external body parts, all the way into how our whole bodies are designed, as well as our brains.

God told us that from the beginning: ” So God created mankind in his own image, in the image of God he created them; male and female he created them” (Genesis 1:27).

It’s because we’re different that we’re attracted to one another, that we complement one another as life companions, and that we confuse one another for the next 50 or so years.

Perhaps never more than in the area of sexuality.

Deciphering the Differences

Marriage authors, bloggers, speakers, ministers, etc. have spent countless hours trying to explain men to women and women to men. Some go overboard with stereotypes and generalizations, and we must recognize that we are first humans made in God’s image, then specific individuals, and then man or woman. Plenty of overlapping and exceptions exist!

But God did make us male and female, and it can be helpful to hear how men and women generally think and behave—and then ask your own spouse if it’s true for them.

I’ve made plenty of attempts to explain male sexuality to wives. For example: A Wife’s Guide to Sexual Man Speak; Q&A with J: Is Sex Disconnected from Love for Men?; 4 Things Your Husband Wants from You in Bed.

Resources for Husbands

I’ve also provided posts for husbands like How to Help Your Wife Get Naked and Why Being a Good Father Turns Your Wife On. But this blog, and my resources, are still primarily for wives.

So I get asked: Where are books, websites, or other resources about sex directed specifically at men? Not about porn recovery or wooing your wife romantically or communicating better in marriage, but how to engage and please her sexually?

Well, there aren’t enough such resources. If you’ve been around the sex-in-marriage ministry world for a while, you’ve noticed a synergy with various ministries from women. That same synergy has not come into full focus with a group of husbands having the time, desire, and calling to speak into that need.

However, even if those resources existed, could those men speak definitively about women’s sexuality?

Although I explain men as much as I can on this blog, I often check in with husbands to make sure I’m representing them well, and sometimes I’m still stumped by you guys, because you’re just, well, different. (And by different, I mean weird. But let’s not hang out on that point.)

A New Ministry

Summarizing thus far: Men and women are different. We need resources to help explain male sexuality and female sexuality, with the caveat that we are individuals and generalizations should be checked with our own spouse. Husbands specifically could use more resources that explain women’s sexuality, and such insight may be best provided by women.

And that’s the purpose of KHS Ministry, a new resource coming your way from me and Chris Taylor of The Forgiven Wife.

KHS stands for Knowing Her Sexually, a name that conveys not only a husband’s need for knowledge about female sexuality, but his desire to have intimate knowledge of his wife. In fact, when the first man first makes love to the first woman, the Hebrew word used to express that means to know: “Now Adam knew Eve his wife, and she conceived and bore Cain, saying, ‘I have gotten a man with the help of the Lord'” (Genesis 4:1, RSV).

KHS Ministry will deliver content in three ways:

Blog

Every other week, we’ll share posts to help husbands nurture sexual intimacy in their marriage.

Subscribe

Community

Opening in January, this is where the bulk of the ministry will be, with insights from us and other husbands.

Coming soon!

Podcast

Starting next spring, we’ll have short episodes every other week with tips for husbands.

Stay Tuned!

Why Us?

Chris’s website is aimed wholly at wives. Yet she has heard from so many husbands who say that her explanations of how women think and act sexually have helped them understand their own wives. Chris has a unique and profound way of describing the thoughts and emotions of women.

As for me, I hear from husbands who say that I “get” them—that is, I speak Conversational Male. No, I’m not fluent! But when I speak to men, I understand enough of their language to convey their wives’ view of sex in a way that makes sense to many men.

In addition, Chris and I have both been the lower drive spouse and the higher drive spouse in our marriages, so we know what those feel like. We each have two sons, so we’ve lived with a fair amount of testosterone in our households. And we both think men are pretty awesome, so we’re on your side when it comes to sexual intimacy.

Most importantly, as Chris and I talked through this idea and developed the ministry’s specifics, we felt in tune in a way I can only explain as having God’s hand on us. We have felt His Spirit present in this endeavor.

How to Get Connected

If you’re a husband reading this, keep reading for how to get connected. If you’re a wife reading this, share this post with your husband.

To stay on top of what’s coming, follow our Facebook page and subscribe to our newsletter and blog! (Yes, wives can follow on Facebook to see what’s up with our ministry.)

We’re also on Twitter, if you get info there. And check out our website!

The post Can Men Really Understand Women’s Sexuality? appeared first on Hot, Holy & Humorous.